|Reviews for Everything You Want|
| AznMistress 12/31/12 . chapter 1
I enjoyed that immensely :D. Was never a huge fan of Yagyuu...but this fic made him...better. Its a lot easier to like a person when you see from their eyes, no?
And the portrayal of Sayoko and Niou...:D. so adorable. I love them. Heheh :D
| Justanotheranonymous 12/10/12 . chapter 1
Moar! Moar! Moar!
| Queen - K i r e i 8/7/12 . chapter 1
I just LOVED this story! And I'm so excited to see the next chapters... I think that I'm definitely in love with NiouSayoko (not at "KiriAn level", but still). And I really like Yagyuu :). I'm so glad that you have made this story in his point of view. The way he resented Yukimura and disliked Niou at first, and how they became friends. Awesome. So awesome.
And Niou, oh Niou XD. I didn't like him that much in 250DS, but now I really like him :). And about Sayoko, I think it will be very interesting to see her transition, I mean, she was a nice little girl, who adored her brother and stuff, a little shy... and then she became in a rather manipulative and spoiled girl (with all her insecurities and personal demons, of course), and... I don't know, I think it would be very interesting see all that and her relation with Niou through the years. And told in Yagyuu's POV, brilliant. Total win.
Anddd... sure I've missed things in 250DS. I don't know if you remember that I was going to U.S for this winter break? Well, I just came back to Chile and it was SO awesome being in U.S. that shgdhjdgsf! And now I have a lot of new chapters read, so yay :D
Hope you're doing great! Good luck in college. I bet you're pretty excited about it. :)
And, as always, sorry if there's any mistakes... in NY a lot of people speak spanish, so my english didn't improve that much xD
| Pweety Stars 8/7/12 . chapter 1
Yes. NiouSayoko. :D Anyways, great Fic as always, and much more knowledge in Rikkai (in your prospective). And how excited are you for college on a scale from excited to excited? So, you ever gonna update on 250 DS...? :)
This is a one shot right?
| Eco Panda 8/6/12 . chapter 1
I am in love with this pairing. More stories pleaaaaase! :D
| MissMeep 8/5/12 . chapter 1
Ugh. I read this, and I can't think. (Still raging about Federer's loss Q.Q) Did you change your writing style?
Uhm. Yukimura and Sanada. LOL. I really liked Yagyuu's character, could totally tell it was him, and stuff... Yeah... Sooo, is this set in middle school or high school? My mind's kinda fuzzy right now and I'm reviewing this story just cuz I'm a profile stalker. Bowchikawowow. (So sorry... D;)
The best part of a review (not!): Next chapter please!
Yeah, sorry for this super crappy review (it's not a flipping review...Who am I kidding? It just isn't. Gah.)
| mintish 8/4/12 . chapter 1
I wanted to do another spazzy review but I didn't think it would fit this kind of story. So yay, coherence this time!
I don't remember if I've ever specifically mentioned this before, but you've got a way with words. I've nitpicked around with odd bits in 250DS and stuff but all of that aside, you've done a great job with Yagyuu's voice point of view here—his voice is spot on and I'd wager that if you had omitted his name, we would still be able to tell that Yagyuu is the narrator.
Platinum pair is probably my favourite ship in this fandom. I have a thing for /opposites attract/ (heh) and Niou and Yagyuu are so different from each other yet work together so well. I love how you've portrayed their relationship here: at first Yagyuu dislikes Niou's astuteness, and their relationship brings out the un-gentlemanliness (this is totally a word) in him as they trade thinly-veiled insults and snarky comments amid their tennis conquest. And then they're friends.
Gosh, I love that.
Moving on from Platinum, I like how you've introduced Sayoko into the team. Sanada's intolerance of her presence (which I was side-eyeing REALLY HARD, especially when he said that she's a distraction) and Yukimura's rebuttal. And how Niou fits into all of this, sauntering into their conversation without actually being there and smoothing things over in the casual way he does things.
"That's how it becomes all right for Niou Masaharu to play around with Yukimura Sayoko." I like this line.
Relationships aside, Yagyuu's narration is perfect. You've done such a great, great job exploring bits of Niou's character here—how he scares their opponent just by looking at him, how he hides the book-falling-on-Sayoko's-head from Yukimura, how he undermines Sayoko's confidence in their discussions. These are all tidbits that I've gathered from all those 250DS chapters, but it's interesting seeing things play out from Yagyuu's POV.
And Sayoko. You know by now that I absolutely adore her, so this backstory on her transition into the Rikkai team is lovely. You've spent a lot of time expanding on her character in relation to others in 250DS, but it's great seeing her /before/. She likes current events—was there anything in particular that sparked this interest? Seeing all of this through Yagyuu's POV makes things interesting as well—in 250DS, Sayoko is viewed as cold and manipulative in the beginning, and then her insecurities are slowly explored. I've always wondered how the team would see her, since they're closer to her than the average student but there's the barrier of her being Yukimura's little sister.
Yagyuu's POV really shines and it's probably my favourite aspect here.
Onto criticism: canonically, I thought that Yagyuu joined the tennis club when Niou asked him to. Before, he was in the golf club. But I guess this is a minor thing that doesn't really detract from the overall story.
Secondly, this takes place in the first year of junior high. Everyone is twelve, and while POT characters never really act their age, it's especially hard for me to imagine them being pre-teens here. I read this imagining them as first year high schoolers, because it seemed too awkward to imagine them as junior high students. Some things they say just don't fit. Their vocabulary is too advanced, they speak too precisely or maturely and show little sign of being young and immature. Of course it's possible that they are exceptionally advanced for their age, but it's hard for me to accept this when their actions are so reminiscent of 250DS. While these two fics are comprised of the same characters, they take place in different time frames and everyone here is simply /younger/.
I'd like to see how everyone came to be the way they are in 250DS: how Yanagi's data tennis evolved (he seems far too analytical here to make me excited for his growth—body language is a subtle thing that I can't picture him /understanding/ at twelve) or Yukimura's leadership abilities evolve (he's made for leading, there's no doubt about it, but how does he react to having the responsibility thrust upon his shoulders? Or has he always been a leader growing up, because of his constant superiority?). I think you captured Yagyuu and Sanada's twelve year old selves the strongest: Yagyuu is proper and childishly thinks that being the best defaults to leadership, and Sanada is a bit irrational and angry with Sayoko's presence and blames her for his distraction.
With Niou, I don't see room for him to grow into the character he is in 250DS because he acts so much like his high school self already. If you're going to take this story a long way, I hope to learn how his sister affects him (when exactly she left I don't remember, but I'm going to assume that it's sometime in junior high. Or I might be completely wrong, whoops) and how Yagyuu influences his behaviour.
And okay I want to just mention some specific lines that I like:
- Yagyuu smiles and envisions stapling Niou's fingers to his face.
- It begins, he supposes, as a hostage situation
- Kirihara Akaya is a wildfire of noise and brashness, though his blaze is soon tempered by his uncompromised defeat at the hands of the Big Three.
- "Anyone distracted by her merely standing on the sidelines and watching is severly lacking in focus and discipline." Softly, he asks, "Wouldn't you say?"
Alright, I think that's all I have to say. Thanks for this chapter (if it's a chapter, if not, this one-shot). And congratulations on college ahahaha :'D
(wow, this is probably the calmest review I've written heh)
| rnblvr676 8/4/12 . chapter 1
That was one amazing story! Am I the only one who feels that NiouXSayoko are the best couple ever? :)
| asobi seksu 8/4/12 . chapter 1
Who is this Kasey person and where can I send her flowers? It seems lately you've been writing a lot for her, and I'm really grateful for her if that's the reason you're getting all motivated and shit. :'D
I LOVE the (in my imagination, it's totally sexual) tension between Niou and Yagyuu. I'm like, "hell yeah, hell yeah, all right" whenever you mention them together, because it is so funny - Niou wants to see Yagyuu tip over and start shouting, Yagyuu just wants Niou to stfu - and Yagyuu's perception of Niou is just. so. great. Their hate relationship. holyshit. I love it.
And Niou to point out the role of Yukimura just takes the cake. I don't love Niou but I love how you write him and Yukimura. I think it's very hard to love both of those two people if you took out their appeal of being so convoluted and complicated (not to mention I'm the complete opposite of Niou - I'm very open about what I feel). And Sayoko is so cute over here. :D
About the whole Sanada/Yukimura (sexual) tension, I'm sort of ambivalent over this. I know that you think they have a whole rivalry thing, and so do bunches of other people (there was a good oneshot by Blodigealach) but to me, I've always kind of thought that Sanada acknowledges (sp?) that he's going to always be number two to Yuki-kun. Although Sayoko would deffo be something they'd argue over, friends or not. I also like how you've incorporated Yanagi's first-name calling basis - small detail, but speaks volumes of how he approaches people and how not-intense he is about being ahead of others. I didn't think about him having a friendship with Yagyuu, but I can easily imagine them bonding over books.
Actually, the whole Niou copying people reminds me of a NiouOC oneshot I read by doroniasobi - only there he's not as composed as you have him here. If you haven't read "you are a deceptive front over my head" you should. I feel that goes into detail of how Niou doesn't want anybody to know what he thinks as well.
Thanks for the good read! I like it, although I'm confused whether it's a drabble-ish thing or not. I'm looking forward to the next chapter for sure. :p