|Reviews for ima|
| Flareonwolf 1/11/13 . chapter 1
I had no idea what to expect when I started reading this, but I really, really enjoyed it. It's really like Samara to display such motherly tenderness and discipline to someone she could see as a potential pupil, and who shared a likeliness with her daughter.
I thought the way you portrayed them both was very accurate, and I especially loved Samara's dialogue. It was elegant, as expected, and it was easy to imagine her speaking every word. Same goes for Jack, of course. The conclusions Jack drew seemed very true to her beliefs as well, such as when she deduced that Samara had hidden intentions and only wanted something from her, and then when the peace was broken when she discovered that she reminded her of someone.
It amused me that Jack's peaceful thoughts almost always returned to violence. xD And haha, the line about wanting to strangle Miranda was well-placed and I find it really funny that her thoughts wandered to that. Especially while she was meant to be finding peace. It's interesting to consider that these things would largely make up Jack's general thought processes. Interesting, and not surprising.
I caught a few errors.
- an action so subtle that if Jack had not had her eyes trained on the asari the entire while
I believe "trained" was supposed to be "strained."
- But neither can read the others' mind, and when Samara says "I had hoped to teach you to avoid that fate,"
Firstly, it should be "other's" because to them individually, there is only one other, rather than multiple others. Secondly, there needs to be a comma after "says."
- "Unless you do something that violates the Code, I will treat you as I do any other." Samara states coldly when she senses Jack's killing aura wane.
Just a simple thing; the period after 'other' should be a comma.
- But the moment is a fleeting one and Samara fully disappears up the staircase as a shadow in the currents of the ocean, transient and fleeting.
Something else rather minor: "fleeting" is used twice in this sentence. And "transient" and "fleeting" basically mean the same thing, so perhaps working "transient" into the sentence on its own would be an option.
Anyway, this story was a great read! I thought the conversation played out very well, and the fact that you managed to get Jack actually talking - and meditating, at that - was skillful and well played. I haven't really witnessed interaction between Samara and Jack before, and this was exactly how I imagine it would go. The emptiness that Jack felt at the end was also a great thing to include, and especially the fact that it was familiar and new at the same time-that's a really good way to put it. Another thing I enjoyed was the creative description and metaphors you incorporated, such as how you refer to Samara sometimes. Like this:
Samara only stares back at her, the earlier cold fire now devolving into frost again.
It's very descriptive and gives us a great indication of her emotion and composition through creative expression.
Overall, really nice story. :D Well done. I hope to read more from you!
| Guest 11/19/12 . chapter 1
My goodness, this was an amazing read. The characters are well-written and you've really captured how they act and speak in the games, the dialogue is great, the pacing and arc is perfect and there are some really well-executed metaphors/similes in there. The only recommendation I could give is that Samara sounds just a little bit too formal, a little more like EDI or Legion. Other than that this was a really spectacular piece of writing, great job
| SPACER8000 8/27/12 . chapter 1
Aww, that was so great! Jack reminds her of her daughter...
| WrEn CoRaZoN 8/17/12 . chapter 1
It's incredible that you wrote the ending the way it is, bleak and very bitter-sweet. It smacks of something very believable in the ME2 universe, and something that feels crazily 'Jack' and 'Samara' to boot. You did both of those characters justice, which says a lot. And... your writing was lovely, deep and moving.
This was such a good read, thank you for it. It's an awesome oneshot. :)
| Sinematic 8/14/12 . chapter 1
So amazing, you really captured the essence of both characters. Jack's my favorite :3
| Mouton1 8/12/12 . chapter 1
Magnificent. I'm totally touched by Samara in here, remembering her little daughter. Magnificent.
| Guest 8/12/12 . chapter 1
Read this earlier on the ME Meme, still loving it. Great job with the characterizations, there was a moment of vulnerablity from both sides that was much appreciated -I would love to see this continue and grow, but this is a great standalone.