this very good keep up the work

Sorry about my snappy review. I was playing Summon night swordraft story earlier and was in a bad mood because hordes of enemy's teamed up to kill Pratty and I ran out of healing stuff and spells. Plus I never noticed they were stone till I realized they had cleansing rope around them like shrine statues. I truly love your work and I noticed you said this would be darker than the original but I disagree because I was also reading another SNSS fan-fic and the author killed Pratty in the end and he took two years to update the last chapter. But again I apologize about my snappy review. Keep updating I love this fan-fic. and if you make a SNSS 2 fan-fic. I would appreciate it if you did add yuri in that one between the Devil girl (Dinah) and the female main character (Aera). Love your work. Keep updating I'm supporting you! Plus my personal opinion: nothing with yuri can be bad. I prefer the longer chapters as long as the aren't insanely long.

You are getting much better at your writing :)... There were very few errors that I noticed and none that detracted from the story in the least.

I'm glad I was able to help you decide to continue writing, you are a very talented writer and look forward to what you come up with in the future.

As for your question about chapter length. I personally prefer longer chapters as they allow for more depth and content to a story, however shorter ones like this one are good too when they come frequently.

I look forward to your next chapter

you write good can't wait for a update

"Once" has a unneeded space and I've played the game and if the blue rock your referring to is a Sniper head it is impossible to encounter them that early even a Gunner head is more likely but is still impossible to encounter that early. I've tried.

Yay a new chapter! lol

Not much to say about this one. Considering it is pretty much all taken straight out of the game but that's to be expected at this point in the game. Not really much to make your own side to the story till later.

Anyways, nice chapter and a good early Christmas read too.

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Here's the mistakes I noticed right off the bat.

I was hzst going to meet you!- I'm assuming you meant to say just right there.

"too happy abd the atmosphere" - Again, a minor spelling error on 'and'

"About your little kiss Master… How can you find the time" - This one took me a second to read right. I believe that you forgot to separate the end of Amariss's sentence and the beginning of Pratty's thought. 'About your little kiss." Master... '

"Acutally…" I summarize what - Simple spelling error
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There were a few others that I noticed. Pretty much all of them were simple spelling errors that everybody gets when typing. The only one that was really an issue regarding reading smoothly was the separation between Amariss's and Pratty's statements/thoughts.

All in all, great chapter and I hope you update again soon.

Haha, this is a very good chapter. It flows more smoothly than the first one even. The only mistake on this chapter is that you didn't add an 's' to pyjamas. It's one of the few words that requires the 's' on the end.

I also really enjoyed the look into the average day-to-day activities of our two heroes when they aren't crafting/adventuring/fighting. I look forward to your next chapter.

Haha, this is a very good story. Besides a few minor spelling errors it's a very easy read too. I will also shamelessly admit that I always preferred Sugar as my partner in SNSS. I really hope you continue this story and dont just let it die like so many other stories out there.