Well, this story has a somber atmosphere, which holds true throughout the story. The awesome description adds the emotion of this story, and the smooth flow in Jowy's and Jillia's thought/dialogues makes it a sweet story to be read. I do feel that there's a nice poetic flow in your writing. I think Jillia was being overly polite to Jowy (lol, but never mind with this). Haha, I also remember the scene when Riou and Jowy tried to climb the wall and got chased off! And Jowy's past is just interesting (and rather sad). I like the lines about the what-ifs in the end because they are very realistic. What-if is a childish dream indeed, like what you mentioned! :)

There were few mistakes in the SPelling And Grammar (SPAG), hope this helps:
Instead, it (smelled) like rain - the past tense of 'smell' is not 'smelt'
find (the) Black Sword - missing an article
(cast) an eerie glow. - the past tense of 'cast' is still 'cast'
(The) Black Sword pulsed in - missing an article
Warmth, a feeling (that) Jowy had not feel for a long time.

I thoroughly enjoyed this lovely-written story! :)

Cool! This is really breathtaking. The way you describe the story is really powerful. Even I can feel the emotion and the hurt inside it. Wow! Please write more! This is really a great story D

This is great. This should be before the final battle of the game. This is indeed heavy but clearly describe the feeling of jowy before the battle. I like the way you painted the scene and it becomes a picture in my mind. Amazing!

This is amazing. I'm not 100% sure on the timeline (I'm guessing post-Greenhill, pre-Matilda?) but it is interesting that both Jowy & Jillia seemed to be resigned at this point to the fact that Highland is eventually going to lose the war. I never considered the possibility that Leon would have wanted Jowy to actually kill and "sacrifice" Jillia, but you really can't put anything past Leon.

It was striking how Jowy & Jillia mentioned that they were only sixteen & seventeen, particularly when they sound so much older, both preparing for their downfall and quite possibly their deaths. Well, I could ramble on forever, but I'll just say that you've captured everything that I love about these two characters. Great work! :D