it was nice, but could have been better had it been proof read. It would be cool to have a more detailed story about what happened w/ interactions and plot. Otherwise, good stuff you have here.

ummm Whose POV is this? I'm you care to explain it to me email me at .

mmm, you could have made this the review and writen an entire story instead, It seems almost like an outline, which would make for an exelent complete story. You could really make this into n amazing piece if you speant some tim e on it.