I like it thanks for not being vulgar on the sex part.

Update soon! Can't wait for more! :)

good story use some dialouge. a beta reader may be helpful

Great story line, but u should really make your chapters longer. They r really short. Also please edit this, there r alot of grammer and spelling mistakes.

Can you please use better language and draw the reader in more. This is too repetitive. Try reading other fan fictions and taking tips from them. The concept of the story is good but the language is terrible and needs fixing.

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