Great story love Mizore and Jacob.

good story i like it. keep it up

This is Tsukune-Aono503 doing a small review.

You could expand on the idea of New York being a nice place to relax. I noticed the first line was complimenting its air, and that was it. I think the first idea in any chapter should be expanded upon because it kind of messes up the flow of the reading. Other than that, the setting descriptions are good, the internal monologue is good and there's not too much to say because it's, in all honesty, quite short. If its was longer, it would create a heavier and lasting impression.

Hm. If you think about it, You shouldn't have given him monster blood. You already made him powerful enough in the story. As for meeting Mizore's mother however, I'm excited.

Dude, this is awesome. I'm writing something like this at the moment and you've given me some great ideas. 1 thing; Mizore and Jacob should not be so lovey dovey already. Take it slower.

awesome!

Get off your high horse H.B. Horse and yes pun intended. There's not much to nice to say about the story. The Rosario characters that are added ( all the female characters of course) are OOC. The OC's are Mary Sue. It's also no surprise that you're a Tsukune hater as well.

The plot is a rushed mess and just another I have to put myself into the Rosario setting that's been done over and over and not one is worth a damn. To say otherwise will just be pandering to this guy's delusion and not helping one bit. Then again I think you both are two peas in a pod after seeing your two fics.

No! This chapter did not suck.

This may sound nit-picky but I was actually expecting you to weave the information into future chapters rather than address it in an Author's Note. I've already left a proper review, so for now I await your next update.

It keeps getting better and better as expected of jacob3908-san

Aside from Carlos, it's disappointing to see that so few people have logged in to give you their input. The so-called, "constructive criticisms" are actually rather impolite and annoying to read... anyways, I have a review to give, don't I?

I'll start with what I like first, so you don't feel that I'm just attacking you. You should know that I enjoy your writing style as it's both neat and simple, making it easy to read. Details are there in fair amounts, enough to help me visualize what's going on at any given time and you avoid overloading my senses in your descriptions. Unlike a lot of people you actually use italics to convey thought and I honestly can't tell you how much I appreciate that. It's really tiring when the author has a damn key for their thoughts (Brackets, asterisks, colons, etc.).

Jacob himself is likable and his background is unique to say the least, but my real interest has to be in Lee. Lee is just a delightful read despite how simple he is and I thoroughly enjoy scenes that feature him (It'd be nice if he indeed does end up dating Kurumu). Mizore, Kurumu and Yukari feel mostly intact, so no complaints there. I do wonder if Moka and Tsukune might be making an appearance, maybe Kokoa or any other sister. The future holds many possibilities, eh?

Now what I didn't like. (I will not be rude.)

I'm sure you've heard this one before but it has to be said; your chapters are a bit short. I've been reading this and it feels like naught but a moment passes before I'm done with an update. If you don't have the time to prepare longer chapters, okay that's fine, but I'd at least like to know that this is the case. You use, "I" far too often as well.

Second, I can't believe how quick the relationship between Jacob and Mizore grew. One minute it was just a little coffee then it's a great, "I love you and my life is whole." it was hard to read. I was never able to accept that love could grow so fast; it's why I feel that Romeo & Juliet is garbage because it's not buyable in the slightest. I'm not saying that this is garbage and what's done is done but please, try to slow down the romance a little, yeah?

Lastly, Jacob's past and the Black Wardens. I find that it's a little too unbelievable. How old is Jacob? How could he have started this in Highschool and then traveled across the nation recruiting homeless men and the like? How could he have nigh military training and similar weaponry (The Russian Dragunov killed me) without appearing on some kind of law enforcement radar? The whole organization just doesn't sound real, I apologize. I'd appreciate it if you could provide some sort of explanation as to how they pull these amazing feats off (unless I missed it, in which case my bad).

All in all, this story's a fine read. It's cliche, but I can ignore such things with ease because hey, a lot of cliches are about and many stories employ them for some reason or another. It also seemed like it would be a harem for a moment, but both my suspicions and previous reviewers were wrong. I'm going to keep track of this 'fic, so please continue to write it. I look forward to reading more from you.

Sincerely,

Gentlemanbear

Loved it kinda dark as u said but i loved it

I've reached Ch.24! Yay! I will be waiting for the next chapter very impatiently. :D

Well, to kick things off, I'd like to say I'm loving the fact that the girl you chose was Mizore. :3 Anywho, I will admit that upon reading Chapter 1, I was a bit- skeptical about this story. However, I continued on through Chapters 1-6. Now, I can say the story has become very interesting. The part of Kurumu being a '19yr old get drunk party girl' amused me a lot because I can actually picture her being that kind of person. Hehe Also, when Mizii asked Jacob "Why didn't you hit him?", I was surprised. I wasn't expecting that at all.

Now, I've been reading through other reviews and someone had mentioned the story being a harem. I suggest that you don't pay much mind to that person's comment about the 'extra girls'. Sometimes stories take the 'harem path' unintentionally. [I speak from many experiences] And even if they do, so long as people focus on the plot that's hopefully been building up, and stop being a-holes, it wouldn't matter.

Long story-short, I will continue to read this story til the end. Keep up the good work.

Guest Clone, you need to get out more if you think this is the best fanfic ever or someone paid you to say that. Try Here In My Arms by Platinumsabr. This fic isn't even in the same universe as that one.