|Reviews for Family Tragedy|
| sass box 1/28/13 . chapter 2
You've got a good start and plenty of potential here! I know English isn't your first language, and you've done a really good job with the spelling and grammar, but there are a few things that you might want to get a beta for. There are a few run-on sentences, but nothing that really detracts from the story. That's something a beta could fix.
Another thing that I would suggest is writing longer chapters. You don't have to go write 2000 words for the next one, but work your way up. When I first started writing I could barely get to 1000 words for a chapter, and now I average about 3000 words a chapter. There's so much more to sink your teeth into in longer chapters.
You've done a great job showing the emotions in a realistic way. It's not overdone, but it's believable. But like I said above, longer chapters would really help to flesh out the story.
Overall, it's a great start, and with a little help you could go far! :)
| CMCrazies 11/5/12 . chapter 2
awesome loved it
| KittyCabaret 8/26/12 . chapter 1
Some of your tenses are a little off, but as far as sentance structure and placing commas and all that as well as using the correct forms of "there" and "You're", I think you do a lot better than native English speakers.
| luv2write0205 8/19/12 . chapter 1
Poor JJ. It's a shame that Will was at such a risk of death and had JJ so worried. I hope that you continue this soon!
| Rebecca1 8/18/12 . chapter 1
Awww it is always good to see the vulnerable side of the team :-) This was a good first chapter
| ficdirectory 7/27/12 . chapter 1
I enjoyed the extra parts you added!
| Whiitewolf 7/27/12 . chapter 1
This was so well written and amazing and I can feel JJ's emotions. You've done a brilliant job!
| SurfingCountryGirl2 7/13/12 . chapter 1
great story it was nice to see that side of things
| Allysecrimindfan 7/12/12 . chapter 1
I'm ready for more already!
| CMCrazies 7/12/12 . chapter 1
oooooooohhhhhhh, add more and soon !