|Reviews for Déjà Vu|
| TheFrogFromHell 1/1/13 . chapter 9
Somehow, this chapter feels like the calm before the storm. Jesse seems to have let Jane go, but she clearly is not ready to let go of Jesse. I'm wondering what will happen when they do actually speak again. Discovering that Jane is still interested in him might be difficult for Jesse, but if he rejects her, it could damage her while she's in an already delicate state.
There were a few very minor grammatical errors in this chapter that I noticed. I'm not really in the mood to point every single one of them out here, but most of them had to do with tense. I can send them to you in a PM later if you want.
Anyway, a good chapter, as always. Thank you. I hope I don't have to wait too long for the next one... ;)
| TrenchcoatsAreSexy 12/31/12 . chapter 9
Awww it's nice to see Jane putting Jesse first rather than just rushing in and demanding he listen to her.
And I thought the Jesse and Walt scene went nicely, though Walt was nicer than he usually is :P
And I loooved the Jane and Donald scene. Rawr they are adorable :D
| Dan Sickles 12/23/12 . chapter 8
What a beautiful ending! But there is more, like an epilogue, right? I really want to read that! Again what impresses me most is you have an uncanny gift for dialogue, for capturing the verbal rhythms of the show. And all of these characters are completely in character from beginning to end. And the last sentence is incredibly poignant and touching withoug being mushy or sentimental in any way. Great job!
| TrenchcoatsAreSexy 12/17/12 . chapter 8
Awww Jane and Donald! Great chapter _
| WishfulWriting 12/11/12 . chapter 8
Was this the end? :( I hope not! Another fantastic chapter. Again, I love the way you tie actual lines/events from the real show so cleanly into this beautiful, realistic alternative reality. I truly hope it's not the end because you certainly have many options for where this could go and you're truly skilled to run with it. I loved the conversation between Jesse and Walter- Walter's firm but protective/teaching ways, and poor vulnerable Jesse. I'm happy Jesse was strong enough to know Jane's bad news as much as it hurt him. Walt has such a fine way of being persuasive, feeding into the other person's psychology so well. I hope to see more from you soon!
| CaliforniaTD 12/9/12 . chapter 1
And the long awaited review for mein IRL friend finally comes in!
As far as involving established characters goes, and an AU take on the original story, this is the best fanfiction I've seen so far. As far as I'm concerned, you have the characters nailed down to a tee. I perfectly imagined the voices and facial expressions of the characters as you wrote them thanks to how you wrote, which seemed completely familiar if not identical to how they're actually written and acted. Well done there, assuming that was your intention.
The allusions to the actual show's timeline are cleverly done, and I'm quite excited to see how the rest of the chapters will progress the story. Jesse's mixed feelings on the matter established later in the fic are quite excellently implemented, and I just wonder how Jane as a character will have a final say on the matter. Is Jane destined to be a lost cause, or will she be the girl Jesse always saw in her?
Keep the chapters coming. Professionally done.
| TheFrogFromHell 12/9/12 . chapter 7
WOW! I must say, I'm very impressed!
Impeccable spelling and grammar... intriguing plot... everyone in character, from Mike (or... "Saul's guy" to be more accurate) to Donald to Badger and Skinny Pete.
I'm pleased with the events of this last chapter, although they are sad. I'm happy that Jesse realized what kind of a person Jane's addiction has turned her into, as hard as that must be for him. I'm very interested to see where the story goes from here; I'm not sure if, in the canon, Jesse ever completely let go of his "pie in the sky" dreams that were crushed by Jane's death. Perhaps severing his connection with her before the inevitable occurs will prove to be, eventually, less traumatic for him.
Usually I give some constructive criticism, but really, I have none. The story is great. The one tiny thing is that there were a couple of words run together (I think it was "lovehim" or something, in the chapter before this one) but I know from experience that sometimes Document Manager does that automatically, which sucks.
Anyway... spectacular job, and I will continue to read!
| WishfulWriting 11/28/12 . chapter 7
Great chapter. It's a very interesting read because it puts to light a lot of the thoughts I had after Jane died in the show - at the end of the day, even with Jesse's (puppy) love of her, she was bad news. She actually pushed him towards a downwards spiral, for the needle he had never even tried before, and there's no doubt she would have made his struggle with addiction harder. A combination like them is bad news. Her attitude now is a true testament to the trouble that would have persevered. Jesse thought everything might just go back to normal, but he was blinded by his infatuation with her and wasn't seeing the truth. I can't wait to see where you take this one! I love his innocent belief that things can work out though. Good for him for storming out.
| Dan Sickles 11/27/12 . chapter 7
The shower story was fun, but this is the real deal! I was blown away by how much this felt like the real show, as always. I nearly cracked up at my desk when Walt made the "purple sock" comment about Marie! And last of all, I am the mushiest person ever, and I always make my romantic stories too happy. I really love the way you don't do that here. Jane is so utterly mean and uncompromising at the end . . . I really love that about her, and your writing!
| TrenchcoatsAreSexy 11/24/12 . chapter 7
Gahhh Jane, stop being so cold to them! :( They just want you to be okay :(
| TrenchcoatsAreSexy 11/20/12 . chapter 6
I love that Jesse and Donald are working together! At least for now...
And for this one, for the ABQ game... Mike has the same/similar lines and Jesse's words to Jane echo Walt's to Jesse's :D
| Dan Sickles 11/19/12 . chapter 6
Great chapter! You write in a way that is very understated yet very powerful. I was really struck by Jesse's reaction to the crack house and Walter's grim understanding of "the other reason" not to let him inside in the first place. I even wanted the chapter to be called "the other reason" just because that was such a meaningful passage. You do Walter's voice perfectly, by the way. The way he's so cold and superior yet unable to understand how normal people care about each other.
I can't say much about Jane and her dad because it made me too sad. I mean knowing how things really turned out. But this is really an amazing story!
| WishfulWriting 11/18/12 . chapter 6
Very interesting reading this version when thinking about Walt finding Jesse in this predicament on the show. One of my favorite scenes of the show actually when he's just holding Jesse and comforting him, forgetting his usual tough love. Watching Jesse's perspective of this scene while "sober" is well done. Jesse is loyal to a fault, but his call to Donald really shows he's a man of his word.
| WishfulWriting 11/18/12 . chapter 3
So glad I started to read this story! I'm really enjoying it so far. I love seeing a different twist of the real chain of events. The way you tie in certain actions that did really happen in an AU way is great. The characters are spot on. I'm really feeling bad for Jesse here. Continuing now...
| Dan Sickles 11/13/12 . chapter 5
Okay, so I won't say your the best fanfiction writer I've ever seen. But I will certainly comment that you are the most disciplined, and meticulous writer I've seen in a long, long time. I can really see that you study every line of dialogue and every emotional reaction to make sure it's 100 % true to the character on the show. What blew me away was not only how well you write Jesse and Walter White, but even minor charactersl like Badger and Skinny pete. That line, "evolution, brother. It's all about evolution," that sounded more authentic than anything I've ever seen. Like watching the show!
Let me also comment that the suspense in this chapter was absolutely excruciating, right down to the bitter-sweet moment when Jesse finally gives up and lights a joint. I can't wait to see what happens next. You are an amazingly thorough and disciplined author!