|Reviews for A Battle with a Mary-Sue|
| Siakeruu Arrisorra 5/27/13 . chapter 2
That was hilarious… * dies * Good that I'm not a Red fangirl. I like the grave marker, though, that was funny!
| VoidHunter000 4/28/13 . chapter 1
What is this?
| The Great Spirit of Writing 4/5/13 . chapter 2
I liked annoying Red better.
| E 1/29/13 . chapter 1
Hello people! This is a random story I wrote because I was bored.
By the way, this story is inspired by Puttylol's "Hoenn's Mary Sue", which I recommend you all read, because it's 100x better then this.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokèmon, Red, Gold, any of Red's Pokemon and thankfully, a Mary Sue.
"I challenge you to a battle!" A yell came from a the end of a path that lead to the tip of Mount Silver, loud and definatly female.
The brown haired trainer who sat quite a distance away, let out a long, drawn out sigh.
"Again?" He moaned. "This is the 23.13th one this hour!"
It was true, ever since word had somehow gotten out about him being the true Pokemon master, everyone and their mothers had climbed the freaking mountain just to challenge 'the great and almighty Red', as he was often called (by no-one.) And to be quite honest, he was getting bored of it.
Most the challenger's Pokemon didn't even make sense! Someone had somehow gotten their hands on a MissingNo, causing the battle to become beyond laggy, and the music was pretty annoying too. Another had one called 'ghost', and had just spammed a 1-hit KO move 'Curse', throughout the whole battle.
'At least it wasn't as bad as that person who tried to beat me with a Lv. 100 shiny Rayquaza,' Red thought wistfully. "And lost."
Heh heh, umm, right. That- that totally wasn't me.
The fog and hail somehow cleared to reveal a girl wearing ridiculous showy clothes, a glowing black necklace and knee length combat boots. It was stupid looking attire, especially in this climate, and the red eyed trainer couldn't help but wonder how she hadn't frozen to death.
However, his question was quickly answered as soon as he caught sight of her hair.
It was a dark silver colour with streaks of all the known colours, and even some that didn't exist!
Yeah, because that makes PERFECT sense, I have purple hair with lime green stripes and nobody ever-
Red shot the author a warning glance.
Oh right. The story.
The answer was simple. She was a Mary-Sue. And Mary-sue's can't freeze to death.
"Well hello there, Loser!" She said kindly, rainbow eyes narrowed. "You ready to lose, you losing mute loser?"
"I'm not mute." Red informed her, sounding bored.
"Yes you are!"
The black haired trainer sighed. "No, I'm not."
"Whatever you loser! You're just a loser anyway!"
"So I've been told."
Reaching into her bag that changed colours with her emotions, she produced one black and silver Pokèball. Griping it firmly in one pale arm, she held it out to show the other trainer.
She smiled in the most beautiful way ever. "This is my Pokemon. It will be able to defeat you're entire team on it's own."
Red didn't respond.
"Fine! You, don't believe me, I'll show you!"
She tossed the stupid looking ball into the air, and with a flash of red and silver light, a small Pokemon emerged.
No, not just any Eevee.
A SHINY Eevee.
With magestic crimson eyes.
And two tails.
And three... umm, noses? Sure, let's go with that.
"Meet EeveeX. She's a very orginal creation, wouldn't you agree?"
"No." Red replied blankly.
The girl stamped her foot in anger.
"Well f*ck you!" She screamed. "Just send out your Pokemon so I can beat it up for money!"
"Sgdivhgskfjzifbtjsuajh!" Her Pokemon agreed. "Tcudusivgydsusu!"
Suddenly, a text box appeared beneath their feet.
'Pokemon trainer Amethyst Silver Moonlight Vally Rainbow Black Darkness Ruby Sapphire Emerald Sunshine Gorgeous Anazing Mystic Mythical Gold Shiny Light Hikari Yami'no Yagami Sacred Magical Twilight Flutter Sparkle Glow Night Dawn Poweress Emelle Susy Nightshade Fire Water Earth Wind Element Topaz would like to battle!"
Red stared at the name in silence horror.
"Is there a shorter version of that?"
The girl giggled sweetly. "Sure it's, Amethyst Silver Moonlight Vally Rainbow Black Darkness Ruby Sapphire Emerald Sunshine Gorgeous Anazing Mystic Mythical Gold Shiny Light Hikari Yami'no Yagami Sacred Magical Twilight Flutter Sparkle Glow Night Dawn Poweress Emelle Susy Nightshade Fire Water Earth Wind Element!"
The black haired trainer sighed in irritation. "You know what? I'm just going to make it a day and call you Mary Sue, alright?"
"NO! THAT'S NOT MY-"
"Go Snorlax!" Red cut her off, tossing the red and white ball into the air.
Once out of it's ball, the Pokemon yelled: "Snorelax Mother-f***er!"
"When'd you change your battle cry?" The trainer asked, curious.
"Just last week, I thought it was so cute!" It exclaimed, giggling girlishly.
"I like it."
Frustrated that they weren't paying attention to her, the Mary sue screeched: "Just start the battle!"
The black haired trainer rolled his red eyes. "Fine. You go first."
"Alright then, EeveeX, use Moonlight glowing sunshine power beam!"
"That's not a move." Red pointed out.
It apparently didn't matter. With another strange sounding call, the silver-colored creature sent out a black rainbow beam, instantly knocking out the Snorlax.
Mary Sue was grinning triumphantly until she saw the unimpressed look on her rival's face.
"Wasn't that amazing?" A bit of annoyance leaked into her voice.
Her eyes grew wet. "Not even a little bit?!"
Red shook his head.
She fell to the ground sobbing uncontrolably.
"Y-you're so mean to me, you stupid loser!" She screamed. "All I've done is be nice to you, and this is how you repay me? I hate you!"
'I just made a girl cry.' Red thought with a blink. 'Cool.'
Sudden footsteps alerted him to another's presence. Casting a glance over to the exit of the cave, Red felt his heart sink.
Of all the people that could of shown up at this time, the author had to pick HIM.
I mean, there's Silver, Blue, Green, Black, Diamond, Ruby... Any of them would be better for the currant situation. But NOOO, the author had to be a massive d*ck and chose HIM.
"Oh Arceus, why?" Red sighed, burying is face in his hands.
It was Gold.
"Hey Red, Aipom got stuck in the Lawnmower again so I was wondering if you had any Oxyclean and... What's going on here?" Gold asked with a surprised blink. Biting his lip to keep from laughing, he asked: "D-don't tell me! You're getting beaten up by ANOTHER Mary Sue? Ha!"
Red shot him a look. "Shut up."
The trainers words were in vain, as the newcomer only proceeded to fall onto the ground in a fit of laughter.
"So much for being the Pokemon master!" Gold said between laughs. "You get beaten at least 20.4 times a day!"
"Gold, if you don't shut up, I'm going to glare at you."
The boy quickly froze. Even he knew what happened if Red glared at you for to long.
Yep, that's right. You would EXPLODE.
This is Red we're talking about.
Whatever Gold was about to say next was cut off by the beautiful, wonderful, amazingly powerful girl's perfect singing voice.
"Are we going to finish this battle or are you going to keep slacking off, loser?" She asked sweetly, flipping her amazing hair over her shoulder.
"But you were the one crying!" Gold pointed out.
The girl used her telekinetic powers to push him in a wall.
Turning back to Red, she continued: "Send out you next loser Pokemon. This has been way too easy."
Red grumbled something under his breath before grabbing another Pokèball and throwing it into the air.
There was a flash of bright red light, and, with a strange sounding call, a pink blob fell onto the snow.
"WHAT?!" Mary Sue screamed. "BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A DITTO! THIS ISN'T CANON!"
Gold rolled his eyes. "You're not canon."
Red sighed. "I have every Pokemon in Kanto."
"Yea, but you don't have a Ditto on you're team you stupid loser! Stop being such a loser and fight fair!"
"Because cheating is fun." Red told her simply. "Now, Ditto, use Transform!"
"Ditto!" Ditto Dittoed.
Mary Sue could only watch in horror as the tiny pink glob of goo slowly changed shape, growing two tails, long legs and silver fur. Finally, the sequence ceased as it's eyes flashed red, a perfect replica.
"Y-you're... A-a..." She started.
"A loser?" Gold offered causally.
"Wow Gold, thanks."
"A BIG MEANIE PANTS!" She screamed, flailing her arms.
"Actually, I'm wearing shorts."
"She wasn't talking to you Gold."
"Well she COULD have."
"Yes, but she didn't."
Gold crossed his arms, huffing angerly. "Fine."
'What moves does this thing know?" Red wondered, pulling out his Pokèdex.
After a quick scan the machine took a few seconds to load, before a screen full of information appeared:
Gender: Eww, I'm not looking.
Type: Shadow Nightmare.
Good against: Everything.
Weak against: Hahahaha! That's a good one.
Ability: Wonderguard. Hacker...
Backstory: IDK... It's just some depressing slop.
Moonlight Sunshine glowing power beam:
Umm... It does something.
Beauty Rainbow Glow:
It makes the opponent... hurt, maybe?
Do da Mario:
'Take one step, it's time to go..."
"Well that was utterly useless." The black haired trainer sighed, closing the Pokèdex.
"Hey Red." Gold spoke up.
"Your Ditto fainted."
Red cast a surprised glance towards the field. There lay his Pokèmon, now just bits of slime here and there, a giant scorch mark burned into the ground. The girl was smiling proudly.
"Ha! I used my kawii desu desu fire power to kill your stupid Pokemon!" Mary Sue informed him helpfully.
"Wow... I never would have guessed. Wait, didn't it have Wonderguard?"
"Yeah, that's a plot twist. Now EeveeX, return!" She shouted, retracting the Pokemon.
Grinning, she took another ball from her bag a lifted it up.
"And now for my next one."
Gold raised his hand. "I bet it's going to be a shiny Mew!"
"That's stupid." Red snorted. "It's odviously going to be a shadow Celebi-Z."
"Fine. If, I'm right, you owe me 50. If you're right, vice-versa."
"You're on!" Gold grinned cockily.
Pikachu stamped his foot in anger.
"Why haven't I got
| FadedSunset 1/6/13 . chapter 2
That was hilarious! I'm laughing so hard right now :D
| Guest 1/5/13 . chapter 2
| clarinet97 1/3/13 . chapter 2
Loved this :p I cant remember the last time a pokemon fic made me laugh so hard nice job!
| Allie-Cat 83 12/27/12 . chapter 2
It's my first time reading something like this and I love it! This is just hilarious xD I'll make sure to read Puttylol's fanfic too :)
Some of my favorite included Red acting so "sweet" and happy, Igglybuff fainting from a snowflake, and this part: "Go, shiny Victini-2!" The small legendary fell to the cold ground, expression fierce. The girl fist pumped and pointed towards Gold who was busy picking up his billard cue. "Now, use-" "OBJECTION!" "OBJECTION OVERRULED!" Gold yelled. "Wait, who said that?" The champion pointed to himself. "I did, for I have finally found out the true way to rid us of this Mary Sue!" Epic! :D Though when I hear OBJECTION, I think of a game based off Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney for some reason O.O (I never played the actual game but I played a game based off on it by Pacthesis on DeviantART :D)
| nightrader1234 12/15/12 . chapter 2
THAT WAS HALERIOUSE I feel sorry for red
| Red-the-Mudkip 11/16/12 . chapter 2
Awesome story. I stopped at the warning. But still, awesome. GO, REEEEEED! *runs off to read Puttylol's fanfic*
| Azulhada 10/19/12 . chapter 2
Oh the references! I'm just dying here of laughter while my sister stares at me like I'm creep. Great life right. Mary-Sue's why can't we just kill them all. Right?
| sapphiques-and-angelfire 10/18/12 . chapter 2
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaahahahahah ahhaahahahshhaah
| sapphiques-and-angelfire 10/18/12 . chapter 1
this is really... random. me likey.
| Super Serious Gal 3 10/17/12 . chapter 2
Died from reference overdose.
Please tell me you took well excuse me princess from the legend of Zelda.
| MyBuizelIsCalledBurt 10/8/12 . chapter 2
That, (Pause), WAS (Pause) AMAZING, WAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAH!
I love this, IT IS THE BEST THING EVER EVER!
Puttylol told me about this, and I thought it would be average, IT WASN T AVERAGE.
(I'm sorry, I'm not normally like this, but that story, was, the, best , thing, EVAAAAAAA!
Thanks you so so so so much, for existing.