Amazing story u need to help me write

Rubbish hated all of that

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?! PLEASE TELL ME THIS WAS A FUCKING TROLL ATTEMPT, IF IT WAS IT'S PRETTY FUCKING SUCCESSFUL! You sick fuck! How could you write stupid ass drivel like this?! Do you have any idea the scars physical abuse leaves behind?! I don't give a fuck if the abuser feels sorry for what he did! The fact remains that he still did it! he fucking beat her until her back was fucking raw! WHAT. IN. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. WERE YOU THINKING WRITING THIS?! 'derp, oh hey I know that you beat my back raw, treated me like a piece of meat, and hit me when you felt like it, but I still love you regardless' You know what that sounds like? That sounds like an abuse victim, who doesn't know what the fuck he/she are talking about! Are you also treating Jack like he was the insane one? That's fucking rich! So in Rose's mind, Jack's only flaw was that he was too fucking nice?! Stupid ass teenagers and thinking they know what they want... I can't believe I wasted time reading this story, I'm physically ill as I type right now after reading the last chapters, and I have tears of rage coming down my face, not fucking lying or kidding around, this was disgusting, and the images of text from this garbage have made me angry beyond measure, congratulations asshole! You have fucking ruined my day!

I am literally in tears of rage right now, I'm not fucking joking, please tell me this is just a severe case of Stockholm syndrome and you haven't actually considered this to be an acceptable couple.

... dafuq? That's all I can really say... First off I'm confused as to why you're writing this in a way that we should feel sorry for the sadist that is Roger, the typical villain who's all alone, duh! You're all alone because you're a psychopath, another thing is Rose must be the most fucked up bitch I've ever seen, what? Did she get turned on when Roger was beating the fuck out of her? Sounds like to me a big case of Stockholm syndrome...

Brilliant cliffhanger god I can just see her expression right now. Oh the awkwardness of it all. Keep up the good work and I just love this story I'm always checking for a new chapter hehe I even got my friends to read it and they like it too. Well done

A good chapter as always :D in response to your question on the next chapter: how about roger goes off into the forest after having an argument with rose to stop himself from hurting her and accidentally bumps into jack or something like that

Lol I absolutely love this story! I don't know who to feel sorry for I'd proberly say Jack because he's heartbroken plus I just love Jack. Your doing really well at this! Keep going

i loved the earlier chapters, i dont like this love triangle...

im confused

This is such a good story I mean I don't usually like stories with own characters added in to it but I really love this one but I only have one problem: jack has red hair not blonde but other then that it's great we'll done I can't wait for the next chapter

Gah im not sure who i want rose to be with! Actually i do no cuz rodger kidnapped her and then hurt her and cut off her hair plus of corse rose has to end up with jack- rose and jack should finally get their happy ending lol

Great story, but please make Ralph eviler and the story more romantic (i think you can and should be able to make this story rated T) on another note, i really wanted to write a story similar to this but it would obviously not have same story but just the concept of a "lady of the flies" (again i wouldnt use that title) and would that be ok with you? Thanks

You have a real talent with the way you write. Very descriptive and careful word choice. I enjoyed the way you wrote Jack very Jack Merridew with his anger and outbursts. Roger is also written nicely maybe a little less intimidating since Jack and Rose both "fought" him without a scratch to show for it. But I'm sure you have a more character appropriate plan to expose Roger's evil side. Rose seems lovely although I have to caution that she seems a bit too perfect. She's beautiful (has makeup), smart, funny, and can hunt better than Jack. Props for not being able to swim though that's a quirky flaw that I found cute and enduring. But maybe find something else that makes her more human and relatable. As for the other minor characters I appreciate the integrity you gave Simon's death because he is a major player in the Lord of the Flies. Piggy and Ralph seem a lot less in the limelight which is fine because I would rather focus on Jack anyway. ;P Altogether this story has the potential to be great. I am awaiting the next chapter :)

could you make the chapters a littleee bit longer? i really love this story :)