|Reviews for Moving Into Your Arms|
| DjinniFires 1/29/13 . chapter 2
Hello from WA. I chose this chapter because it didn't have a review yet.
These lines struck me as particularly good: "No I can't let you go Rei. I'm your burden remember? You're staying with me for an eternity." And also "But I like it when you weigh me down." You use burden/weight in both the abstract and the physical-nice.
My main suggestion is to pick a point-of-view and stick with it. Since this is almost completely dialogue and most of the description could be considered objective POV, so it's not too jarring, but... "Usagi decided..." would have to be her POV while Rei's "There was no way she could resist..." would be her POV while "Rei's face turned a light shade of red" would be Usagi's again.
At the beginning, the back-and-forth could have a couple less repetitions.
| AmmyAmmar 1/1/13 . chapter 10
Hi! I would like to tell that at first I decided to choose this story to read was only because I've seen the couple that you prescribed as "Minako and Mamoru".
For me, I'd love to read all men who pair with Minako and Mamoru is rarely to find to read. Although girls love is not my reading type, but I can read your "Usagi and Rei" as happy as I've ever felt to read this type.
About the story, for my opinion, this story such an elaborately story that show the author was paid attention to write very much! I'm really appreciate your fantasy-romantic plot! If you have a chance, please no hesitate to write the pair of Mina and Mamoru again! I'm impressive as "reader" and impressive as "Minoko-fanclub"! I've read all chapters of this story once in the time during free-time of working days as today and it make me full of better, relax and happy emotional!
Another that, your word's choose method made me know a lot vocabulary!
Thanks for new words! (for me.)
Thanks for great story! _
| Serena-Darien2001 12/9/12 . chapter 10
Cool story. :D
| Vchanny 12/3/12 . chapter 10
I think the title is fine as is. No need to change. Thanks for explaining the Chibiusa aspect! I was curious.
| Hamfast Gamgee 12/3/12 . chapter 1
Good tale so far, you write well. I will confess that I don't know anything about this fandom but this story is good. It looks vaguely Eastern at first sight. I don't think that alternating between Minako and Mina should be a problem. I read Tolkien and more than a few of his characters have more names than just two. A shame about those two companions of hers that died. I admit that I don't know how they did or anything so perhaps a bit of a flashback on how they did would be nice, though perhaps those that know the fandom know! Or maybe you say so later. Your spelling and grammer seems fine, possibly a bit more description in one or two places would be nice. Still, interesting concept, I will read some more.
| inufan155687 12/2/12 . chapter 10
I loved it. I loved Usagi and Rei being together, Mamoru and Minako getting together thanks to Rei and Usagi and from that, Minako becoming Chibiusa's mother. :) this was just absolutely amazing :) thank you for a great story
| Guest 12/1/12 . chapter 10
great story! Really like the mamoru/minako pairing.
| Guest 11/30/12 . chapter 9
gets better and better
| Blue-Inked Frost 11/29/12 . chapter 3
Aww, it's sad that Usagi and Rei are gone. I thought you wrote the graveyard scene in a way that seemed very touching to the reader.
"It was wonderful occasion." - should be 'a wonderful occasion'.
"Usagi I know if you were here that the wedding date would be set by now." - should be a comma after 'Usagi'.
"Minako kneeled" - should be 'knelt'.
"of your guy's time." - should be "of you guys' time".
""Mina you shouldn't be out here alone."A man called out to her." Correcting the grammar here: ""Mina, you shouldn't be out here alone," a man called to her."
I felt that Minako and Mamoru explaining to each other how Usagi and Rei died was a bit contrived, since it felt like they were really explaining to the reader, but I was touched by the friendship between the characters and Mamoru's choices to accept Usagi and Rei's relationship.
The line about the mangas at the end was amusing and prevented the scene for being too glurgy!
In chapter two -
Oh, dear, dead people are talking. :D I was amused by the conversation! Usagi and Rei were cute with each other. Of course the mangas are a way for Minako to remember Rei.
I won't do a detailed picking-out of things, especially since I'm in the early chapters, but:
"No but I know that is what you think I am. You're a burden too you know." - Commas would help reading clarity after 'No', and 'too'. Generally, commas are used when someone's being directly addressed, eg. "Come on, Rei!"
In chapter three -
This story seems meant for comedy and there is a lot of cuteness in it, but it seems tragic to me to have Rei and Usagi wandering around on the earth as ghosts, unable to touch or to talk to anyone they once knew, and not able to leave their former lives behind even though they're dead. The tragedy I imagined from this scenario as a reader almost overrode the light mood of the story for me.
It was nice to know that Chibiusa still manages to be around!
I might leave the review there and save reading the rest of the story for later. :) From reading your other fic, I like how you write relationships.
I think this is a promising start; it's a fast read, but I like your dialogue and the humour moments in it. And unusual relationshipping like Mina/Mamoru always makes me more interested in a fic!
| Vchanny 11/29/12 . chapter 8
I only have one criticism, wasn't it the crystal that put the people of Earth into a deep slumber? How does that happen if it's with the ghost of Usagi?
Otherwise, cute idea!
| Guest 11/28/12 . chapter 8
good, can't wait for the next update.
| inufan155687 11/27/12 . chapter 8
this is really good, looking forward to the upcoming chapters :)
| Guest 11/22/12 . chapter 7
great chapter it made my day.
| tototo 11/21/12 . chapter 7
please update soon!
| tototo 11/20/12 . chapter 6
lol i love it! can't wait to see what happens next