Well, it was nice. I think the language is honestly too strong to keep a K rating. I would also encourage you to invest in a spell-check. Also, some writing tips I would give would be to re-read this story in a few months and notice if there are any things you would make corrections to. After all, the more you write the better you become. It's always a good thing to correct work, even if it's completed. I would also encourage you to read aloud and record pauses in your speech with commas and other types of grammatical works. Reading it aloud can really be a benefit until you get an instinct for things.

I also don't think it's really necessary to break up the story into two separate fictions. If the story isn't done, it's not done. It would be fine if it's a sequel to a finished story arc, but if you're going to be continuing the story elsewhere, I don't understand the point.

Still, it was quite a good go for your first fanfic, so congratulations! Here's to writing more and improving your work! It's nice to see someone on the site willing to get critique.

*facepalm* They are a bunch of idiots.

And of course they are two idiots..

So they are both surrounded by perverts.

Tai... you needs some new friends, ones that aren't a bunch of perverts.

love the story :) great job

I think Mimi needs a smack to the head, Tai needs a kick in the ass and Sora needs a boot to the vagina.

Great! I love it! But I dont like Sora! And Taichi is so stupid ): I hope everything is gonna been okey between Mimi and Taichi. See you in the next story! 3

Next, Next, Next, Next! \o/ Love this chapter, like always, I will waiting for the next! :D

Excellent chapter! I was surprised with the fact that Sora maybe love Taichi, I didnt expect that. I really like this chapter, so I'm waiting for the next cap! So please updated soon

Great! Like always I love this chapter!

one word: AMAZING!

Oh Thanks for the chapter, it really was funny, I cant wait for the date!

Wanna more!

I like this couple! Are so cute! Please continue updating!