|Reviews for Emergency|
| Maia2 11/7/12 . chapter 1
Interesting story. Impeccable timing indeed.
I like how you played with Danny's worry, Rusty's 'guard' as you called it, Linus' being in the dark... again. How it all actually played into it and how important the emergency plan always, always is.
Poor Rusty, but I really liked how you interspersed his despair with his determination NOT to be despaired. Danny's worry with his determination NOT to worry. Linus.. well you get the drift, right? Really well done with the parallels.
On another note? the arylide yellow discussion? priceless.
Thanks for sharing,
| otherhawk 7/24/12 . chapter 1
You know, it really is fantastic that you're back. Would have been fantastic in any form, but coming back with wonderful fic of brilliance – well, that's more than it's reasonable to hope for. :)
And this *is* wonderful fic of brilliance. Lest there's any doubt. It's so full of emotion; the dialogue sparkles and the writing just *flows* Sigh. Fantastic. Oh, and incidentally, wouldn't it be so much easier if in addition to Danny and Rusty DannyandRusty was on the character list? I've always thought so, anyway.
Love the opening with the tie waggling and Rusty's fashion sense, and Linus fighting his losing battle to get a bigger part in the con. Not this one. Not a chance, even when he argues that they won't need to be split up,
Sigh for Rusty's hand on Danny's shoulder. Think Danny needs it right then. And Linus is more than sharp enough to notice, and to notice the creases and even without Danny's emphasis on him being the lifeline he can tell that this isn't normal, and he's going to be on edge.
Incidentally, much joy for the bus advert. Fantastic touch of time and place, not to mention it sort of reflects the theme of the story, with everything going wrong.
Edgar Colworth. Who I do not like at all. And can see how little Danny likes this plan, with the two days delay, and turning away when Rusty says it's worth it, and it all being a terrible idea when Linus hears him talk. And it's for Saul, of course, and that matters to both of them. Though Danny is right to remind himself that Saul won't know the details. Because if Saul did, he would not be pleased.
And sighing and smiling at the
“For a split second, as he blinked, Rusty wondered when it had become about payback and loyalties and dependence and love and ties that bound, only to realise he didn't mind all that much. “
No. He doesn't mind at all.
The scene in the elevator is really horrible and brilliantly described. Makes me shudder. And hate that Rusty is thinking it's perfect because it gives him the chance to get the cards, and ignoring what's happening even as he goes along with it. And hate that he's hoping so much that Danny isn't watching.
What Linus sees. And it's nothing that he's expecting and of course he picks up on where Colworth's hand is, and he spots the blood, and you know, I completely missed the signal the first time around. Oh, you dropped it in very well.
Hate the scene in the bedroom even more than the one in the elevator. Hate all the places Colworth's hands are, and the description is brilliant and real and shuddersome. Hate that Rusty isn't able to fight. Hate that he has to go along with it, even. And was glad that he was able to get the envelope – oh, he is brilliant – and head to the bathroom, and was screaming inside along with him when there was no window.
(Incidentally, can't help but disagree with Rusty later that Colworth must have been upgraded. Bathroom with no window and a lower floor...I swear, he was *down*graded. Maybe he was rude to the desk staff.)
Back with Linus, and him realising that this was the plan all along and it's still gone wrong. And sigh for him taking away the horror from the image in order to recognise the signal. And I'm so, so, so glad that he realises.
Rusty's preparations and he's hiding things so that he can get through whatever Colworth does to him without getting caught. Hate him accepting his fate. Even more I hate the “(If.)” And then trying to look “prepared and willing” and *I'm* howling inside.
Linus rescue is simple and brilliant and such a relief. And can picture him standing there, looking at Rusty's naked back, not knowing what to say or do and torturing himself wondering just how far it got. And see, love the moment of Linus paying attention to his eyes and wishing he hadn't. Because I can see what's in Rusty's eyes there, and I can't blame Linus for not being able to handle it.
And of course Rusty doesn't want Danny to know. And Linus knows that's not going to work, just as Rusty really is, but he will keep his mouth shut. For both reasons. Really, you do do what Rusty says on the night of. Swear to god, there is fic in him abusing that power...
Much love for the end scene. Because Danny was always going to know, and Rusty needs him to know. And sigh for the guard that's been there all this time dropping, and the sorrys, and Danny destroying the shirt that neither of them will ever want to see again. And I'm very, very glad that this bathroom door was unlocked. Sign that Rusty is close to okay.
It is a fantastic fic. And I really, really, really *really* hope to read more from you.
| otherhawk 7/23/12 . chapter 1
Let me guess, the movie was on TV or something?
It's wonderful to see you again! (And the squee was deafening, she's not exaggerating.) And I've read the story and it's *fantastic* but I need to go to work five minutes ago so more on this later. :)
| InSilva 7/22/12 . chapter 1
*You're* emotional? Mate, you don't want to hear the squee inside of me because it's deafening. :) Welcome back!
Oh, it's brilliant. Your writing has always been powerful and it seems to have become even more so. This is a really, really rich, descriptive, visual, emotive piece.
I love the opening with the tie-waggling.
'The left one, Rus.'
'Gracias.' The ties disappeared, then: 'Your left or mine?'
Giggling for the tie-waggling even though there's an undercurrent of tension with the banter - can feel it starting with the "No smile".
And sigh for Linus still so mesmerised and *still* so ambitious, still so desperate to prove himself. Some things will never change. And of course there is no way on earth they are going to let him take Rusty's place. Equally, there's no way they're going to paint the full picture. Need to know basis.
Can see that scene of Rusty temptation. Using what nature gave him to reel in the mark. Small scream at Rusty for the lip-licking. Doesn't seem like Edgar needs any further encouragement. And I like all the little asides that show us how reluctant Danny is about this job and at the same time we know how important it is to them. It's Saul, after all.
This is echoed in the Linus pov - "why had this job seemed easy when he had been talking to Rusty and the worst idea ever when he had been talking to Danny". Simple answer, because it's Rusty up in the suite with Edgar, not Danny. Sigh.
Oh, Danny. Sitting and watching Rusty and Edgar is slow torture. Especially to someone with Danny's imagination. No wonder that coffee is cold (and that is a fantastic touch). Danny having to talk himself back from the edge every two seconds because this is Saul and the hard-nosed strategist in Danny knows this is the best opportunity for taking Edgar down. Incidentally, I love the mention of the two day delay where Danny is arguing with himself about whether or not the job should go ahead. And sigh for him telling himself they've done this before so they can do it again. "Just like in Belize. Just like in Anaheim. Just like in fucking Monterrey." He wants to believe that so much because the alternative is unthinkable.
The elevator. Shuddering for the shock of the grab and grind and of course, Rusty's taking himself out of the moment with all the details about the job. And yes, can imagine that he's distracted enough not to notice the direction of the elevator.
So much love for Linus's pov when the elevator doors open. The absolute surprise because this is the part of the plan he didn't know about when he was busy volunteering to be a PA interviewee. and the mute and the unable to do anything in a sea of people. And I love how you disguise Rusty's message. That was so simple and so clever.
The different floor. The different room. Rusty adapting the plan and it should, could, might still all be alright up until the point where the bathroom door closes (seriously, he should stay away from bathrooms (OK, *unsafe* bathrooms)).
Linus is wonderful. Can see the pieces falling into place and I love the echo back to O11 and the mock-argument and he might wish that they would include him but sometimes there are very real reasons why they won't. Love that he works out what Rusty's wave means.
Edgar. Oh, you write a vile monster very well. I'm shuddering for the tactile and the physical. You've always been excellent at the sensory description and it's really easy to live the horror Rusty's going through. So happy that Linus interrupts things brilliantly.
The rescue is simple and effective. And the relief in Rusty that makes him tremble because it's all been so close. Clever writer you to show us this through Linus's eyes. And no, Rusty would want to hide this from Danny if at all possible.
"What?s and Rusty!s and I don't think Danny won't know...s were close (very close) to falling out of Linus's mouth but he kept them in and told himself it wasn't because of the quicker blinks and the hands holding on to the jacket (and the tie before that) to stop from shaking and the eyes only fixed on the open door and the almost completely veiled edge of desperate hope that Danny wouldn't know in Rusty's voice but just because this was still the night-of and you did what Rusty told you to do on the night-of."
Long sentence of brilliance. Perfectly captures the thoughts rushing through Linus's head and the emotion Rusty's trying to hide. I particularly like the "you did what Rusty told you" line as well - the secret to a successful con.
And Danny's anxiety levels going through the roof by the time Linus and Rusty arrive. And no way he isn't going to know something's up.
The end scene works beautifully. The guilt and the guard - the pretence that this is just another con - and the meltdown and the comfort and the them. Happy sigh. Everything as it should be.
Just know that this is a wonderful story - such a marvellous surprise to find! - and that I'm so, so happy to see you back on site. :)