|Reviews for One Step Forward, Two Steps Back|
| ChaseROCKS 2/8/13 . chapter 1
Okay, my review was cut off, so here's what I was saying...
It’s not that you wrote it badly or anything like that, it’s just that because you wrote it so well, the “scene” between the two of them at the end of Chapter 11… I think it was a little too mature for my taste. But I really do think you wrote the story beautifully!
Chapter 12. OMGosh, I giggled a little when I read the part about the rest of the team getting frustrated about being stuck at their desks for the past few months! The mention of Bouff being tired of their bickering- Oh, and the ‘not soon enough for me’ line at the end, I laughed at that too!
Overall, I really loved reading this fanfic, Poorcuepine! It pulled my emotions all over the place (in a good way), like I’d get SO into this story that I’d feel right along with the characters and I LOVE those kinds of stories that are so well-written that you feel like your right there your favorite characters every step of the way! I wanted to thank you for creating the perfect escape for me at the end of a stressful and busy week, and I hope this review will motivate you to continue writing and molding these fabulous tales that bring a little more light into my life! XOXO, ChaseROCKS
| ChaseROCKS 2/8/13 . chapter 1
OMG! Poorcuepine, I’m so sorry it’s been SO long since I commented earlier to let you know I’d be reviewing soon! I hope this hasn’t discouraged you in any possible way, because you are an awesome writer! Okay, this is my entire review; prepare yourself for a long one. Here we go! ;D
In Chapter 1, you totally nailed Annie’s character with the second paragraph about how she needed to get out of her hospital room, and I love the part where Daisy calls because 59’s driving her crazy. I’m smirking now just thinking about it. ;) Poor 59 had been kept from Annie for so long, of course he’d be super excited to see her again, which brings me to my next favorite part…
“ When the doors opened, the big headed Rottweiler took one look at his favorite buddy and there was no stopping him. Fortunately for the hospital, the front doors were motion activated or they might have been destroyed as the lug of a dog sprinted mindlessly toward his best friend. ”
OMGosh! I LOVE this part, it’s so cute! I especially like the part where you had to mention that the doors were automatic. I could totally picture this part in my head! I 3 59! ;D
The second chapter had some sweet moments too. One of my favorites was when Jimmy asks the question about how Annie’s probably never going to get used to the hospital bed moving. :) Oh, and another favorite of mine was how you wrote the part of Annie’s thoughts after Jimmy leaves the room, about her trouble with the vulnerability thing and putting up walls. Really well written, I love it! At the end of Chapter 2, I guess I was feeling the same way Jimmy must’ve been feeling. Poorcuepine, you wrote her feelings and thoughts so ‘Annie-like’ that I just wanted her to be happy again… but that’s okay, because Jimmy will take care of that! :D
And Chapter 3, oh my gosh! I almost cried when I read the part with Marco and Jimmy having their ‘guy talk’, like when Jimmy was talking about going to the hospital everyday because he didn’t want Annie to ever think that he’d desert her. This is like the 3rd or 4th time I’ve read this story too, but I always seem to tear up a little when Jimmy’s expressing his care and concern to Marco. This is proof that you’re a good writer! ;)
Okay, and then when Luke and Daisy share a little moment holding the plant and flowers for Annie, that was cute, I smiled right along with them! :)
I also laughed when I read that Maggie “...pushed him toward Annie's room.” I love Maggie and her peppiness! So cute, I could totally picture her in my mind! ;D Ooh, and I also loved the Ben and Jimmy part in the end of this chapter! Yup, the boys still dislike each other! *Smirks* I laughed at the part where they barely acknowledge each other with nods when Jimmy gets there. Oh, and when they’re lying to each other about their injuries… *LOL* Do guys just think its macho or something? Or is it just because they were both trying to win the heart of Annie Frost and they’re still slightly battling it out? ;) Anyway, the “How’s your gut?” line was my absolute favorite! Like, I could totally see him saying that in my mind. ;D I actually laughed out loud when I read that!
Okay, moving on to Chapter 4, I was totally like ‘Ha! See, Annie still appreciates your company, Jimmy!’ *Sighs* but he didn’t notice… *shakes head* Oh, well…
I was also feeling sad with the team, hoping things would get better soon, too. *Bites side of bottom lip* Ugh, and the awkwardness when Marco spilled the beans. :) It was probably a ‘Yup, this is awkward!’ moment.
Chapter 5. This was one of my favorite lines, “He is already in therapy? Wait! How far behind am I? He is going to be back at work before me. Nononononononono… this cannot happen. It cannot happen. Take me to H.E.A.T. right now.” I was like ‘Aww, Annie. You can’t be first in everything. Yes, Jimmy’s going to beat you back to work. Deal with it, girl.’ :) *Smiles* Gosh, she’s a workaholic. Oh, and then Daisy’s line later on, "You almost died. Why do you feel the need to always push. Can't you just relax and recover?" Oh my gosh! *Laughs* I love this line! I was thinking ‘Uh, Daisy? This is Annie you’re talking to. It’s the same reason why she never hesitates to jump after a fugitive.’ ;) And a quick question, Poorcuepine, is a “U-ey” (as in U-turn) official driver lingo or something? (I thought it was cute even if it’s not official lingo.) :D*Continues to read* Aww! I smiled right along with Jimmy at this part:
“ Jimmy grinned and looked down shaking his head. Leave it to his partner to be so focused that she would overlook her own health. ” *Continues reading, sniffles at end of chapter* Aww, Jimmy! Annie! Both of them! Ugh, you wrote the end of this chapter so well that I think I was feeling what they had to have been feeling. Like, Jimmy and how he had to be stern and he couldn’t coddle her anymore, because she has to realize what she’s doing to herself and everyone else. Oh, man…
*Takes a breath* Oh, and in Chapter 6… I think my absolute favorite part was when it said “ He grinned at her reaction remembering his meeting with Ben at the hospital. They were all still pretty beat up. ” *Smirks* I totally smiled along with Jimmy after I read those words! :) But then again… *Thinks for a second* I do like the part before that when Annie jumps up because she forgot to feed 59, too. Yeah, but I’d probably still say that Jimmy’s thinking is my favorite.
Ugh, and then in Chapter 7 I got so depressed with the both of them. *Shrugs* Anyway, I smirked when Annie rolls her eyes after Jimmy tells her about the team wanting to get together for drinks. I just thought it was SO Annie, like… to me, the eye rolls and smirks were one of the things that made her character! *Smirks* It was like this other side of her, sort of another softer side of Annie, like a quirkier and cute side… I don’t know, maybe it was just a character trait of Kelli’s or something…
I loved it when Daisy follows Annie to the restroom and she’s like “You aren't talking to the Therapist, are you?” when I read that, I was like ‘Of course she’s not, Daisy. This is Annie Frost, remember?’ And then I found myself cheering Daisy on with a ‘Yeah, you tell her, girl! You tell her what she’s doing to poor Jimmy!’ *Smiles* I have to admit though, I was glad Daisy held her ground, but was disappointed when Annie managed to get around her. Oh, and the next part was definitely one of my favorites!
Hmm… Annie and her new therapist… I don’t know what it is about the part, but I kept smiling through the whole thing! I guess it’s because I was thinking ‘Finally! Someone who can get Annie back to normal (or at least back to the Annie Frost we all know and love)!’ And I especially like Annie’s defensive thought about it not being 59’s fault. From the moment where Annie stands up to leave all the way to when she runs into Jimmy, the whole heated conversation between Annie and Melanie, like… wow… Gosh, I don’t know how to explain it. I was on the edge of my seat, like, *Laughs a little* I actually started leaning in closer to the computer screen as I was reading on, until I was finally like ‘Whoa, ChaseROCKS, you’re gonna ruin your eyesight! Too close to the screen, girl!’ Anyway, Melanie is good; I mean she actually got Annie to talk to her! That’s progress! :)
*Lets out a breath* Oh, and poor Jimmy! He was just walking by the wrong place at the wrong time. I felt so bad for him when he was thinking about what Joe told him, that he couldn’t be the one to help her through it even though he wanted to. Aww, Jimmy! *Gives Computer Hug* :D
My emotions went along with 59 and Jimmy in Chapter 8. Poor doggie, he was so confused with Annie and Jimmy, and I think it totally shows how pets like him can sense how their owner’s feeling. Ugh, and Jimmy’s falling apart, and Annie’s being so horrible to him because she’s trying to keep everyone outside her walls, but he still stays and is trying to be super patient with her even though it’s killing him that he can’t find a way to help her (and because she’s not letting him), but we all know how badly he wants to and how hard he’s trying.
I think the two last lines got to me. Jimmy’s asking if she wanted to talk about anything, and when she responded, I was thinking that it was another knife to the heart for Jimmy. Aww… I kinda wished she’d open up to him, but then I remembered what Joe said earlier.
But I was happy when I continued to read the next chapter and found out Annie was ready to talk to Melanie, even though she held up her defense for one last time. *Smirks* I love that scene! I smiled a little when Annie’s trying to convince Melanie that she would’ve saved herself. Typical Annie Frost…
And then when Melanie asked about if she thought Jimmy blames her… Wow! Yeah, this was definitely my most favorite scene! Ooh, and when Melanie’s thinking ‘Did she just say what I thought she said?’… LOVE!
Okay, this may be a little off-topic (maybe a LOT off-topic), but at this point for some weird reason, I was thinking that Joe and Melanie would be a cute couple. *Smirks* I think I’m just too much of a shipper…
In Chapter 10, I’m glad Jimmy got back the Annie he knows and loves! Okay, I’ll admit they’re cute together, but I’m still going to hold out for my Ben/Annie story! ;)
Chapter 11. I always find Jimmy and his “Yes, ma’am” lines totally adorable! That’s my favorite cowboy! I also adore Annie’s ‘spark’/pouting side. I laughed when I realized that side of her still came out. *Smirks* Yeah, that part was one of my favorites! They’re cute! I was telling myself, ‘Now, Annie, you can’t be first in everything, remember?’ Then I surprised myself when I continued reading and found that I was actually right. I love how excited she got over being ahead of him in shooting a gun!
Moving farther along… I think it’s just me, so I don’t know if I need to say this, but… *Stops to think for a second* how do I put this? It’s not that you w
| Emily111 12/12/12 . chapter 12
lovely, lovey, LOVELY story :D
I really like your writing and the fluff is soooo cute ;)
| ChaseROCKS 10/11/12 . chapter 1
OMGoodness! It's been so long since I've commented! I'm so sorry I haven't reviewed your story yet, Poorcuepine! I've been really busy and I wanted to write a review for every chapter, so I kept putting it off.
*Sighs* [talks to self] 3 months should not be excusable, ChaseROCKS...
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'll try to review really soon, once I find a little extra time in my week. So, I hope my lack of comments didn't discourage you and that you're still writing and maybe even have another story for us. You're a great writer, Poorcuepine! I'll review as soon as I can!
| Pianogirl 7/23/12 . chapter 1
Wow! Amazing story, I read it like the second day you posted but I was blown away by how good it was that I waited and re-read the story again b4 reviewing. It was awesome that we got the whole story at once instead of reading 1 chapter at a time with days/weeks between readings.
It was so sad/intense about Annie locking the kidnapping away in her soul and Jimmy was so sweet with waiting. Plus, 59 was so well written as a character in the story and not just as a prop- pets are so aware of their owners feelings more so than people sometimes and can get people to feel things they might otherwise be scared of, like Annie was in this story.
And chapter 11- wow was that hot!
You said "so you can improve" does that mean there is the possibility of another story ;) I hope so because you are so talented, keep up the great work!