AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW! So cute...love it!

(/)_(\).so cuteeeee!

Percy wouldn't act like this not even Close I was too embarrassed to read the end.

That is amazing!

This is very well-written, and the only main thing holding this fic back, are well, the song lyrics. They could possibly get this story deleted, and the worst part is that you don't need those lyrics to make this story shine. If you just deleted some of the lyrics and added in some more details, it would flow just as well and maybe even better. Your writing has already set the tone for the story, and you don't need the song to make the reader connect better. However, as this was written with the song in mind, you can leave a note in an AN telling the reader that the story is based off of the song and recommend that they listen to the song while reading it. If you don't want to let go of the version you have with lyrics, you can post it to a site that allows such writing like deviantART or Livejournal. I hope you decide to change your story so it abides the rules!

Aeyra
Proud Member of Critics United

This is alright mostly, but song lyrics are not allowed according to the site guidelines.

A common mistake among writers is this: not using a comma inside dialogues when there's a dialogue tag next to it.

Dialogue (with tags) should be like this:
"Hey," Percy greeted Annabeth.
or this:
"Hey," he said.
This works out if there's no dialogue tag:
"Hey." Percy sat down next to Annabeth.

This is incorrect:
"Hey." Percy greeted Annabeth.

Other than that, this is good, just remove the lyrics and you'd be fine. Tell the readers to listen to the song as they read through the fic.

Sorry to say, but you're reported until this is edited.

-Critics United.

You're a very excellent writer. :-)

Aww... What a reunion. :') Who knew Percy could be this...depressed? :/ But anyhoo, awesome one-shot. :D

AWWWWW :')

Sniff sniff. Its so romantic! Thank you!

This is really good. I was going to skip over it, but then I saw that the song was by Owl City. And I read it.

I am not sure if you are aware of this, but songfics are not allowed by the website rules. The site is open to lawsuits if we use copyrighted lyrics. I know it seems crazy, but it has happened in the past. Please edit them out of your story, which is easily done. Your fic should be fine without all the lyrics, trust me! If you want to set the mood for the story, might I suggest posting a link to the song on youtube on your fic? However, for the meantime, this is reportable.

Xx Write on, keep calm, and carry on! The Legend of Derpy, Proud Member of Critics United xX