|Reviews for The Serpents|
| MaryanneR 11/27/12 . chapter 3
Can you send me the link for Break In please I can't seem to find it! x
| Galgalatz 7/15/12 . chapter 2
Ah, that's much better! Good work! You really set up the group dynamic very well, It's obvious to see that they work well together and will work together again in the future.
I think you should add a bit of humor to the story, It'll help making this story an easier read, seeing as there are so many gory details.
| diddidoddi787 7/15/12 . chapter 1
Really good :) better than mine!
| Galgalatz 7/15/12 . chapter 1
WTF? ok, so crappy childhood- check.
That was actually kinda funny to read in a very, very twisted way. Extremely unrealistic if you ask me- what are the odds that all of them have crappy pasts, end up in the same place, AND spill the beans about their entire history to the first people they meet? Like I said- unrealistic.
I'm not sure where you're headed with this story, but it might be a good idea to prolong this part a bit if you have the time or energy. Instead of one short chapter, make it a few where they learn to know and trust each other, explain their pasts one at a time, just making it a bit of a more serious story you know?
Other than that, it's generally a good idea. You don't get to many where our main characters are a bit evil, but it also makes things that much more fun...good luck continuing!