|Reviews for Lost In The Butterflies|
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 45
I don't know, but I don't think this was the best ending possible. I mean, it would have been beautiful if there were more descriptions going on here. And, you threw in random names that made it hard to know who was who. I don't know, something felt off. But at the same time, it kind of fit the story. All in all it was a 6 out of 10 ending. (I was thinking about it...and you have a tendency to repeat words to the point where you wear them out. For example, you said 'reckon' a lot and kind of tore out its meaning. In the other chapters, you said 'whilst' a lot. First, that's not really a typical American word [but that's just me being knit-picky]. Second, I'm sure you could have reworded your sentences to put off the use of 'whilst.' Maybe using a thesaurus could help. I'm not trying to sound mean about that, so I hope you don't take it the wrong way. I just think that might be helpful.) Can't wait for the sequel!
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 44
So, in the last chapter, you put Beck's mom's name as "Rose," but here it's "Grace." Sometimes, that happens, and I just wanted to point it out to you. That's a shame she died, but...it happens. I'm glad that Scout didn't die like Harry. That would have been awful. A sequel would be good for this story (even though I haven't read the ending yet) and I'd love to know what would happen to everyone.
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 43
I feel like that was a little cheesy, making Ally to be Hayley. I feel like it would have been better if she was just a Mary Sue. I think it's good that Cat and Robbie decided to wait, but I feel like they would have gotten to that point before the wedding. I think it's really sweet that Beck's parents renewed their vows. I hope everything's okay, though...
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 42
God, Lucy is a lot like Jade and it's icky. Honestly, I don't know if Cat (matured or not) really would have responded the way she did. I don't think anyone would have responded the way Cat did. It just seemed...unrealistic. It really looks like Tori and Andre are going to be the ones to break up. I hope Robbie makes it up to Cat.
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 41
Oh, Andre, that was an awful thing to say. I'm glad Cat got a chance to blow off some steam and talk to someone older and wiser. Now that Danny's out of the way, Robbie just needs to get rid of Ally and everything will be perfect! Four more chapters left!
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 40
That's awful what Danny did! I'm glad Zach's okay though.
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 39
Bade fluff is the best. But how dare Danny try to be a skeez! Maybe he and Ally should get together. That would help everyone. Six chapters left!
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 38
I'm not sure, but the British slang might really be throwing me off here. It's just...taking me out of the story. A lot of the stuff being said is a little too...posh. As I'm reading, I picture this as a movie and I hear everyone speaking with a British accent. But for what it's worth, this was still a good chapter. I hope Zach's alright!
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 37
Oh Gosh, that's horrible for Zach and Andre. Oh, and the whole scene with Jade, Cat, and Jade's family was very...choppy. It was just a jumble of words strung together and hard to follow. I got the general idea of what was happening, but I had a hard time figuring out what was going on. It would be a good idea to use more description because right now, the chapter is 95% dialogue and sometimes I'm not entirely sure who's speaking. This was a good chapter, though.
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 36
I don't know how to feel about this chapter. I guess all I have to say is that I hope Robbie doesn't back out of his relationship with Cat. He would have broken everything Cat had built in her self confidence and that's not cool.
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 35
" "She's upset with you. She's in the bathroom, she's sick. Blaise is looking after him."
Robbie was concerned but a wave of realisation hit him when remembered the baby. "She'll be okay."
"I know. Aunt Jade's with her so she'll be fine."
"Where are Blaise and Seth?" Robbie asked, placing his keys down. "
All of that was a little confusing. And, I think you should use some more descriptions. Like, what does Ally look like? Does she look a little like Cat, only English? Does she have an English accent or? And, I feel like Tori should have told on Robbie, but it's good she didn't. I'm not entirely sure I feel bad for Robbie, because I feel like there are things he could have avoided.
Would you look at that? Only ten more chapters left!
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 34
Sikowitz taught Cat for six years? Was she held back two grades? American high schoolers are only in high school for four years. But I'm just pointing that out. Robbie should have at least called Cat to tell her what's going on!
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 33
I'M SO CONFUSED EEK.
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 32
Tori is NOT going to like meeting Zach lol. I can just feel the tension rising. But maybe she'll understand and just get bad that he didn't ask her first. Who's talking to Robbie? They need to go away!
| Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go 5/8/13 . chapter 31
Eek, cliff hangers! I'm running out of things to say now, haha. There's only so many times I can say I love this story and hope for the best without it sounding repetitive.