I'll have to look that up!

Hilarious! This is a great story!

Fun, and if English isn't your first language you write fairly better than some English speakers I know :3 keep up the good work

I think your story and writing are rather good.
The fact that it is all grouped together makes it a little more difficult to read, but not too bad for those of us who actually try to read it. I'm not going to criticize you for it, because we are all aspiring writers. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect. ;)
I love how true you stayed to how Dave and Balthazar interacted in the movie. I loved the dialog you've written for the two. "Did you just fall?" "No. I attacked the floor." "Backwards?" "I'm freaking talented!" hahaha. I LOVED that part. It made me laugh so hard.
I hope you keep writing this. :)

I love the concept, and I think it's awesome that you're writing SA fics in English even though it's not your first language. The only thing I find confusing is the way your text is set up: if you group your sentences into paragraphs instead of having a huge wall of text, it would be much easier to read. An overall good job, though. :)

I agree with Kaytori here. I cannot read this, but I want to, if you could only "fix" the text (I can't explain it).
To read this text as it is... its not funny. Its hard and boring. So fix that, and then I'll come back and give a proper review.

Ummm I can't read this thing it's a block of text. Books have formatting and the concept of paragraphs exist for a reason. This is unreadable. I can't tell you whether I like your characterization or level of description because I cannot read this.