 Lalita 7/26/11 . chapter 6 Dreamwriter;
I have lost, and then have been blessed to have found. I read this story when it was posted on Ariasink, what seems like years ago now, and after returning to the site after an extended absence it was to my horror that I was unable to find this rare gem of brilliance. Thank the gods that I was able to find this amazing story once again elsewhere on the internet, however I was saddened to find that no new chapters had been updated. Honestly, at least half of the stories that have been noted in the "top" or "hot" stories list on any of the sites I frequent do not come close to the humour, wit and involving writing style that I have found in Operation Mr. Right.
The comment for a critique suggests "to offer a well deserved praise and/or tips for improvement". I am willing and will gladly offer the former, as this is truly well deserved, however cannot find a flaw in the writing style that has been so engaging throughout all 6 chapters, and therefore refuse the latter. The characters are well defined- I love the fact that your story is only from Serena's POV, and it is refreshing to see that the characters are all staying true to their personalities. I cannot tell you how disappointed I have been in others stories to have the spunky heroine abruptly change her character to be a swooning, love-obsessed idiot with no indication of the woman she had been up until the turn of "falling in love". The same often happens with the Darien character, after the author "gets inside his mind" to put in from the male POV, Darien usually becomes a besotted fool which is contrary to the character the story has painted so far. While I know romance novels are not usually sunk in reality, the complete switch of character of the male counterpart is usually so far off the mark from reality that it is almost impossible to enjoy. This being said, it is because your characters have been acting true to themselves with just the right amount of reality in their personalities thrown in, that has made this reading so enjoyable... And, of course, the constant, out loud laughter that your well placed humour has elicited from me.
All in all, I really do urge you to not give up on this story and to continue bravely on- if not for those like me who I'm sure have all expressed their appreciation for your story, then for the peace found at the end of completing a task that you have set for yourself. I am sure you know the feeling I speak of, it is that feeling of completion, and of pride. I know the pressures of everyday life may not be a forgiving mistress, and your life may have changed substantially since starting this story to leave you with almost no time at all to continue with your writing; please know I understand your plight if this is the case. I used to write myself but no longer have time, only just enough is left for me to fit in reading a story here and there. Honestly, just to see this story finished, I considered trying my hand again at the writing game, however I do not believe I could even hope to have the same wit installed into my writing as you do.
My Final comment is this: Please continue this story in any spare moments of peace, as although no one but myself may believe, it is for the good and the hope of mankind. |
 ARABELLA VIOLETTA 1/17/11 . chapter 3"We girls came to the conclusion that Serena and you
would make a splendid couple,"...I wold have died in her place some friend Rei is :-))))))))))))))))
"That's right, since you decided not to follow our advice,
we decided to follow our advice for you. We managed to book two,
very expensive tickets, to see the Nutcracker,"...i find the place for the date pretty funny seeing that Sere wold like to do just that to him :-)))))))
God i love this :-)))))))))))))))) |
 ARABELLA VIOLETTA 1/17/11 . chapter 1"If I ever get you flat on your back, I'm sure you'd hardly consider my assets inadequate." ...oh my god :-))))))))))))
"What a shame, because I can think of so many other things
you could do to me."...he's good he's very good,poor Sere :-)))))
Man they kill me,great job :-)))))))))))) |