|Reviews for Pandemonium|
| Ryu Katsumi 2/24/13 . chapter 15
Yes yes yes, more Alex x Dana moments Good luck fighting Pariah Alex and Dana
| bloody raptor 2/20/13 . chapter 15
| bloody raptor 1/22/13 . chapter 14
I can hardly wait.
| Numbuh six-sixtysix 1/22/13 . chapter 8
No. I'm sorry, but the accumulated mass of grammatical errors and disagreeable narrative decisions is too much.
Firstly - introducing Hazelle was a mistake. Her original purpose, as a captive of GenTek, is one better assigned to a single-scene experiment, preferably one not as powerful as the main cast, and who we would never see again. Keeping her around does not advance the plot, or provide any narrative advantages.
Secondly - Heller. Honestly, I think I just don't like him.
Thirdly - bringing in Pariah. How the hell did he know Mercer had killed his mother when they had been seperated at his birth? And how have Blackwatch kept him hidden for fifty-odd years if he can massacre their men at will?
Next, the Hive Mind. Whilst it makes sense for Alex to be able to connect to it, seeing as how he (as Zeus) created this one, you speak of it as though it is continuous from the Hive Mind of the first outbreak of the 'Mercer Virus'. No - Greene was the cucial node within that - without her, and without intervention from Mercer (as the only other person capable of controlling the virus, the 'Hive Mind' would have collapsed.
Finally, what was the last straw for me - you speak of them dying of 'cell mitosis'.
As I recall, 'mitosis' is the process of cell reproduction. Possibly, you meant 'cellular necrosis', which is what BloodTox was supposed to do to Alex.
| Numbuh six-sixtysix 1/22/13 . chapter 5
Okay, to clarify, a Runner is a human enhanced by the virus, and who can control the virus, eg. Greene. A Prototype is a person where some sort of weirdness has happened with the virus, enabling them to shift their biomass at will, and who can also evolve as necessary, eg. Mercer and Heller. An Evolved is effectively a weaker, less versatile Prototype, that cannot evolve through the Consumption of other beings.
Infected is a term referring to any organism (and possibly some buildings), that is being used as a host for the virus. It is not applicable to either Alex or Zeus, due them _being_ the virus, and probably doesn't apply to Heller, Dana, or any Evolved.
Sorry, it's just I am noticing a loittle ambiguity in your use of these terms, and it is really only bugging me because otherwise this is a really good story.
| Numbuh six-sixtysix 1/22/13 . chapter 4
Hmmm. I think I prefer it when the people we're supposed to be liking aren't quite so gung-ho about _eating people_.
Sure, they're no longer human, but they should still _think_ like humans. And that should mean they try to _avoid_ consuming random people. Sure, nom away on soldiers all you like, and researchers at GenTek are pretty much fair game too. But eating random civilians? Only if you're desperate.
| Numbuh six-sixtysix 1/22/13 . chapter 3
Wait, wait, wait. _What_ exactly, is Dana? Because you say she's another Runner with Alex, but Alex _isn't_ a Runner. Runners are humans infected with a strain of the virus, and, so far, all of them have been female. So, it's possible that she is a Runner, but then again, the Runner we encounter in the first game (Greene), despite being able to do really freaky things with infected tissue, and possessing vastly superior attributes when compared to a regular human, _is not capable of shifting herself_. That is, she is _not_ composed of malleable biomass.
So, if Dana is now composed of malleable biomass, we must conclude that she isn't just another Runner, but is, in fact, another Prototype, similar to Alex, Zeus, and, officially (I refuse to accept Prototype 2 as canon), Heller.
So, so far, we have three Prototypes running around NYZ, two with endgame level abilities, and one newbie. I wonder how you're going to get her to evolve.
| bloody raptor 1/15/13 . chapter 13
Not to worry. Its great to know your still writing. By the way I know how you feel.
| bloody raptor 1/3/13 . chapter 12
I wounder what will happen next.
| angel.nieves.1656 12/24/12 . chapter 4
Haha really good LoL I like how you made his sister infected also and how she is coping with it and having to "Not be human" anymore. Its pretty funny LoL.
| bloody raptor 12/8/12 . chapter 11
Gentech is starting to resemble the umbrella corporation from the resident evil series more and more.
| coincidencless 12/6/12 . chapter 11
*confused* Jessica... *confuzzled* HUH? I have no idea what's going on.
| bloody raptor 11/19/12 . chapter 10
I wounder what will happen next?
| coincidencless 11/18/12 . chapter 10
Well, that ain't good. What about her eyes? Curious.
| Guest 11/13/12 . chapter 1
great story what i also notice in your other story is your oc phase is able to pull one out of her ass for example phase and some other girl were able to overpower james despite doing nothing to get that powerfull and james is strong enough to launch a city wide devestator and how was phase able to punch alex threw aa wall or cut off his blade hi tech armor that must of been some armor there is no legitimate reason as to why mercer didn't kill phase in two seconds and even if he couldn't consume her what was stoping him from choping her up in to bits before her transformation could be completed whare are the brawlers coming from when they use pack leader jame's city wide devestator killed them all and ripping the fabric of reality is to powerfull even for the virus so is teleportation etc if james/chaos was that powerfull what was stoping him from killing pariah and whoever else with a snap of his fingers make the characters actions and their powers more beliveable sorry if this sounds like a flame just sayin