|Reviews for Endeavour|
| PyroMystic 2/16/13 . chapter 3
Hi! I've just read your story and I'm interested in the summary saying "under the assumption that the Durai Papers were a lie". That's why I read this and I found this really interesting, since I myself somehow think that Durai Papers were just a story made up by Olan/Orlan Durai. Too many hole in that record.
I mean, how did Olan know what happen in Murond, assuming that, as the paper said, no one ever see Ramza and Alma again? No witness survived the battle. And even if they did, Olan never get the chance to meet them.
And not only that, how come Olan knew what's written in Germonik Scriptures? Considering that those who have read the lost book were only Ramza, Simon, and Lucavi. Ramza never told Olan about the scripture (considering it was Alma's live threatened if he exposed the church lies), Simon was killed even before the event Ramza meet Olan, and there's no way Lucavi would tell Olan the lies.
I agree with you not mentioning about Lucavi, Holy Stones, and Germonik Scriptures. For me, those fantasy things ruined the great storyline about Lion War. So, I expect much in this FF :)
Oh and, anyway, I like how you potray Ramza as being quite... say... thoughtful and a bit crafty here. And the way he is angered when Balbanes was killed is something I've never seen on the game. Unlike in the game, where Ramza was potrayed as overly naive and a sometimes reckless...
Anyway, please update soon! And great story! :)
| Grey Muji 8/23/12 . chapter 3
Shorter then the last two. However, it was still good. I'm guessing that battle ended so quickly because of both their Skills and because of the sneak attack...
Hmm keep up the good work!-
| Grey Muji 8/23/12 . chapter 2
I see so if will focus even more about the dark nature of Ivalice's politics, conspiracies, and betrayal...
Hmm still going strong!
| Grey Muji 8/23/12 . chapter 1
This is great! You open up the story with a bang! And love how you are portraying even the valiant Balbanes in a new less favor-above light.
Hmmm... FF:Tactics was a great story with well flushed out characters. Showing us a story from the perspectives of a highly interesting 'what if?'-truly a sight too behold!
Can't wait to see how good the next two are-
| Vegeta the 3rd 8/18/12 . chapter 3
Hmm, interesting. Wiegraf is more or less the same before the possession (which in here doesn't happen, so I suspect he'll still die in the end). Ramza shows more of his true colors by not giving him the benefit of the doubt. And they're going to fight the Death Corps with just the three of them? No other soldier or Hokuten to help?
Well, we might get a full on battle this time, but no need to rush or hurry. Sometimes chapters want themselves to be longer than you expect them to be, especially when trying to get everything in at once. Still, can't wait to see what you'll pull off here.
-Vegeta the 3rd
| Vegeta the 3rd 8/7/12 . chapter 2
Ah, I see, so my hunch was right. Nothing about a 'church conspiracy' and invading demons. Guess that means no second coming of Zodiac Braves then.
Changes here... Balbanes dies of poison again, but after Ramza and Delita graduate and it seems Dycedarg was actually hoodwinked here. Unless Balbanes knew otherwise he at the last second. Though I'm surprised Teta would train as a priest/white mage instead of go to a noble-girl's school.
Then there's the succession crisis... Wiegraf the Death Corps trying to upset the balance further it seems? To what ends I wonder.
I like your little humor towards Ramza. He's statistically balanced, even with a female's growth in magic. Sort of adds more to his inner harem charm, eh? (Agrias, Rafa, Meliadoul, ect.)
Still, from what little planned you have here, it still looks great and will promise a good deal of conflict to come. Since there's no conspiracy the world is basically up for grabs in an otherwise simple fantasy world story. Still, it's quite a big change and I can''t wait to see what else happens.
-Vegeta the 3rd
| Vegeta the 3rd 8/5/12 . chapter 1
Wow... so this would be the role reversal of Delita and Ramza, eh? I almost stutter to think what the young Beoulve would face, but Delita has a bright future for him here. The Durai Papers/main game, I felt, did an interesting job showing there was no clear morality between characters, even Delita. He was very human and acted in a way to try and ensure Ivalice its peace and stability. Hell, both of them did; one as the future king, the other cleaning the underside corruption. Best part was that they stayed friends and didn't try to kill each other because one didn't walk the 'better' path (I'm looking at you, Naruto and Sasuke).
The opening scene was very dynamic, and it's interesting to see Balbanes in an actual negative light concerning the 50 Year War. I'm all for expanding the horizons of FFT's Ivalice, especially the history and back story. I wonder which other characters you'll change slightly on impressions, such as Dycedarg and the shady Vormav. Algus might act more or less the same... or different if he actually respects the perspective of commoners after the Sadalfas reputation plummeted.
I wonder if the Lucavi would be absent in this story since they, in the perspective the game was a 'lie', were made to say "Oh, Ramza WAS a hero too! He was just cleaning up after some shady clergy that were plotting to rule the world!" I almost forgot the possibility the game could have been a lie, especially after just a lengthy talk with my friend about heroes and morals (since Ramza's main reason to fight boils down to being honor bound... at least until Alma was kidnapped halfway near the end).
All and all... I really like the first chapter; it's REALLY well written and kept up like this, it'll be a great story, up there with "The Lion of Ivalice" and "Heart of Gold". I can see potential in this AU rewrite (or restoration of actual history? Mind-screw of the day, check). Can't wait to read more.
-Vegeta the 3rd