I personally think your writing is elegant and pleasant to read. Some stories have such a good plot idea yet the writing bugs me to the point I cannot read it! Great job, can't wait for longer chapters!

Wow! I love your story. It's very original, and you incorporate all the characters in very creative ways. You write in a way that is very easy and enjoyable to read. Your grammar is almost perfect, but my only suggestion is that you work on where to use the "to"s and "too"s and "they're" "their" and "there", and where to put apostrophes. Other than that, keep it up!

This chapter was awesome! Thanks for using my character. I can't wait for the next part

That last "they're" should be "their", but it's a simple mistake to make. I love this story so far! I really hope Marlin comes in soon... Emily sounds lonely. :)

Wonderful. Update soon!

Oh, I absolutely know what you're talking about when you say you've been busy. Don't worry about it; the longer we wait, the longer we're obsessed about it, and the happier we are when we finally get to read it! D
Unlikely demise. Well. That sounds lovely. But that male who might have broken the cycle, could that possibly be Ozymandus? :)
Oh, Marlin, Marlin, Marlin... Just accept the fact that you and Emily were destined to be together! THAT WAS NOT A REQUEST, MARLIN. XD

Awwwwww, thank you!
And Adriane finally makes her appearance! And she is not happy about her new job. This will be fun... especially with Zach. XD XD XD Luv it!

Sorry about the last review. That's what happens when you're trying to rush while typing on an Android phone. PLus I've been too busy lately to even come on the computer in the first place! So, where was I? Right, rhetorical questions.
So, moving on from that:
3. Thank you for using such good grammar. I mean, it's not perfect, but it's quite above the fanfic average. :)
4. I do have a character, which it would be cool to see in here, but she's a mage and it would be odd if she were a normal human. So, until more about magic in this world is revealed, I'm gonna hold off on that. ;) After all, not a word has been spoken about bondeds or magic jewels. Perhaps, having little experience with fanfics, I'm expecting the universal magic laws to be more similar to the original series than they actually are. xD

Keep writing! :D
Avie

The most important point I have to make is that of Emily's personality. If she had been raised in those circumstances, that is exactly how I imagine she would act. You nailed it. :) Secondly, do mages even exist in this world? How does this tie in with the original series (if at all)? These are rhetorical questions oof

yay, an update! This day just keeps getting better :) (and then i remember my science homework, bleagh :P)
anyway. . ..
ahaha, Marlin's so awkward (sp?)! Can't wait to see more of Adriane ! And Zach X) . Great chapter, please write quickly!:) :) :) :)

After finally getting past all the spam emails i've been recieving for the past 2 months I found this one and i was like "OMIGOD NEW CHAPTER HOW COULD I NOT KNOW ABOUT THISSSSSSSSSS!" And, a shout out? for me? I feel so happy! It's been ages since this update, but i'll keep waiting cause it's totally worth it! i don't want to b pushy but please write the next chapter soon! I still love your story!

your story is so awesome! pleasepleaseplease update soon! your killing me with the preview

P.s.
River is human!

OC idea: River, A.K.A Riv.
Long, wavy brown hair. Light green eyes with yellow streaks that can hide emotion quite well. Small form but 'mature' chest, long legs, arms and fingers.
Magic: She has a mix of magic that hasn't really been deciphered yet. You can make it whatever magic you want.
Personality: Shy and mysterious, except to close friends, of which she had very few. She can be incredibly outgoing and daring though.
Bonded: You can add her bonded in at any point of the story. A elemental horse, and a Mistwolf. The elemental horse can be whatever element you choose to give her.
Jewel: Dark purple flecked with black
If the characters in this story don't have bondeds, you don't have to put mine in there. I haven't seen any mention of them though.

OMG! You have me a shout-out! Thanks so much! I really wish i had an account, do you think I should get one? The preview was AMAZING! I am literally on the edge of my seat right now. I don't want to be one of those people who are always pressuring you for more...But I really can't for you to update! Please, please, keep this story up, I know some people just kind of stop int the middle of a story and never finish. I REALLY CAN'T WAIT TILL chapter 6, or 7, if this counted as a chapter or not. Keep up the AMAZING work!