Reviews for Be Still My Heart

Reviews For: Be Still My Heart - Reviews: Page 1 of 45

RoseTornado 2008-04-30 ch 16,	abuseAs I had said in my previous review: Not just the battle scene -- this entire chapter feels really glossed over, almost inarticulate, if you know what I mean. It's kind of like: Kenshin receives challenge, then he rushes to the rendezvous point with godlike speed. Never mind the fight, Jin'eh is dead. Hiko and Saitou usher Kenshin and Kaoru into their office without much of a fuss, Saitou hardly says anything about Jin'eh's murder, we don't know anything about the conversation that had transpired in the office BEFORE Kaoru was escorted out of there by Hiko, and that's pretty much it. It's like, instead of getting a continuous story, we're getting snapshots. Not to be mean or harsh or anything, but allow me be frank: your description of the scenes, and the characters' psyche, and the characters' feelings need some serious improvement. I mean, you're pretty good at portraying all the angsty feelings of romance, but it almost feels like you don't even bother to portray anything else about the characters or the scenes/plot. It feels a lot like: Angst, angst, romance, angst, romance, and fast forward through everything else. Seriously, as audience, I feel like I'm watching a movie that fast forwards through basically everything but the romance. And while it's nice to read waff (Really, I like lovey dovey stuff) I still think your story needs a stronger plot for it to work. And that means character development, scene development, and better portrayal. Let me know if you need any help.
RoseTornado 2008-04-30 ch 15,	abuseAs I have said before, I really like the sweet, gentle, lovey dovey romance you have in this fic, but a lot of your characters need to be developed more for the plot to be good. Jin'eh, for example, is only shown twice in your fic to be some sadistic, almost psychopathic, and seemingly-adolescent weirdo who's just bent on challenging Kenshin, his so-called rival. We don't know anything else about Jin'eh. You have given him no character development whatsoever except for a maniacal laugh here and some brief, vague, unflattering descriptions there. A truly good plot would be complicated enough to draw the audience in and keep them hooked, yet clear enough for the audience to understand. I think you need to develop your characters a bit more, explore their inner thoughts, backgrounds, and motives a bit more, share this with the audience, and the plot will follow naturally. Good luck!
RoseTornado 2008-04-30 ch 13,	abuseLOL, now I see where the inspiration for your "waffy" stories come from! I congratulate you on your wonderful relationship! ~sighs... You're very lucky to have found someone who makes you feel so happy and complete. Speaking of which, I really like how in your fic, you mentioned that Kenshin and Kaoru had been lonely, but never realized that loneliness until they found each other. That's beautiful.
RoseTornado 2008-04-30 ch 7,	abuseYou know, you really need to include a Japanese-to-English glossary at the bottom of every chapter, to explain all those Japanese words you use so often in this fic. Most of the time, I can't even guess what those words mean. So please include a glossary the next time! =P
RoseTornado 2008-04-30 ch 6,	abuseWhat is this "waff" you keep referring to?
RoseTornado 2008-04-30 ch 5,	abuseHaha, this fic is cute. Kenshin is so nice and understanding here. And they all seem like children: Kenshin, Kaoru, and Sano. How old are they supposed to be in this fic?? Kaoru seems like a lovesick puppy sometimes, and Sano just seems really out of character -- unless this is supposed to be a really young (13 year old?) Sano who hasn't quite developed into his macho, stoic adult self yet... Well, cute fic anyway!
RoseTornado 2008-04-30 ch 4,	abuseNice fic! But I hope you know, the links on the bottom of the page don't work. All the underlined "Back to the previous chap...", "On to the next chap...", etc., etc., don't show up as links. Just warning you...
monica 2008-02-25 ch 16, anon.	abuseI love this story. Please update your cliffhanger is killing me. pout
poems2songs 2007-10-12 ch 16,	abuseinteresting story... really like it... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
Peach 2007-08-09 ch 16, anon.	abuseWow, I'm glad to have read more on this story. The last time I checked on this, there were still a few chapters written. It's great, it's exciting, and I had fun reading it. That was a cliffhanger there! Hope you update soon!
NuttyNatalie 2007-03-22 ch 16,	abuseupdate soon
Froogle 2007-02-13 ch 8, anon.	abuseVery nice ending! It gave a fuzzy, warm feeling inside. However, it would be nice if you had shown us more of the interaction between Kenshin and Kaoru during that hiragana teaching time.
Froogle 2007-02-12 ch 7, anon.	abuseHaha, Kaoru is so blunt but still Kaoru at the same time XD "It sucks being alone, ne?"
Froogle 2007-02-12 ch 2, anon.	abuseThis reminds me of Tamora Pierce's works, and it just makes me smile so much. I hope Kaoru can become strong enough to beat the crap out of Shishio!
Froogle 2007-02-12 ch 1, anon.	abuseI really admire how you made Kaoru really strong; in so many fics have I read on how she was too weak. There were too many "almost-had-been" rapes concerning Kaoru because she was too weak. Anyway, I have a feeling that this fic will be different and unique =)

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