Very clever indeed. My only thought / suggestion would be that since it is a 'solilquy', you could eliminate the quotes for each line and use only a beginning and end quote for the entire speech. I think it would look more like one man speaking, but read just as well. You produce such fun pieces!

I thought that this was a well-written story based on a very clever premise. I especially liked it each time that Mark "missed" the turn.