|Reviews for The Scream|
| Artemis west 3/5/13 . chapter 3
Plz update it was so good!
| sesshys1lover 3/5/13 . chapter 3
I really love this, can't wait to read more
| Love 3/5/13 . chapter 3
Update, you have a great idea and writing skills!
This story could be really good!
| LilyWaters 3/4/13 . chapter 3
This seems like a really good story so far! I like it.
| brooke-ella1990 3/2/13 . chapter 3
i haven't read too much of the Switched at the Birth AU's, but i like it! looking forward to more
| xRainbowNinjax 3/2/13 . chapter 3
Will bay and daphne eventually find out about the switch at any time?
| bonesbemmettlover 3/1/13 . chapter 3
| BekaRoo 3/1/13 . chapter 3
I love this chapter and Bay's rant. I also love that Kathryn was in this chapter I loved the little bit of mother daughter bonding. I can not wait to see what happens next. Please update again soon :)
| UNCPanda 3/1/13 . chapter 3
| hottieanimegurl 3/1/13 . chapter 3
| Guest 3/1/13 . chapter 3
| Edhla 2/28/13 . chapter 1
Disclaimer: I know nothing about this fandom, sorry. The title appealed to me muchly :D
Great opening line... arresting and sets your scene well.
"If Liam..." this line seems to wobble in tense. I'd be inclined to put it as "If Liam had been there, he'd have..." or otherwise change the wording altogether. Just stylistically I might also write Bitch Mode, but that may well be me.
Your dialogue (and therefore the rapport between your characters) is consistently excellent. It sounds real, and bounces well. However, I did notice that there's a lot of dialogue tags and "telling" going on, as in things like, "Kathryn attempted to remain sympathetic" or "Toby already knew about the breakup..." or "Toby quipped." The first two examples could probably be expressed in a different way that doesn't jar, and Toby's quip was self-evidently a quip and didn't need any extra help. :) The same as with Bay's "cripping retort." I think it might be stronger if, instead of telling us it was a crippling retort, you show instead the impact that a cruel remark like that made on those who heard it.
Once you're back into straight narrative I think it works better. I'm not getting a huge sense of too many of the characters at this early stage, but Bay is a standout, particuarly her "There. Screw you, Liam." Though the paragraph before, again, does tend to tell us a lot about Bay in straight terms rather than teasing it out or showing it.
The plot is great- there are just so many places this could go and so many means of expressing yourself with a plot like this. A real character vehicle, and I hope it will be, because your foundations are excellent and I want to know more about these people. xx
| ShadowDragoon32 2/21/13 . chapter 1
Nice. This seems like a fun fluff piece. It seemed like you transitioned from an omniprescent third person to a more selective first person in this chapter, though, and it flt rather awkward. Still, this was cute and adorable, as long as you continue with quality updates, I'm sure people won't mind the length.
| Guest 1/21/13 . chapter 2
| BekaRoo 1/14/13 . chapter 2
I love this fic I hope there is more :)