You show a lot of raw potential as an author. Certainly this isn't as bad as some of the stuff I've seen, but the punctuation needs work (New paragraph when someone new starts speaking) and you should familiarise yourself with military tactics, units and equipment in RL and not just from CoD. (The Russian's don't carry G-36 rifles, those are a German weapons designed and made by H&K. The Russian army carry AK-74's and AN-94's)

Bad points aside, against the odds, it's a fairly decent piece and with a little more practise and work, I could see you becoming pretty good, so keep writing

Get better, don't worry. Just get better *hugs*

Get Well Soon! And just take it easy! Keep Updating and again Get Well Soon!

Well, good chapter!

Finally it is up :D

Epic story :D

Awesome :3

I always thought a kid with a gun was a thug, but the way you portrayed them is magnificent, please add more

Great, but i am seeing some issues in your tenses. Go back over it and read it maybe (Not telling you that you have to of course!) OTherwise, this is great. Good despcriptions, love the word choice that you use. In addition, the way that you did the 'CRACK!" was really great. It added some additional stuff for you to chew on, and made it almost seem like you were hearing the sound. The way you presented it is rarely used and is great for the story. Also, your chapter names are pretty sweet. I like it. Off to the next chatper!

Heya Jay :) I hadn't put you on subscription, so when I surfed through the COD fandom for the first time in a month, I saw this story! I was so excited and started reading right away. So, this is OBVIOUSLY a short chapter, but i am sure you wanted to see response. So here it is.
Really great, believe it or not, you ARE a GREAT writer. This is a great little story so far, and the idea sounds pretty good so far. The summary really catches your attention, great job on that.
I applaud you for the sentence "Symphony of joints popping." Great. I can relate -.-" Whenever i move its like someone is stepping on bubble wrap, but its just my joints. :) I am moving onto the next chapter right now.

hmm... well, good fanfic overall but write more. Just keep trying and good chapter
Keep updating

Brilliant. Seems a little rushed though but otherwise continue this!