Okay, maybe it's just be, but, if I found out I was going on a world tour, I would be excited, ecstatic, jumping for joy, you know? Cam and Mary Anne don't sound the least bit excited. You need to work on adding emotion and stop using said all the time.

This is a good beginning but as usual some errors but I'm going to let you know later on what they are so you can correct them. I like this story so far. Can't wait for more chapters.