|Reviews for My Not So Normal Life|
| LunarEclipseKid 3/1/13 . chapter 5
| friendofbread 11/5/12 . chapter 5
lololol! this is so funny i laughed and laughed and laughed! omg thank u for writing it! question 1 i don't know maybe its called ""castlevania""? question 2 is so easy they have white hair duh.
| Mistress Minty 10/21/12 . chapter 4
Like the reviewer before me, I am here at the behest of one of your faithful readers/reviewers. Please know before I give you some critiques that I merely wish to help, not harm your writing. That said, let us begin.
If English is not your first language, then the grammatical errors and misspellings are excusable. But you should try looking for a beta whose first language is English. That would be of tremendous help to you. I've also noticed that you don't separate your Author's Notes from the actual story. I thought I was reading the actual story at one point, so you should separate them to avoid confusion. If you go into the Document Uploader (Under Publish), you should be able to find a tool called the "Horizontal Ruler" at the top of the editing window. Use that to separate your flashbacks, scene changes and Author's Notes.
Now for the story's content itself. I agree with Slacker, your pacing is far too confusing. There is no visible plot line and you just keep throwing in characters at random. Ask yourself this: Is there a reason all these characters are being summoned at random into one locale? And Soma's time line for that matter? Why these particular characters? What role will they play in whatever you have planned for them? I am running a time-warp fic as well, and one thing I learned to never EVER do is pick random characters. Only choose characters that will actually serve your purpose well.
Time to tackle the story and characterization. This story is riddled with inconsistencies that conflict with the official storyline. I'm not sure what time this is set during, but after Dawn of Sorrow, I believe Soma is out of high school. Also, why would Soma and Mina have to tell everyone that Arikado is Alucard if they've all fought together before? That just struck me as odd. And I think Charlotte would have been able to sense his illusion if that were the case. Also, just a minor nuance, but Soma never uses his powers outside of Castlevania for fear that he may bring out the Dark Lord within him. But that's just me. Soma seems a bit OOC too. I can't see him being a pervert to the extreme that Jonathan may be. He blushes when people claim he likes Mina, so...yeah. And, Maria using Japanese suffixes for everyone's names? Soma-kun, for example. She lived in Romania all her life and has just been transported to Japan. I don't think she'd catch onto the language that quickly and start talking like a local so soon.
I DID like the bit with no garlic on the pizza. Teehee. Garlic is bad for Vampire Soma. Gives him terrible rashes. XD Good luck with your story.
| LateNiteSlacker 10/20/12 . chapter 4
First off, I'm here because another person on this site asked me to read this story and tell them what I thought of it. I thought it was only fair that I let you know too.
I've looked at your profile, and if you truly are a 14 year old boy from the Philippines, amnesia or no, then you're actually doing all right. I commend you on your knowledge of the English language and vocabulary. Your grammar needs some work, but that will come with time and more practice. If you are not a 14 year old boy from the Philippines, then I'm afraid this review isn't going to do you much good.
As far as the story itself goes, it's eclectic and crazy. I remember writing something off-the-wall like this when I was 14, so I can't knock it. However, after four chapters where the only plot seems to be introducing as many characters from different Castlevania games as possible, I think it's time that you started thinking of introducing a main plotline. Why are all the characters here? What are they doing? What is this story going to be about? These are some questions you will want to start answering in your next chapter.
Also, take it from me, you DON'T want to introduce too many characters. It will make the story extremely difficult to write, and readers will lose track of who is actually in your story. I think you are ok with the number of characters you have now.
Take your time with the next chapter and see if you can really flesh some of these ideas out. Best of luck with your writing!
| MaidenofAlchemy 10/18/12 . chapter 3
Wow...all I can say for now. It'll be interesting to see how you can juggle all of the CV characters that you're adding in.
| MaidenofAlchemy 10/6/12 . chapter 1
Interesting start. I take it this is based off of Harmony of Despair? Just a note, you might want to use a break line for you story and after words.