|Reviews for Allusion of Suffering|
| Trikkster 1/19/13 . chapter 26
Before I even begin to review this chapter, I want to thank you so so so so so so much! Thank you for mentioning me!
Now. As for the chapter. I couldn’t stop smiling.
First off, I love how Andrew and Mike got their own cell. That way they can stick through it together in prison with each other to depend upon. And I’m happy they’ll get out at the same time. It’ll be hard on them, but together, they’ll make it!
Second off, I feel so sorry for Cody. I really do. Half of me wants to walk up and slap his parents upside the head like, “IN CASE YOU HADN’T NOTICED, HE’S PARTIALLY IN THIS SITUATION BECAUSE OF YOU TWO! AND ESPECIALLY YOU! [I’d say this while turning to the dad, then would turn back to face both of them in general] HONESTLY! MAN AND WOMAN UP AND ADMIT YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES! BE THERE FOR HIM! IT’S THE LEAST THAT YOU CAN DO!” I really hope that somewhere down the road, Cody can get better and heal just a little. I know he won’t ever be really okay, and that the recovery will be rough, but I would like to see him at least heal a little.
Third off, how did I guess? Paul, master manipulating bastard in the outside world, master manipulating bastard in the prison world. Seriously, I want someone to lock that guy up in solitary confinement. Or just a box in the wall. Yeah, that would be nice. No one to control. Only to wallow in his own anger and broken self.
And finally, Drake. I wanted to just huggle him throughout the chapter. It truly was heartwarming that although he wasn’t fully back to his old self, he is getting there. There’s so much to mention, from me smiling as he went to get the cast off, to the emotional intensity I felt as I read him really play his guitar for the first time since Cody broke it and knowing that that was a major step for Drake to be back with his “old friend” again, to the understanding I could feel (at least a little) when he was talking to Josh, to him overcoming his anxiety when he went to Trevor’s, to his courage to show them the song, to him gazing at himself in the mirror in literal and figurative self-reflection, to him letting Meghan know that he knew what she did and that she was grateful, to the epicest moment: HIM SINGING THE SONG! I Literally tried my hardest to get a tune going and sang it along with him. And it struck me right to my core. After reading this entire story and reading and singing those lyrics, I sorta felt an emotional connection to Drake’s character because after going through everything with him, that song just hit every note of the experience, and the thing was, the end of it showed what he was learning about himself: that he was no longer a victim, but a survivor. And he WOULD overcome.
Of course, along with that awesomeness was a realization. He still was haunted by Cody’s words and the memories of the torture that Paul orchestrated, and in my mind, while those negative effects may fade with time, they will never fully go away. That showed a realism that so many stories like this fail to grasp. Because recovery is never a quick process. It is a long and unending road and journey. I also liked the realism in that he was still hurt by the sight of the quarter. Heck, I would be too. And you captured that beautifully. I like how he didn’t full out freak out right there, and how he in his own way found the strength to overcome his emotional turmoil. And how ironic was it that just before that, Josh faced down two others of Drake’s demons for him: the Bartleby Sisters. I remember asking you if they would show back up, and when I read that scene, I smiled a little. They did. I kind of like the idea of Drake and Josh both facing off against Drake’s demons together. It’s almost like the two of them are back to back in a huge arena with the demons wanting to hurt Drake chomping and licking their jaws on all sides. And while Drake can fight some off, if it weren’t for Josh to watch the ones who tried to slide in and take a swipe at him in his vulnerable points, Drake may just go tumbling back to square one. Instead, Josh is there, ready to help when he can, even if Drake doesn’t always know it. And to me, that’s what brothers are for. ) Excellent work!
So, what is my overall feel for the story? AMAZING! MASTERPIECE! MUY BUENO! But then, could I have expected anything else from you? You are an amazing writer and author and your stories capture emotions and realism so well as you weave various complex characters with so much of their own depth and emotion into a story that is so realistic and well written and full of feeling that it leaps off of the page and surrounds the reader to the point where the reader isn’t just reading a bunch of letters and words strung together. Rather, the reader is surrounded by the characters of the story, lives the story with them, falls with them, rises with them, laughs with them, cries with them. You truly take the reader on a journey my friend, and not just on a journey as laid out in the story. Often times, at least with me, you’re able to use your stories to reach inside the soul and pull out something for the reader to examine about themselves. And to me, that is the mark of a good writer. Nay, an artist. No. . . something even more phenomenal than that. . . *snaps fingers as she tries to figure it out. . .* AHA! I GOT IT!
A WONDERFUL MASTER OF WORDS AND ART WHO CREATES BEAUTIFUL WORLDS OF THEIR OWN DESIGN THAT SPEAK TO THE HEART AND SING TO THE SOUL.
(Yes, that is your identifier. You should get that on a business card. ;) )
| Trikkster 1/19/13 . chapter 25
I love how this chapter started, I love how it went throughout, and I love how it ended. First off, I love how Meghan was able to be her little devious self with the police officer. I gotta wonder (snicker) if the police officers at the station just burst out laughing when Paul was probably like, "I'M TELLING YOU! DRAKE PARKER'S LITTLE SISTER AND TWO GUYS SHOWED UP AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME! SHE WAS THE RING LEADER THOUGH! SHE WAS BEHIND THE WHOLE THING! SHE'S THE MASTERMIND! I SWEAR TO GOD!" Haha, they probably thought he finally cracked psychologically. But seriously though, I liked how she fooled everyone, but that Josh knows. :) It seems that in the show, the three (Meghan, Josh, and Drake) kind of handled things without the adults knowing, kind of like the adults were on this oblivious dimension and the three of them were on the actually aware dimension. So I like how currently she and Josh are the only ones who know the truth. Well, aside from Paul and Meghan's friends. . . but they all probably think Paul's lost it currently (the police I mean) and Meghan's friends are safe. Meghan takes good care of her friends, I think, and they protect her. :) That makes me , very happy.
I like how the rest of the chapter showed most of the psychological healing process for Drake. Because honestly, in any healing process(as far as I know), everyone has their ups and downs. It's not always just a process of only getting better. You're going to be tempted to relapse to old coping mechanisms and will have to deal with that temptation, you're going to need to slowly work things out emotionally, and you're going to have to be able to break down and cry when you need to, because trying to ignore the building up emotions within will only end badly. And so the fact that this chapter showed that although Drake is trying to put up a positive front for everyone, this story is still realistic in that he IS (no matter how much he might try to cover it up) going to have his bad days. I also like how Josh informed him that that was okay. :) I know Josh is going to be a good helper in Drake's "rebuilding". And while Drake may not be exactly who he once was in the end of it, I know that he will still be able to live a somewhat normal life. And in that way, he will conquer over Paul in a way that to me trumps what Meghan did to Paul: he's going to show Paul that he can get over this obstacle. And to me, that's the best revenge there is. Please note that while I did use the word "you" in the healing process mini speech I gave earlier, that doesn't mean you specifically. That can mean anyone going through that. I hope I didn't offend you. The fact is, I've had to go through my own healing processes from time to time. So I know how bad it can be.
I love how Walter and Drake interacted in this chapter. As I've stated before, Walter is a very hard character to write, especially in a story this serious. And so, I admire that you have done it so wonderfully. I also choked up a little when he called Walter "dad". That is very epic, because in the show, he never called him "dad". mean, he would reference Walter as his dad, but not literally call him that to his face. So I like that part. I also like Audrey's behavior in this chapter as well.
And I keep reading over the scab and cut analogy at the end of the chapter! LOVE IT! I want to make you something (like a banner, to go with that. okay? to maybe use as this story's id or something?).
| Trikkster 1/8/13 . chapter 24
I will agree, this chapter was incredibly intense, but it was also very good. As all of your chapters are, of course.
I literally winced at parts, and since you rarely show very much of Meghan's darker side in your stories, it was a new experience. But it was also a very goooood one. I think the one time when the pain ht home was when she shattered Paul's left knee. Ironically enough, my left knee is the one that has been giving me trouble. So in a way, I could "feel Paul's pain". And he totally deserved it. I like how Megan has proven to Paul that A-She can play his game, B-He does NOT want her as an opponent, and C-She still has more friends in the end. I liked how each thing she said and each thing he did to Drake was symbolized in some way with what they were doing to him.
Meghan truly is lucky to have two friends who look out for her so much. I can tell that they feel sort of a brotherly protectiveness over her, or a certain loyalty that only true friends can offer. And heh, Darren kind of answered my question from the show. Every time I saw Meghan do some elaborate prank, all I could think was "Where does she get this stuff?" Now, at least in this story's universe, I know. ;)
I also liked how as she broke Paul down physically and mentally, she kind of drew out that animalistic, primal side of him that was purely the monster within, and at the same time, caused that side of him to crumble as well. Overall, an excellent chapter, excellently written. In a way, I feel like Meghan (even if she didn't exactly mean to) not only defended against Paul for Drake, but also defended against Paul for Cody, too. It's almost like, even if she didn't realize it, she was getting back at him for both boys when they couldn't. And to me, I feel like that's another way she exacted her own form of justice on the teen. And although I might not have done it that way, I really think that that fit her character and that Paul DID deserve that.
I also like how she didn't kill him. I'm always like "WHY?!" when people kill the villains. I'm like "Death's too easy! If the victim has to live through the scars, the villain should have to live a life of suffering! Not just die!" So I was very happy how you had her just leave him there, to wallow in his own broken mind, body, soul,and pain. ;)
I can't help but think of Paul as that rich, snotty kid who always got what he wanted, but since he couldn't get exactly what he wanted, he decided to pick on those who he viewed were lesser than him and exert control over them in an attempt to satisfy himself again. Which of course only fuels my dislike for him more. ;)
So, as always, excellent work with the chapter!
| Trikkster 1/8/13 . chapter 23
So, I know I've taken forever to review this chapter, and I formally apologize for that.
But let me say: as with every chapter I've ever read from you, this one was excellent!
I think that while I've always read about the recovery part of each character in each of your stories, this one seemed more. . . real, to me.
I think it's because I have been through surgery recently, so when I was reading the hospital scenes, I could, at least somewhat, relate to what all was going on. I could understand Drake's urge to want to go home, and I could understand the precautions the doctor took. You did a truly excellent job with that. :)
I think another awesome thing about this chapter was Drake and Cody having their "scene" together. I say that because whenever I read your stories, they are so well written that I might as well be there with the characters, or either watching it ona movie screen. So I could literally see the to, the bullied and the bully, so to speak, having their final goodbyes. I love how you wrote Drake walking in there and, after all that has happened, realize that he and Cody are both victims in the situation, not just because of their obvious physical scars, but because of their mental scars as well. But, as Drake said, Cody has literally no one to turn to, while Drake has people ready to surround in him and help him as he needs them to. And despite his denial, I think that by the way he acts, he does know that, and the fact that the tables have turned on him without him really realizing it is so confusing to him, that it's probably the biggest scar of all. Is it wrong to say that I actually feel sorry for him? If it is, I apologize. The thing is, I'm actually reading a book in which the bullied and the bully have been having the abusive relationship between them since like second grade for the bully, and now it's the end of the bully's junior year of highschool, and somehow (I won't spoil it for anyone, so I won't say how), he two end up in the same room in the same psych ward of a hospital. I haven't finished it yet, but since each chapter flips from one's point of view to the other, you can tell as the reader that each has come from troubled backgrounds, each is a victim in some way, and I think that although it definitely gets worse between the two in the book since they're in the same room, it will get better in the end because both will see that they are victims. I'm not saying it'll be all sunflowers and happiness between the two, but I think that they will at the very least bury the hatchet and leave one another in relative peace. But I don't know really. It's not over yet. :D
On another note, I don't know if you've thought about it, but I think (this might be because I, like Drake, pity Cody at least a little, whether the poor boy wants the pity or not) that a "sequel" that follows Cody through his own recovery in a psych ward may be very interesting. Like, not watching him get to be 100% happy, but just to see him becoe content again, to get a certin amount of love and acceptance (eventually) that he never got before, and to have that love and acceptance change him. I know of course it won't be a magical cure, because I think that at first he won't trust that kind of cure and will most likely resist it out of fear of betrayal or trickery, but I really think that might be an interesting tak on it. 's your choice. It was just an idea I had. :)
I like how you also had that moment were Walter gave Drake the guitar. I think that something that you showed in Walter's mind (the no hug thing) and perspective is starkingly clear in the series itself: Drake and Walter are clearly distant with one another. So I think that in a way, Walter handing him the guitar kind of helps pull the man more into the recovery process, rather than leave him out in the cold, unable to be let in.
I think that Drake talking to his friends was also an excellent part of the chapter. So many people heavily underestimate what I call the "brainwashing" bullying can do to a victim. No matter how strong the victim may appear to people, bullying can and will in most cases make them feel powerless and vulnerable and unable to help or protect others. And because of that, the bully, in the victim's mind, seems to gain full control of the victim. And so, to Drake, the rule Cody made of not talking to his friends wasn't just an order from a bully, but a law of life. And I think that the fact that Drake pointed out that it "wasn't allowed" for him to talk to his friends pointed that out beautifully. I also feel that you captured beautifully how while most people looking back on events would clearly do things differently, while in the events will act in ways they normally wouldn't. I think you showed that very well with how EVERYONE looked back on things.
Overall, I like the whole reception Drake got from everyone, I love how he was the bigger person that forgave Cody, I like how Cody forgave him, and most importantly, I love how you, in your own subtle, beautiful way, remind the reader that it's not over. Like Drake pointed out with the guitar instance: he would heal again, but it would take TIME. He's got a long, bumpy road ahead of him. There will be ups and downs in that road. He and his family aren't as close as they once were probably. . . but he is on his way. He and his family have a form of communication again, and that is crucial, and both sides believe the other is trying to build back that relationship and help the other. And over time, Drake will become better. He may never be the exact same as he once was (no one ever is after these experiences, I think. To be the same would be unrealistic), but he will get better nonetheless.
So, overall, great chapter! I shall review the next chapter ASAP!
| Guest 1/1/13 . chapter 26
that story was just beautiful, and i mean it!
I only read certain stories and half the time I just find them so boring.
But this story touched me, it really did, it was fantastic!
You have the patential of a great author!
| Misato92 12/31/12 . chapter 26
This was so good! I'm sad its over haha. God has gifted you with an amazing talent! Please never stop writing your stories!
| ihrtryoma 12/12/12 . chapter 26
Great, I loved it so much but it made me cry.
| juliannarox 12/12/12 . chapter 26
Absolutely brilliant. I enjoyed this story so much. Wasn't looking forward to it ending, but it had to happen at some point.
Can I ask, would you ever create a story where Drake didn't recover or actually died due to or through a traumatic experience?
| Don'tReadMyStories 12/11/12 . chapter 26
This story was amazing. I can't wait to see what other stories you create.
| HappyBird13 12/11/12 . chapter 26
I can't believe the story is over make a new drake and josh fanfic I made one but I don't know how to publish it it has 58 chapters there's bad chapters and a few good ones my story is called anger and love it all started when josh was mad then drake and then later it started good I might PM the story but don't review on the bad parts (also Megan and drake were crying in the story and later josh)
| Guest 11/17/12 . chapter 25
Great chapter! I just wanted to let you know your a great author. I love reading your stories. I get so excited when you update, it makes my day.
| Don'tReadMyStories 11/14/12 . chapter 25
I really like the Drake and Josh relationship. Update soon. Can't wait for the last chapter.
| AnnaMaria 11/14/12 . chapter 25
Don't worry, I like this chapter. It didn't come out bad and I can't wait for the next chapter. Thank you for the update.
| Guest 11/9/12 . chapter 24
| ForeverMichi101 11/9/12 . chapter 24
I find it interesting how this story was posted like two weeks after Drake Bell has said something about Bieber which Beliebers took to heart and wrote nasty things about him. I think this is a really good story for Drake's hater to read because they just have no idea how serious their words really are. They think it's all a good joke when really with all the violence in the world, it's not funny at all. Just wanted to put that out there. I really do love this story, I love the plot and how it says how bullying can go too far and out of hand.
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