|Reviews for The Middle of the Road|
| divine energy 7/10/12 . chapter 2
Oh my god. That locker thing just broke my heart. I mean, he just said it, and my eyes filled up with tears - he's just such a sweet kid!
Oh I can't get over it. Oh my god. God.
Okay. Okay I've composed myself. Yeesh. I just can't handle it when my boys get all mushy and sweet. I can see the Soda in him! (Haha yes, you've caught a Soda fangirl...)
Anyway. I like your style of writing. It's easy to read and it flows well, so it's not a chore reading through it. Which brings me to my next point - I think it could do with more! I think you probably could have added what happens next after it with a scene separator.
While I really liked what I was reading, I don't really feel like I've read a full chapters worth, ya know? Sometimes having shorter chapters work, but for the most part, most people settle on somewhere around two and a half thousand for enough to keep their readers satisfied. Because of your style, you could probably do less. But I think it just needs a little bit more, enough to keep people coming back, you know?
(Which reminds me, LOOK AT ME, actually following up a review with another review. It's totally not important, but I'm very proud of myself. I have a horrible reputation as a reviewer at this stage.)
I love the situation you've created with her parents. And when you said roofing business, I couldn't help but double take. How will this pan out? I can just see Ponyboy figuring out that her dad works with Darry, and she'll be all embarrassed and it'll go from there.
Sorry, reading into it too much. But it does really make me look forward to what's going to happen.
If you're looking for something constructive (which I'm usually terrible at) I'd work on dialogue. Most of the time it's good, but there are certain words or parts that can throw the reader out of the world, if that makes any sense. Dialogue is actually really important for setting the scene and making it realistic. Just something small, but everybody needs something to work on!
You're good on emotion. I really feel what you're trying to make me feel, and I actually can share what your characters are feeling. So kudos, that's not always easy. I suck at that, to tell you the truth. And it's really nice to read something that makes you feel what you're supposed to feel.
As a whole I liked the chapter. Some of it I had to read twice to make sense of it, but I don't know if that's awkward wording or my own stupidity. In fact, that was probably me. My bad.
Anyway, I liked it, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going :)
| JohnnyIsMyGoldSunset 7/9/12 . chapter 2
I'm really glad you updated; I think this story has a lotta potential and I'm really curious as to where it's going!
Oh my gosh, I loved what Michael said about Julie. He's so right lol! And I'm glad Stacy's starting to take this all into consideration. Just shows there's more to people than you can ever know.
Update soon! :D
| divine energy 7/3/12 . chapter 1
Okay first off - I was a bit concerned because you were starting with all the OCs, but I was interested by your summary. It doesn't tell me exactly what's happening, even though it gives me a rough idea, and I'm interested to see which way you're taking it. So kudos.
Don't take this the wrong way or anything, you write very well, but at the start, I felt like some of it was a bit superfluous. I mean, I know you're trying to convey emotions and stuff, and you're probably right. But even the shirt thing, that could have been cut into one or two sentences at most. It's a pacing thing, and it's totally personal, so I'm just giving you my take. If you'd like to make a style out of it, then it's totally cool.
Also, I loved the advice that she gave her brother on the greasers. I mean, of course I was indignant, because I love those boys, but it's just real interesting. I like the way that your character isn't made out to be mindless either. She doesn't necessarily love everything that most Socs do - like parties and those stories they tell - but she doesn't have a soft spot for the greasers either.
Usually, the Soc isn't at all like the rest, and sort of understands the greasers and basically casts out the Soc way of life, and accepts them. I like that while she's not just like the rest, she still doesn't tolerate the greasers.
I also love the way you introduce Ponyboy, even while you were starting with OCs. Most writers forget that even though Ponyboy's sensitive and smart, he does come across as tough to people who don't know him! So I'd like to congratulate you. Even though they're outraged at his being there, you made me believe that Ponyboy seems tough enough :D
And then of course, her name opens the door wide open for Ponyboy to notice her in a believable way, because her name is sort of peculiar like his, and of course he'd notice, and of course he'd relate. I also like the way people going on about his hair and stuff doesn't bother him. He's proud :D
I like your ending. Julie must be very brazen to talk to a greaser, but I think it worked well because it was Ponyboy!
Anyway. If I might make a suggestion or two, I don't think it would hurt if your chapter was a little longer. Of course, you've only got one right now, so it's hard to gauge an average, but I think I wanted a little bit more.
And it doesn't have to be more action either. Maybe describe her friends - not in a block paragraph obviously! - but perhaps give them distinct traits as you went along or something?
I'd like to see more of Stacy's character too, so I'm looking forward to seeing more.
Anyway, this was good :)
| Guest 7/2/12 . chapter 1
Aw... Poor Ponyboy. :(
He happens to be one of my favorite characters in the book. :)
I find Stacy to be quite refreshing; your writing style is very nice. C:
Keep up the good work & update soon!
| Musiclover24 7/3/12 . chapter 1
Awww how sad poor ponyboy:( im interested to know wat happens next
| JohnnyIsMyGoldSunset 7/2/12 . chapter 1
So, I'm writing an Outsiders OC story too and I decided to give yours a chance! :D
First off, I hate Stacy's friends. They're so rude and shallow. But I'm sure that's the way you want the reader to feel, of course!
Thank you for not starting off with a crappy paragraph that introduces Stacy and what she looks like. As long as you make her relatable to the reader and have flaws, she won't be a Mary-Sue. But I think you're good right now xD
I also felt really bad for Stacy in class with her full name...ouch. I think she and Pony would make good friends; that being one way they can relate lol.
Please continue and if you have questions or whatever, feel free to PM me anytime! :3