I really hope you decided to finish this. It's very good, better than anything I could do, and I like the pacing. It's just right :) I understand if you're busy, but this is just too good to drop completely.

So awesome! Cant wait to see what happens! XD

This is a well thought out Portal fic! I would love to see more! :)

Also, I would love to see some slight Chelly, but it's your choice, so no worries. XD

I LOVE this fanfiction! The best thing about it is (in my opinion) that its believable. The plot feels realistic in terms of the Portal universe. Not only that but the characters seem to be excatly like the ones in the games. Seriously those guys at Valve should hire you! :D

I am enjoying this. I always enjoy seeing some of Cave's crazy and it's got to be interesting for Chell to find out that Wheatley was in fact a real person at some point, let alone one who was at above-average competency at his work and may have achieved more had his boss not been insane.

It's well-written and generally not infected with inappropriate language (by which I don't mean swearing) I mean the terminology and manner of speaking is appropriate.

I'll be keeping an eye on this one...

WTF when did Chapter 3 happen? I swear I didn't get a message about it! But let's cut to the chase and review this sucker.

I wasn't expecting Rick to show up, and now I'm only wondering if dear SPAAAAAAAAAACE and slightly-less-dear Fact are going to show up (in my head-canon they are called Spencer and Craig, if that's of any interest to you at all, which it probably isn't). Rick is my 2nd favourite core next to Wheatley, actually, just because of his EXPLOSIVE personality and OUTRAGEOUS lines. Also, how familiar are you with Terry Prattchet's Discworld? Because the Cave and Wheatley scenes (and partially the Rick and Wheatley ones too) were reminding me mighty heavily of some of those books (and believe me, that's practically the highest praise I can give, Discworld is my favourite book series).

One last thing I'm going to tell you about is that pre-Portal stories always pull my heartstrings because I KNOW that all these characters that have been written are either going to end up stuck in a machine, dead or half-crazy, and there's not much chance for a happy ending. You've managed to get around that in a way that I never thought of even though it's so basic. So 'grats for that.

Also, I lied, this is the last thing. Rick mentioned a person called Randy at some point within the past two chapters. The correct response from Wheatley would probably have been going red, 'cause that word has...a different meaning in Britain. Yes. A different meaning. *awkward cough*

Every time. Every. Single. Time. You are so good at writing, seriously. Keep going. I'm loving this so much. And you're Wheatley... just ERMAHGERD. *A* Take your time with the updates. Quality over quantity, my friend. :) And of course, you're welcome. You deserve it.

This was really great! I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.

Hell yes! This FanFiction is fantastic! write more! Write Faster!
Bloody Brilliant...

This is so beautifully written...everything is perfect...your Chell is perfect...your Wheatley is perfect... even your Rick is perfect... Man alive! You are so fluent in speaking Wheatley. I envy you so much.

Oh. My. Gosh. I'm hooked already. Compared to your's, my Portal fic's got a LOOOOT to improve on. . Curse Portal and its compelling stories, not letting me concentrate on my homework. X)

So Wheatley got promoted to Financial Advisor? No wonder Aperture went bust!

But anyway, I have a horrible feeling about what Chell is going to find out here. The tracking...whatsit was a good idea, though; I was thinking that you'd do something less technical and more paperwork based. This took a load off of my estimated chapter count (I'm guessing you're planning on making this fairly long - I can't exactly go by your track record since you don't have one yet!), meaning that we can get to the good stuff faster. Hehehe.

Lastly, no need to churn out chapters in a rush! The ideal waiting time if you're a quick writer or if you have the whole thing planned out is about 3 or 4 days, but if you're still in the process of writing this thing I'd suggest about a week. Oh, and since you're new, did you know you can moderate guest reviews? Only I noticed a noob below this review here that you chould/should probably get rid of using the Moderate Reviews tab under Reviews on your settings. Anyway, shorter review this time, all of my others will probably be pretty short. Now that's done, see you next chapter!

Ooh, looking good, I like the security thing, please update soon!

I am hooked. That's the first thing I'm going to say. This story leapt from my screen, words easily turned themselves into pictures and, for me, this was like watching the pilot episode of a TV show. Your words seem to be perfectly chosen and have a lovely flow to them, such that I can only dream of.

So what made this first chapter so good? The first thing you did right was establish exACTLY what's happened to Chell since she left Aperture, and which kind of Chell your Chell is (the mute stoic kind - one of my favourites) and the world she now lives in. You portrayed her very realistically - not broken but not completely perfect either. I'm not even going to hope that the same strong characterization shows through with Wheatley and any other personality constructs, I KNOW that they will. I also liked your backstory for human!Wheatley, it's a nice sort of mid-point between everyone else's theories on that particular aspect.

As for improvement suggestions...er, well, I don't really have any right now. Perhaps the ending was a little bit rushed, but I completely understand your need to get the story going quickly and not bore us with all this not-plot stuff (not that I was bored, quite the opposite), a lot of fics start out like that and every other chapter is completely fine. I shall presume yours is one of those kinds of fics, so don't angst about it too much. Asides from that, the only other criticism I have is that you're never going to be able to update fast enough, because I'll want to read a lot of this kind of story. A lot.

So the tl;dr of it is: Beautiful characterization, settings, description and originality. Not much to improve on right now since you're doing pretty well. It's been a while since I found a new Portal fic of a genuinely high standard, and since one or two of the high-standard fics I read are drawing to an end, I have a feeling this fic will fill the gap on my alert list quite nicely ;) Can't wait for Chapter 2!

This looks interesting.