|Reviews for Darth Revan and the StarGate|
| GenoBeast 7/16/12 . chapter 1
...Now I do like the general idea your fanfic proposes but I think it fails in the execution of it.
.I am not very good at writting personally but I can see the minor mistakes in grammar and punctuation that are noticeable enough to break the flow of the chapter.
.If you were going to do the timeskips then you could cut out all the bs you wrote up till the part where Revan is informed of the Stargate technology...a fairly quick overview of the situation would have been sufficient because what dialogue you did put in felt kind of awkward.
.Why did the Rakata not built their own Stargates if they possessed the technology? It may have been better to just have it so they found a single Stargate salvaged and partially studied by the Rakata before they fell. I love the idea of the Sith eventually developing their own Stargate system but the way you present the Stargate feels forced and unrealistic given the history of the Rakata.
Good luck with your fanfic though...