| Reviews for Wait for Me |
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Aylor 3/4/13 . chapter 1While I don't normally leave reviews, (my lack of literary talent prevents my from coming up with constructive criticism beyond 'I liked it') after reading LEDlorien7's review I decided to suggest "Outlined by a dim light a great cliff that was once a tower loomed ahead of them" or "A dim light outlined a great cliff that was once a tower that loomed ahead of them" as other alternatives that retain both the dim light and the looming. The first could probably use a comma somewhere. Having thought about this sentence for a while I'd fiddle with it quite a lot more but that probably wouldn't fit the style of the rest of the piece so I'll only say that I'm hoping for more. |
utenafangirl 9/16/12 . chapter 1its quite a bit of a long time since I came back to check whats new in the Utena fic world. Glad to see something heh and I do hope for more. This does take a step to something different, wonder what will happen |
LEDlorien7 9/14/12 . chapter 1Well, this is definitely interesting. It has a lot of potential. Because of that, I have a quick edit to offer. "A dim light outlined a great cliff that was once a tower loomed ahead of them" This is kind of confusing. If it was "A dim light outlined a great cliff that was once a tower." It would be a complete sentence that works. Or it could be, "A great cliff that was once a tower loomed ahead of them." But combining the two makes it confusing. I hope to see more of this soon! _ |
gorgeousshutin 9/8/12 . chapter 1Thank you for realistically addressing how Utena would've been badly hurt by the Swords of Hate unlike so many others. Looking forward to more :) |
James Birdsong 9/6/12 . chapter 1 Oh this is great. Well written too. Quite a good fic. |
Somberkers 9/6/12 . chapter 1please, MORE! |
Em O'Gilt 9/5/12 . chapter 1Beautiful writing, as always. Loved this so much. |