Your use of language is quite pretty.

Wow! A very impressive look into the mind of ever-conflicted Willow, with tremendously vivid imagery. You really captured her at her most achingly vulnerable. I also loved your idea of Buffy offering her comfort in this way- an inventive plot twist, but quite in character. And a nicely ironic title, too!

Write some more, I'll read 'em!

Wow, just wow. Amazing one-shot, so involving that it made me forget the parings warning along the way; to then bring back reality with such a sad punch was an incredibly well played end that made the whole story even more intense.
I'm going to say, great writing!