Of couse, Dylan would show up. xD I completely forgot that he was supposed to show up then, but I love how this mimics The Iron King. :D

I just wanted to say that I love how this chapter imitates The Iron King. :D Ash! Or Dylan! :D I'm guessing Patch will 'be' Puck? :)

Oooooo cliffhanger! Love it!

Ahh, sorry for taking so long to respond! I don't have much time right now, but I love the rewrite! The writing has gotten better and I love this world so far! :) Looking forward to continuing it soon! :D

Love the length! Good cliffhanger, and I LOVED the dance scene

"Following a genetically enhanced gray cat in the dark of night is a real pain in the, well, you know."
Omigosh so funny I almost peed myself:) I LOVE your style of writing:D

Haha I love the cat! Another great chApter!

This is a great chapter! I can't wait to find out what happens in the woods!

Can't wait to see what's in the chest! Great story!

Ohh! Is that the replacement for the oger in the actual book? I like this. It's a twist of the book but fun...(:

Update!Update!Update!Update!Update!Update!Update!U pdate!Update!Update!Update!Update!Update!Update!Up date!Update!Update!Update!Update!Update!Update!thi s is really freaking good story!

I love it so far! The characters are great. I don't get the thing how it's always like 'we did this' and 'we said that', though. it seems like the two are always in perfect synchronization (no offense intended). I love the way you can really feel the mood. ブラボー！ブラボー！Burabō!
SumiOmen

The beginning seems very interesting. I have only read the Hunger Games out of the three but I can tell you are a great writer already!

Liked your writing style so far! Really creative world you have! What I suggest is not to press the 'enter' bar in every one or two lines. I kind of felt like I was reading a poem when that happened. Also, you should put this in the crossover section. All you have to do is go to "managing stories" and find the "crossover" button within your story setup. Maybe you shouldn't put this in The Hunger Games. I was thinking you put this in Anthem and the Iron Fey (I love the Iron Fey :D ) crossover rather than the Hunger Games. The Hunger Games didn't create the dystopian genre so it's a free genre, really. Anyways, since I'm kind of a critic, I'll point out a few negatives that caught my attention. (Oh no! :( )

Maybe work on description of the setting a little more. I personally hate this because I think: who cares about what the setting looks like? I already have it all in my head! But you need to show the reader the setting instead of just saying "this is the kitchen" or "this is the village" (which is what I do all the time). Personally, I find making good description hard because my vocabulary is small and I suck at metaphors and just description in general.

Other than that, I would say the prologue in the very beginning with her letter felt unneeded because we then find out that the main character DOES survive whatever ordeal comes which dampens the mood of any life-threatening scenes for the main character.

Anyways, that's it! Keep on writing! :)

Very intriguing! Like this a lot. Keep it up!