| Reviews for Neo Pets The Darkest Faerie Diva and Stars |
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KaylaDestroyer 11/24/12 . chapter 2Awesome chapter! AW, the baby girl arrived! And we had a story about Garfield! It was a lot like the Sid story. Update soon! :D |
KaylaDestroyer 11/14/12 . chapter 1Cool! So the little girls are having all their daddies take them out for camp and the moms get to stay home and go out for pizza? That sounds like fun. ;) Hm, I'm envisioning Diego and Manny trying to control their overexcited daughters. XD |
UnwrittenMemory 10/21/12 . chapter 1I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but you have a LOT to improve on, I'm sorry. Each line of speech should start and end with quotation marks (") and each of them need their own paragraphs. Trying to read this was very hard on my eyes and I had to read the first line five times. Also, DEVELOP YOUR STORY! The way you're writing this goes "This happens, then this, then this, and finally this." It should be "This happens because of this (detail detail detail) and then (details details details)" The more details you have in your story, the better it will be. Strive to write at least 500 words per paragraph. Hope you adhere to my advice, I think you have a lot of potential. |
Rachy Melissa Bertram 10/12/12 . chapter 1wow Good Story Isabelle! I am so hapy of u and UR BFF 3 |