|Reviews for Red Light|
| Guest 11/29/12 . chapter 4
Great story even though I was hoping for a happy J/H ending. Well written.
Hope you comeback with another J/H story soon.
This story was different from a lot of what's been posted on here lately and it kept me wanting to read more.
| nannygirl 11/6/12 . chapter 4
Brilliant, BRILLIANT work on this chapter!
The drama and tension was just…wow! You could really feel both their frustrations. And the descriptions were so wonderfully done, though out the whole chapter I could easily picture the setting, the characters, their actions all of it! Very awesome job there!
Wonderful beginning with Jackie coming in to the basement and I love that you had her reading a book of poems when I think other writers-myself included may have had her pick up magazine—the poem thing fits SO much better! I also really liked the way you gave us a glimpse into Jackie’s head and reading about how she was already not as happy as she should be, nice bit with how Point Place and the memories attached to the places were making Jackie feel claustrophobic. Nice little moment with Hyde coming out and finding her, her yawning and saying he looked hot made me smile. And I had to laugh at the image of Eric proposing to Donna at six in the morning—that is SO Eric!
It was really great hearing that Donna and Eric were engaged again but oh boy, it did not make for a good conversation between Hyde and Jackie. Liked the whole thing about Jackie being upset that Hyde didn’t tell her but Hyde makes a good point about why he kept the secret. Uh-o then Jackie starts talking about them getting married. Knew that this wouldn’t go well and I think she did too but I liked the point she made about how she shouldn’t have to avoid certain subject just because they would upset him.
Fabulous job on the part where they went into Hyde’s room, still arguing and the way Hyde tried to bring the whole talk to an end and get her to just lay down with him was something I could see Hyde doing but of course Jackie wouldn’t give in so easily especially when she was determined to find out his response. Oh gosh then he says he doesn’t think they’re good together….Oh Hyde..No! But I;m glad he gave her that full explanation instead of just leaving it like that. And then Jackie pulling off the blanket and Hyde’s shades and throwing them around the room—What an image! Lol
Think my favorite part of the chapter was the part where they’re in the kitchen and Eric’s there. You wrote Eric so well and he provided some great comic relief too but at the same time nothing too funny that the tension of Hyde and Jackie’s argument was lost. Poor guy getting told to shut up so much lol loved how by the end he was just like ‘shutting up’ lol Oh then Jacking bringing up Sam…Oh Jackie…No! lol loved Eric shaking his head after her lol. Also loved eth gasp Jackie gave when she realizes she’s gone too far and Hyde we can already tell is upset about the whole thing that I’m sure he regrets very much.
Great job on the scene with the two outside and I really like dhow you had Hyde trying to shoot a couple of baskets but missing—again another Hyde action I could picture very much. The whole talk about Sam was really well written and I thought both of them made some really great and powerful statements. But oh gosh, I did not see Jackie admitting that she and Kelso had slept together coming. That was…Wow! Really loved how you wrote the way Jackie tells him and how Hyde wants to badly to know what it is she’s talking about, you could really hear their voices there. Hyde’s response being aloof—definitely not a good sign. Oh and their last words to each other—at least until they meet in the future—“ "We're not even Jackie. You won, you finally won." As he opens the sliding door he hears her call out "fine, walk away again. I'm done Steven!" Oh gosh, not gonna lie that was hard to read. And then the last line of story—heartbreaking, so so heartbreaking.
Overall this chapter and this story was amazingly awesome! It was so different from any other JH story I’ve ever read and I’m so glad that you wrote it and shared it with us! I’m standing and applauding you for this job so very well done! I do hope one day you’ll post that sequel oneshot you were talking about. I would definitely read it!
Wonderful job once more! I very much enjoyed it! Thanks so much for sharing! Till next time keep up the fabulous work!
| MistyMountainHop 11/3/12 . chapter 4
Wow... I wonder if Jackie was telling Hyde the truth about Chicago. She could have just told him she slept with Kelso to hurt him.
Either way, Hyde's feeling toward Jackie at this point were very mixed. He didn't want to be without her, but he also didn't want to fully commit. I can understand why she "opted out" of the relationship and was done.
Definitely a sad story, but the description and tension throughout were nicely done. :D
| MistyMountainHop 11/3/12 . chapter 3
He looks at the tip of the cigarette as it lights up with her pull. He has never seen her smoke a
cigarette. Other things, sure, but never a cigarette. She used to say it makes her lungs ugly, and she is too pretty for anything in her body to be ugly. - Very nice bit of narrative.
Ah, good. Hyde does ask Jackie what happened. :D
Hyde's feelings for Jackie were clearly never resolved. His first go-to place is to assume her current
lifestyle stems from him. But, as she rightly said, she's had three-years-worth of experiences he wasn't part of. She's no longer the Jackie he knew.
It's very sad what brought Jackie to this place. And Hyde is still in love with her. Oh, man...
I wonder had Jackie given into Hyde's physical overture, would she have allowed him to help her out of this situation? Would he have let her in past his body? Or will the fact that Hyde backed off to let Jackie "do things on her own" end up rewarding both of them in the end? Or destroying one or both of them? Very interesting questions this chapter (and story) raises.
| MistyMountainHop 11/3/12 . chapter 2
The bidding war Hyde engages in for Jackie is very tense.
Fascinating that she says absolutely nothing (verbally) during her private time with Hyde. That's actually quite revealing about her character. Also interesting that she doesn't seem to have any feelings whatsoever about Hyde (and Kelso, Fez, and Eric) discovering her new profession. Whatever happened to bring her to this place in life must have numbed her to her own feelings...
Except for her basic, primal need for Hyde, as evidenced by what happened when she sees his eyes.
I wonder why, however, Hyde didn't ask her straight away, "What happened? Why would you, of all people, choose this life?" I hope he does ask her.
| MistyMountainHop 11/3/12 . chapter 1
What an intriguing setup! Hyde seems to be about to get happily married, then Jackie turns out to be a stripper at his bachelor party.
The opening description set the scene well, and I loved the last five paragraphs of the chapter. I could see Hyde being desperate to get Jackie alone to find out how she ended up in this life.
| Guest 11/2/12 . chapter 4
I have loved SO much this last chap !
I'm sad that this story don't finish well but I like it, too !
| Jeremy Shane 11/1/12 . chapter 4
Legendary Chapter & More Please
| schottzie 11/1/12 . chapter 4
Of course I was hoping for a happy ending but hey, life-and fanfic-does'nt always turn out that way. Good job-I enjoyed it. Hope you write more.
| Guest 10/31/12 . chapter 4
What?! You cannot just leave it there that is just wrong
| DFT 10/31/12 . chapter 4
Our past will sometimes dictate our future, I hope they still get bank together!
| ShanghaiLily 10/31/12 . chapter 4
Wait! This is the end? No :(
This was a good chapter-it's a shame you're not going to continue.
| Guest 10/30/12 . chapter 3
Terrific job on this story. Very unpredictable and so intense and this chapter was very sexy. Please update very soon.
| nannygirl 10/23/12 . chapter 3
Wonderful work on this wonderful chapter!
Lots of stuff going on with clues and drama, Loved it all!
Terrific opening with Hyde going off to catch up with Jackie and I like how the guys point him in the direction that she went. And then the part with him walking in on her smoking…that whole bit even before the dialogue was just so so very well written! Loved the descriptions and Hyde’s thoughts when he saw her smoking ‘She used to say it makes her lungs ugly, and she is too pretty for anything in her body to be ugly.” LOVED!
And wow Jackie really does sound bitter when talking to Hyde but looking at where she is in her life right now it makes a lot of sense. What I really liked though was how you captured her voice even while she was scoffing and cursing at Hyde. Very terrific job there! You also had Hyde’s voice down too, I liked how he wanted to know how she’s gotten there. It’s obvious he always thought she’d be something big in her life. Liked this line from him because it was just so very Hyde “"Then what the fuck is going on Jackie? What's all this about? You just woke up one day and decided to take your clothes off for every skeeze in Kenosha?”
Oo and learn a bit more about what happened to Jackie and Hyde. She gave up on them. And she was the one to leave. Oh boy something big must have happened *that* night.
Their argument was very heated but very very awesomely written because you could really picture it going on. And I loved this descriptions here “Things never seem to change between them, did they? It is always like a 12-round boxing match. They would try to outdo each other, see who could hurt the other person most. To her credit, she had won their last match, and still held the title.” Nicely written!
The part with Jackie crying in his embrace was heartbreaking and was followed by more heartbreaking stuff when we learn how Jackie got to where she was. The poor thing. It was sweet Hyde saying she could have come back, and I’m sure she could have but whatever happened *that* night must have played a big role in why she felt she couldn’t return. Also thought it was sweet of him to offer to help her out and her line about the ticket and the train was terrific! I mean not her saying that you know, just the line lol
A VERY steamy scene in that alley! Liked how you tossed in some little pieces of humor in there too. Interesting how Jackie is the one to bring up Jenna. And I liked how she doesn’t want to be *that* girl. Don’t think Hyde wants her to be that girl, think he wants her to be his girl. But what about Jenna? Wonder what he’s going to do about her.
The end was wo marvelously written. I loved how they caught each other’s eye from far away and she gives him a smile. Hyde exiting the club was nicely written and I had to smile at Kelso dancing and singing his way out. Especially loved Jackie’s part watching them leave and seeing this as closure. I really do hope that even if she doesn’t end up with Hyde that she is able to figure out her future.
Again this was a terrifically fantastic chapter! I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to more! Till then keep up the fabulous work!
| Jeremy Shane 10/23/12 . chapter 3
Great Chapter & More Please