| Reviews for Battle Cross |
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Daniel1996 4/18/13 . chapter 23great story. good luck on the tests |
dan 3/30/13 . chapter 23 good luck on the test. great story. |
dan 3/28/13 . chapter 23 nice story |
mks 12 98 2/28/13 . chapter 23Oh Heck no! That would be something Hector could never live down! Having to look UP to Ashley. -mks out :) |
Hiccup2012 2/26/13 . chapter 23 1. Yes I don't like Hector, but is it really that much of a surprise with the way he acts? 2. I don't speak alien. 3. *takes bat* um okay? *swings but Rage ducks and ends up hitting equinox instead. Rage laughs then I hit him while he's distracted.* wanted ideas...okay you asked for them. First I would like to point out that you may change things about this idea if you wish. Also this idea may or may not work out due to that I don't know Ashley's whole back story (mainly the part I mentioned earlier about her and Hector never meeting before then I said maybe she's adopted then you said "no but good guess"). This will be brief to allow for time and will have gaps for you too fill in(since, once again, I don't know the whole story that you guys have planned). Ashley has an older brother Michael (you may change the name if you wish), they were separated when they were young, Michael is kidnapped by Drake Maverick and is used as a lab rat. Drake is using Michael to test a new type of that green regenerating serum stuff. Somewhere along the way Michael loses his left eye. The experiment goes too well and while he still doesn't have his eye the serum is infused into his body. he now has superhuman abilities and his right eye is now purple. (If you want his abilities, think Albert Wesker's super speed, and regeneration. He also has the strength equivalent to someone with a battle suit.). Michael broke out and destroyed the hidden lab along with all the research in it, save for a gun that fired special green bullets and has a blade attached to the bottom. He also memorized the process to make the bullets before destroying it as well. The bullets can punch through tank armor. Now he's after Drake Maverick for revenge. his search for Drake happens to take him to the Battle cross tournament. Michael's outfit is based off of Wolf O'Donnell from Starfox: Assault. His personality is also based on Wolf, in short, cold and heartless to his enemies but (unlike Hector) stands up and defends those who can't defend themselves, and NEVER picks on those weaker than him, unless they have it coming. If you want an actual reference look at Victor Turdleman's stories. Warning though the chapters are LONG. No joke. Okay, im sure youre wondering, What is his point in the story? Well as stated he's after Drake which will lead to a confrontation that will end up leaving the company in Alvin's hands. (We know that can't end well.). He'll also be reunited with Ashley, which would result in an affect on her aggressive attitude. He'd also be the one person Hector is truly terrified of, as well as the guy who will give him the nickname Hiccup. Ridiculous idea? Just remember, Equinox asked. |
Hiccup2012 1/15/13 . chapter 22 Hector, you are a sad, strange, pathetic man. And you don't have any pity from me. Equinox, hope you get better dude. |
Farming 101 1/14/13 . chapter 22Alright! Another awesome chapter! I was wondering why this chapter wasn't showing up on fanfiction. Also keep those comments coming! Keeps the wrighters gets in tune with their readers. And we all know that Hector's only sport is Battle Cross, so it's only logical that he would suck at dodgeball. So again, love the story, love the before story comments to previous reviews, and just an all around keep up the AWESOME work you two! |
CGJ 1/4/13 . chapter 21A filler chapter? Didn't feel like it. I actually really enjoyed reading this one :) |
Farming 101 1/3/13 . chapter 21I wasn't really quoting anything, just kind of saying 'Yeah let's get this party started!' Again great chapter, and kind of ironic that it only took a monkey wrench to the head to defeat Hector. Lol. Keep up the great work you two! (Oh and filler chapters are just fine, at least that's my opinion, for I see them as extending a story and adding depth.) |
Hiccup2012 1/3/13 . chapter 21 I apologize Equinox. I tried to call the Panda Patrol, but accidentally called Panda Express instead. All I remember after that is a delicious meal. Good chapter, and good job describing the armors. Although I thought the teams were required to have five members each? I could be wrong and I'm not interested enough to go back and look. Not Flaming! Just trying to clear up some details. Oh and Equinox, I didn't say anything about fan-art for the story. And if you're trying to hint an offer to me, I'm honored but I'm more a paper and pencil drawer. Plus I have no way of sending it to you. Sorry. No I do not have any story suggestions, I've sort of given up on that. You guys seem to have an answer for everything I say. Don't you dare let that go to your heads or else. |
Galaxy Dragonoid 1/3/13 . chapter 1Ohhh |
mks 12 98 1/3/13 . chapter 21Hector: what...what gives him...the right to destroy things other people find precious. He...was hurt himself, but that doesn't give him the right to hurt others. He is a very troubled character that has a very dark side. Why did he kiss Ash? Ash: I kind of feel bad for her...I mean, she has lost so much since meeting Hector. I mean, Teddy and Stewart were friends, but now their not. Ronnie and Ash were friends but now they are not. Ronnie and Ash split up, because they hurt each other, which was during the time Ash was acting like a brat. -mks ,out :) |
CGJ 12/20/12 . chapter 20You know, I really liked chapters 18 and 19…but I hated the last chapter… Until Hiccup's mother. That was so sweet. Anyway, for the future: I think as Hector and Ashley walk out of the tunnel, he starts the process of reconciliation. That would be nice. |
Farming 101 12/15/12 . chapter 20It's time to bring on the THUNDER! |
Hiccup2012 12/15/12 . chapter 20 Okay, me again. Sorry but this honestly just came to me. I don't know which order you get these in, but in my other review for this chapter I asked a question about how Hector and Ashley are only a couple years apart but have never met. Well I think I might have just answered my own question. Ashley is adopted. She was adopted after the whole Haddock Scandal and Hector's mom leavening, hence why they've never met before. It makes sense, unless there's some mention of like a five year old Ash in one of the previous chapters that I've forgotten about. Plus it would make Hector's "like mother like daughter" argument even more illegitimate. But as always its up to you guys. Sorry if my constant ideas are bothering you. Honestly I write some of them and post the review, then five minutes later I look back and see how dumb they are. I'm not trying to tell you how to run your story, I just like contributing to stories that I like, if that makes you feel any better. Happy Holidays! |