|Reviews for Still Holding Out For You|
| thats-a-moray 1/29/13 . chapter 1
I'm very very unfamiliar with SeaQuest... but after reading this story, I felt like I've known these characters forever. Katie and Ben's conversation felt so real. I loved the way Ben frittered around the subject, trying to say what he wanted to say and yet never quite finding the words until the end. And yet he never did say 'I love you,' did he? Katie figured it out on her own. That says a lot about their relationship.
The opening paragraph immediately got me into the story. You hit on some really basic human emotions: loss, moving on, fear of change. I also enjoyed Ben's interactions with Tim. Even though it was only a small part of the story, I felt it said a lot about him.
The way that Katie and Ben handle their changing situations is very mature. I like how Katie is thinking about the money whereas Ben is thinking about his emotional needs, as this seems to be a bit of a reversal from stereotypical gender roles. I suppose Katie is meant to be your typical career driven woman, but her reason for wanting to join the Clinton ("I don't even know how to turn that kind of money down") was so frank that it rang true and I never made the connection with that old trope until now. Great story.
| Verran 10/1/12 . chapter 1
Beautifully, and sensitvely written. Not knowing these characters, when I got down to the word 'divorced', it was 'whoaaah'. That's a twist. Now the story has taken on a whole new tone. And it worked for me, for that reason alone, where it probably worked for fans of the series on a different level.
I know - and can relate to that sad, empty feeling after having worked and lived together with a group of colleagues for a period of time and reaching that point where everyone parts ways. You conveyed that feeling well, everyone ready to follow their new paths - some more certain than others, but nobody really wanting it to end.
An extraordinary twist in a realistic situation, with an open ended conclusion. Thanks for the read.
| SkywardDiamond 9/25/12 . chapter 1
I saw this and had to check it out.
Awe, I feel bad for Ben :( He got the shaft, didn't he? As soon as he mentioned spending the evening with her she shot him down. Not that her reasons aren't valid. Sounds like he must've said some really hurtful things.
I'm sure that reading the rest of the story that accompanies this scene would be good, but this is still a nice oneshot. The writing flows nicely, the dialogue is natural, and the characters are very cute. Awe :p But I still feel bad for Ben.
I'm glad at the end they're still gonna have dinner together. That *almost* makes me feel not so bad. :p
| MalkieriJester 9/2/12 . chapter 1
Wish I knew the fandom...can't say much about the characters, because I don't know them. The dialogue is good, it's realistic and is framed well by the character perspectives.
at the beginning it should read: "...was saying goodbye to one another." or "...was saying their goodbyes to one another."
| IrishPanther 8/27/12 . chapter 1
Such a sweet one-shot you've written. I'm not familiar with the SeaQuest series, but I'm guessing that Ben and Katie were lovers, then divorced. And I'm guessing that this story was written barring in mind that everyone was leaving the ship after working for a year.
I thought that it was sweet what Ben was stating to Katie, how the feeling is still there; but I also agree with Katie as she stated that she doesn't want to put her life on hold and that had more options out there; but I was glad to see that the two agreed to dinner and will 'play the rest by ear.'
No grammatical errors were founded, which makes this read much better seeing as you proofread your own fic before posting. Nice job with this story, as I was hooked on it from beginning to end! :)
| ShadedRogue 8/26/12 . chapter 1
Not knowing the characters at all, I still think you've managed to describe their characterization to the reader very well, as well as their relationship with each other. I like that Katie takes Ben's feelings for her seriously, but isn't flabbergasted enough by it that she still applies some sort of rationalization for why it didn't work out between them in the first place.
It was a very interesting look into the relationship between the two characters. I enjoyed it a lot!
| The Death Frisbee 8/24/12 . chapter 1
Characterization is good - I get a sense of both of them, and they are behaving like mature adults instead of giggly teenagers, which is always a concern I have in relationship/romance fics. Length was appropriate too; the conversation kept me interested throughout.
Not knowing the characters, I think you've done justice to what you've portrayed as a fractious but not destructive relationship, and I was interested in how they might resolve their issues. Just a few points of critique:
Katie chuckled softly. Then she became serious./Katie gave him a confused look - show; don't tell
When Ben draws a blank, I'd encourage you to describe that more. Not knowing the characters... you know what I'm going to say from there. However, given that the fic is focusing on a conversation between the two, you should probably take the time to expand on the reactions a bit at points where you can.
Hope this helps!
He watched as everyone said goodbyes to each other: tense shift - use simple past, not past progressive
started at it for a moment - do you mean 'stared'?
Ben watched as he walked away - he in this sentence implies Ben. You mean Tim. Rephrase.
"Thanks, but no thanks," Ben stopped her. - nothing grammatically wrong here, but I think this would be a bit more sudden, which is the effect you want, if you switch it around: 'Ben stopped her. "Thanks, but no thanks." ' - because you want to say first that he's cutting her off, and how he's cutting her off is less important.
Ben began - doesn't work for me as a dialogue tag, because he's interrupting himself in the second part, and thus indeed completing the statement
| MadameGiry25 8/24/12 . chapter 1
You write Ben and Katie quite well, though I know what you mean about Nathan and Kristin being where it's at for this fandom. ( :
This was a really sweet snapshot of their relationship and I really enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the fact that Katie stuck to her guns and truly believed that the relationship couldn't be repaired as quickly as Ben seemed to think. Very in character!
This was a lovely read. Well done, darling!
| Menki Vivid 8/23/12 . chapter 1
This one-shot starts off a bit like an ending, wrapping up all of the loose ends where friends say they'll keep in touch when they don't and the love runs dry. However, though this one-shot feels like an ending it is really a beginning as Ben and Kate seem to gradually talk about their feelings to each other.
It didn't come too fast nor slow as the real center of the one-shot came out. What about Ben and Katie? It's more than likely that from what this story hints they have quietly gotten to understand each other better and perhaps it was the ending of SeaQuest that led to them to act on their resolved feelings. Even so, I could understand where two were coming from without having to desperately look up all of this fandom's info to get the what's what.
It's was a nice story that could easy be read and get its point across quite well.
| krazieneko 8/23/12 . chapter 1
Yay! Ben and Katie! They didn't get together but it's hinting. So yeah I want a part 2! Please and thank you!
| JaceSol 8/23/12 . chapter 1
Truthfully, I've never heard of seaQuest, but I really liked this fic. The dialogue was very believable, and the fic had a nice pace to it. Overall, great job!
| Guest 8/23/12 . chapter 1
"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been." J. G. Whittier
Divorced couples getting back together again is usually a bad idea, but with Ben and Katie, you can't help but wonder ... maybe, just maybe ...