# The Bagstaff family had a massive plan to infiltrate all the royal houses of all of the world's leading nations and empires, placing themselves as the Heirs to those kingdoms.

You mean, like the Habsburgs. Been there, done that. You are a fucking retarded imbecile with an utterly retarded story. And I didn't skim more than the first paragraph of it, nor read more than the first sentence.

great new chapter, maybe now the vorlons and minbari will learn not to mess with earth Alliance, and they will need to rebuild to face the Shadows. Maybe then Earth will help crush the Shadows once and for all

Hoping they shake all of these aliens off their coat, in canon the Earth had no true friends and allies and yet they still worked with them after those aliens turned their backs on them.

The best revenge is a powerful empire of their own without any traitors in it.

Hoping to see more of the Greek admiral Elizabeth, what a woman.

Are some of the clones (orphans) military leaders?
Do the humans plan on only using hyperspace?

Surprised they aren't looking for ways to keep hyperspace windows form opening in their systems.

She gave his child away and the psi king didn't know?

Please not the minbari are out brothers schithk.
Damn Minbari, lol.

very good new chapter , the Vorlons will have a nasty surprise., cant hardly wait for the next chapter.

I find that I'm more partial to the shadows, but they like the space squids like to drag other races into their wars, so they gotta go too.

Less of the royals, please. Unless its the leader.
Because the princess is annoying as hell and seems pretty useless for anything except flirting.

By the time those idiot Minbari get there those systems will be fortresses.
Interesting to see if they can jump start the psi's on Earth.

get a real beta your Susan Hilton sucks

Your story is shaping up, but you still need improvement in your sentence structures and punctuation. I'm almost finished fixing chapter 6. Still working on chapt. 4 of "Overkill". It will be completed soon. Thanks for the reviews. Have a good day.

Hi again. Since FF will only allow me to give one review a chapter, here are some more corrections to be made for the first chapter (one paragraph at a time): ...the meeting was starting(comma)Lady Jessica rose TO her feet. (quotation marks)Welcome one and all(period)The first phase of our great plan has come TO an end. We HAVE much hard work..."
(Paragraph)
...the main doors opened(period)Standing there...(quotes) Well done, Lady Jessica(period) I believe...for you.(quotes)Talmarch(comma), head of...
(Paragraph) Quotes needed again for those speaking. THEIR children, (Leave "and so on" out.)AS requested...your years ago(period)RESEARCH
(paragraph)
THEIR military...THEIR people
(paragraph)
...the effects of the Cold War(comma) engines that WERE discovered...FAR more powerful, FAR cleaner...smoke made(period)It...THEN during this time(comma)...brought ABOUT THEIR military. More to come with the next chapter.

Oh my stars, kid, you do need help. In your summary, it should read, ...and it DOESN'T support the Vorlons in THEIR great war with THEIR ancient enemies, the Shadows. Your punctuation, sentence structure, spelling and grammar need work. In your chapter, here are many items that need to be fixed: They THIRSTED for it; they HUNGERED for it...All THEIR long hard plans...THEIR annual family meeting showed the growth of THEIR plans. Put quotation marks at the places where your characters are speaking. Lady Jessica rose TO her feet. HOLY Roman Empire, not Holly, just to name a few. I will do what I can with this old computer,but you should really find someone who has a newer one. Good day to you and good luck.

I like this, but less prose in the speech.

I like the idea of powerful human who are not in love with the Vorlons.

I think you need a beta and if not a beat possible use spellchecker sites that will correct your chapters for you.

More please.

Hey love your au story so far. Just a fyi the third chapter you just updated is the same as your last chapter. You may have downloaded the wrong chapter. If not and is a rewrite is fine. Either way i am liking the story, although not a huge fan of a centauri running things but so far it works.

i'm liking your take on this keep it up

very good begining forn this story, lets see what will hapend nex