You've got a good start and plenty of potential here! I know English isn't your first language, and you've done a really good job with the spelling and grammar, but there are a few things that you might want to get a beta for. There are a few run-on sentences, but nothing that really detracts from the story. That's something a beta could fix.

Another thing that I would suggest is writing longer chapters. You don't have to go write 2000 words for the next one, but work your way up. When I first started writing I could barely get to 1000 words for a chapter, and now I average about 3000 words a chapter. There's so much more to sink your teeth into in longer chapters.

You've done a great job showing the emotions in a realistic way. It's not overdone, but it's believable. But like I said above, longer chapters would really help to flesh out the story.

Overall, it's a great start, and with a little help you could go far! :)

awesome loved it

Some of your tenses are a little off, but as far as sentance structure and placing commas and all that as well as using the correct forms of "there" and "You're", I think you do a lot better than native English speakers.

Poor JJ. It's a shame that Will was at such a risk of death and had JJ so worried. I hope that you continue this soon!

Awww it is always good to see the vulnerable side of the team :-) This was a good first chapter

I enjoyed the extra parts you added!

This was so well written and amazing and I can feel JJ's emotions. You've done a brilliant job!

great story it was nice to see that side of things

I'm ready for more already!

oooooooohhhhhhh, add more and soon !