|Reviews for Sequel: Jake's Girl|
| Snowbird forever 3/2/13 . chapter 26
And I LOVE it! Absolutely love it! Sorry that it took me so long to read and review this epilogue, I was caught up with writing new chapter of my story "Taking the long way around", but now as I finally posted it, I am here to comment on your chapter!
I love every part of it! I know that I sound like a broken record, hahahaha, but it is true! Lucy was cute as a button through whole chapter, but okay, let me start at the beginning!
She was absolutely adorable at her weather forecast, I couldn't help but giggle at how she informed Cloud dancing that snow will come soon! He, however is still the teacher, he knew better that it will be just a frost.
"Lucy's eyes brighten with excitement as she squinted through the glittering giants at the people milling about the terrace of her home. Their laughter echoed and laced throughout the frosted woods creating such warmth, Lucy thought the ice may melt. Although, she had only been away for two day's after her Mama's large belly began to ache, she'd missed her parents deeply." - Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww, Mama's large belly started to ache, lol, so cute, and so kid - like, especially when it comes to Lucy! And I loved how you wrote that the warmth that people on terrace created could melt the ice! :D A perfect touch and addition to a feeling of love and brand new life breathing inside the Slicker homestead! :D
She was absolutely too cute as she walked upstairs and took a first glance at her little sister! She is already acting like a big sister and it warms my heart! :D Izzy! I laughed happily at that! There is something in innocence of child's world that brings happiness to higher level every single time! I loved how she said "Like Mama", my eyes filled with tears at that! Lucy is such a cute, wise little girl, she will be a great role model for baby Isabelle (pardon, Izzy! :D)
Cloud dancing's thoughts about how life can bring joy to a man even when he thinks that happiness forgot him definitely made me cry. I am so happy that the Slickers accepted him in their family and I can see how much he loves the little ones.
"The tiny little fingers clamped shut around the tip, as if to show him she accepted him unconditionally." - This was written just perfect, I can't find the right words! My heart melted too!
A sight of Matthew and Katie always lifts my spirits up! He is so great with her! Okay, okay, I won't start talking about Matthew otherwise this review would be miles long, hahahaha! :D But, I wanna hear Loren and Hank singing! That must be quite a sound! :D :D :D
Brilliant story, my dear friend! I loved it! Looking forward to read the next one, so expect reviews in few hours (as it is already three in the morning at my place :O )! Keep on writing, I never get tired of your stories!
| Snowbird forever 3/2/13 . chapter 25
Here I am, eyes full of tears, my coffee absolutely forgotten as I got completely lost in this beautiful chapter! The way you described their lovemaking took my breath away, I wish I could write like that! I love the way you describe Teresa' hair: "black as a raven under the midnight sky" and "inky blackness". Somebody else would just write "her black hair", but you, girl, you got a soul of a poet! I am absolutely amazed! And the way they started their dance of lovemaking, wow, that was written beautifully, I am completely lost for words!
"He could have died in that moment Jake thought closing his eyes." - This simple line shows his incredible love for her. Thanks to your story I can imagine their life together, and it would definitely be like this! I am so glad that she is healing, my heart warmed at how she worried about Lucy first, than about the stitches on Jake's head; nothing can escape her eyes when it comes to two people she loves the most!
A baby will be safe now, Teresa will get strength from having Jake and Lucy back, safe and sound.
"Jake Slicker's mind raced with wonder at the thought, 'his children were safe.' His beautiful wife was in his arms and once again, he wondered if he could die from happiness." - OH, OH, OH, THE THOUGHT OF HAVING A NEW STORY BY YOU ALREADY STARTED ABOUT THIS MAKES ME SOOOO HAPPY! :D
| Snowbird forever 3/2/13 . chapter 24
I love love LOVE it! Huge grin on my face now! I just knew that those idiotic soldier would pick up on Cloud dancing and my heart broke for Lucy when she clutched to Cloud Dancing and cried "Grampaw!" ! And than the show begun! I was so upset with the way soldier was addressing Cloud Dancing and because he was upsetting a poor child, that when Jake said "What's thah matter. Can't you see the resemblance?" I actually gasped and than started to grin happily! Jake has gone through so much, but I am glad that he appreciates Cloud Dancing now, it is true, he is part of their family now, there is no doubt about that!
And Hank! Girl, once again, you portrayed him perfectly! I think William Shockley and Beth Sullivan themselves would praise you for this writing! "Fly away now birds" had me cracking up completely. And than the moment of respect, gratitude and understanding between Cloud Dancing and Hank really added more emotions to this chapter. But, once again you wrote typical Hank; winking. :D That is so him, he can be a man to whom you can count on, but at the end, he will always pull out a joke! :D
Now, lets see how is Teresa doing!
| Snowbird forever 3/2/13 . chapter 23
There's nothing better to accompany my coffee than a good story, and you, my dear, outdid yourself! This is fantastic!
I have to admit that I was also confused/surprised by Michaela's outburst, but when a soldier said that they thought this was "Injun problem", I got the picture. I love how Hank also realized what was Mike aiming too. There is something so amazing in every moment when Hank and Mike see the world with the same eyes! :)
"Although the sunlight felt delightfully warm, it was nothing compared to the little arms, which wrapped around Jake's slim torso." - aaaaaaaaaawww, I totally melted at this line! Little darling, she is finally safe in the shelter of her Daddy's embrace, just like she remembered during those horror hours! Their connection never cease to warm my heart, you've created a real and sweet Father - daughter connection between them!
Thank God that Cloud Dancing was there to help, I am afraid that Jake wouldn't be able to hold his composure until they reach home. It is better that Cloud Dancing takes Lucy on their trip back to Colorado.
"She passed limply into Cloud Dancing's bare arms, never stirring from her slumber." - you described the magic of a sleeping child so well, I could see little Lucinda breathing deeply in her sleep, not waking up. she knows that she is safe now, and she finally relaxed. Poor little thing, she's been through so much.
Final part with Hank made me smile. You write him so good, always manage to give a touch of humour to your story. I can just see him chuckling at Grace. :D
"Chuckling to himself he knew only Grace could walk through town like the Queen of Mardi Gras, bouncing to her own music." - Girl, I don't know from where do you pull lines like that! Your talent for writing amazes me in every single chapter! This is brilliant!
I hope that soldiers won't pick up on a fight once they see Cloud Dancing. Jake isn't all that well and Lucy surely doesn't need more on her little back! *clicks button "next" impatiently* :D
| Snowbird forever 3/1/13 . chapter 22
Oh, where to start? What should I comment first? "sandy eyebrow" and "crystalline pools of Hank's eyes" were the expression that took my breath away! See, this is why I love your writing; you pay attention to such small details that bring story so much to life! Jake checking secretly for any sign of hurt on Lucy warmed my heart and just like I thought, their reunion made me teary again! Oh, thank God they found her! I hope she won't have traumas after all she went through. Such a cute moment when Cloud Dancing produced her little shoe and she wiggled her toes! :-D Lucy calling him Grandpa melted my heart! Uh oh, I wonder are the boots still there, hahahaha! I loved the insight on how Hank felt about the Slickers, mostly I liked the image of Lucy giving him a badly shaped scarf, hahaha, aaaaww, so cute! He is her favourite Uncle, I can already tell! :-D Awesome chapter, written beautifully!
| Snowbird forever 3/1/13 . chapter 21
I can't login over my mobile phone, nor can I quote the lines, but I will try to review the best I can like this because I can't hold back from reading! It's so tense! I loved how you described Jake not hiding, as a bear searching for its cub! Exactly, that is a kind of Father Jake would definitely be! Those men are gross, poor Jake at hearing all they said! Good that Sully noticed that they're lying, Lucy surely isn't dead! Omg, I gasped when Jake fought with that creep! Wow, did Cloud Dancing found Lucy or is it Jake's imagination? I have to hurry and get to the next chapter! :O
| Snowbird forever 3/1/13 . chapter 20
"Following suit with the other he happily patted what he hoped was Jake's knee." - hahahahahahaha, I nearly fell off my chair from laughter!
I actually grimaced at Jake being clumsy at the beginning and imagined how he felt when he started to walk barefoot, it must have hurt for a while, ouch!
Wow, Lucy actually pierced out that man's eyes?! :O Oh, my God, poor child, she must be terrified! It is dark, she is running away from bad men and she did this...poor little darling!
I love Cloud Dancing! He immediately knew she was remembering what he taught her!
The little part about Lucy remembering Cloud Dancing words and how she decided to erase her tracks was amazingly written, she remembers everything and is capable of holding her composure in order to save herself! Good girl! I just hope that the men she just saw weren't Jake, Sully and Cloud Dancing!
| Snowbird forever 3/1/13 . chapter 19
First of all, I am so sorry for not reading and reviewing regularly, I had a hard exam and studied whole February. but, I passed it and finally got back to your story! This chapter created lump in my throat! First when they found her shoe, and Jake's reaction:
"Her-Her feet get cold at night," Jake said to know one in particular. "I put them on her myself before she went to bed."
I was crying at that line. Sully knows what is he going through remembering Katie being kidnapped. To see Jake like this, it is so like him, he would be excellent Father, I just know it.
Than Lucy remembering the safety of her parents. I was crying even more at every single line you wrote. Exactly how the kid would feel if somebody snatched him or her from Mum and Dad. There is something in the security that parents give that nothing can replace. I love how you wrote it:
Moonless nights were the worst for her. The ebony abyss that engulfed her room would always send her imagination into a surfeit of creation, weaving unknown horrors in her blindness. But it was the fear that sent her feet running into the fray, with some clutching force needling at her back. Heart racing like the frantic wings of a humming bird, she'd burst through her parents bedroom door. Lucy held on to the sensation of that memory, as she was passed on to another mans peppery smelling shoulders.
"Heart racing like the frantic wings of a humming bird" - pure poetry! It shows how much she got scared by the visions of her imagination in the darkness of her room!
It was so comforting that in all that horror as she ran away from her captors that Lucy remembered what Cloud Dancing taught her. That little girl is so smart for her age, God bless her!
"Run her mind screamed at her feet. Somewhere would be the creek that led to home. Somewhere would be her father's waiting hands. Somewhere." - This said it all. Nobody can protect a little girl like her father. I hope she finds them soon. I can already imagine the rejoining and I know that I will be crying because I am sure you wrote it amazing! This is such a great, heartwarming story, that brings the importance and warmth of what family means to all of us! Thank you for that!
| Linda4HIM59 2/17/13 . chapter 26
"Bright and covered in hues of white, gray, and silver, the winter day illuminated the world around them."
Sigh, beautiful first paragraph :)
"Even housed in the closed barbershop with her grandfather, telling her the eerie tale of how the white buffalo had protected Sully, had not sated her longing to be near her parents."
"Yah ready tah meet someone?" he asked bringing her close to the bassinette, so that she could peer down at the animated form.
Sooooo Jake :)
"Briefly, Jake saw the old him standing sheepishly in his mind's eye. There was nothing left for that man anymore, he thought willing that tainted form to whither and fade into the abyss."
Oh I love this!
Wow, thank you for such a wonderful epilogue! Such a joyful way to end a tense story. Sigh. Warm and fuzzy, just the way I like it, hehe.
Awesome story girl! Super job!
| Maria 2/17/13 . chapter 26
Great end of a great story! I loved it much! And the words "for now" make me wonder when we will have a sequel? Would like to read more of this!
| Maria 2/15/13 . chapter 25
Great progress of this family-story! I like this Jake and marvel at your writing about their relationship. You announce an epilogue only? Okay, - an epilogue first, - and then I want a sequel! Can't wait to read more of this!
| Linda4HIM59 2/14/13 . chapter 25
"Fingers trembling against the deliciously arduous task, he was halfway down her lovely bare back, before he'd lost what little was left of his control. Grabbing the two open ends of the dress in his hands Jake shredded the fabric in two, freeing her exquisite form."
LOL this gave me a chuckle - Impatient, are we? hehe. ;)
"Jake tried to push his worries behind him as he imagined the tiny spark of life thriving inside his wonderful wife. Jake Slicker's mind raced with wonder at the thought, 'his children were safe.' His beautiful wife was in his arms and once again, he wondered if he could die from happiness."
Aww sigh. Love it. I adore this Jake and how he was with Teresa, almost from the first moment he saw her. I love in that first episode, she told Guillermo, "That man, he stares at us." LOL - he stares at YOU! hehe. Anyway, I digress, lol.
Sweet chapter and loved the little insight into their wedding night, nice touch. :)
Forget to come back for the epilogue? Fat chance! :)
| Maria 2/12/13 . chapter 24
Yeah! Sound and safe back in town. Great achievement: Jake and even Hank support CD and call him an equal. Can't wait to read more of this!
| Linda4HIM59 2/12/13 . chapter 24
"His eye's shifted back and forth as the corner of his mouth curled upward, in a devilish grin. "What's thah matter. Can't you see the resemblance?"
ROFL! What an awesome Jake line, I busted out laughing! High five!
"For a brief moment, Hank locked eyes with Cloud Dancing, and a silent understanding took place. The two men nodded to one another, like two passing warriors, until Hank winked turning back under the eaves of the saloon."
Awesome awesome awesome, I SO wished we would have seen that in the show! It never made sense to me that they worked together so well in Point Blank saving Michaela's life, and then several episodes later Hank comes dragging CD on a rope into town. GRR.
"A light breeze pitched and swirled in and around the trees, misting the air with the musky fragrances of hawthorn and wormwood."
Oh sigh, I felt like I was right there :D
Sigh, another super chapter. :) Teresa should be fine now that Jake and Lucy are back. :)
| Linda4HIM59 2/10/13 . chapter 23
"Surely, this was mere paranoia dancing on his nerves. However, he couldn't shake the feeling that in calling the army they had unwittingly angered a venomous snake."
Wow, what the heck is going to happen?
"The sunlight trickled like gold dust through the trees, casting the mossy green leaves in magical hues of splendor."
Sigh, what a golden pen you wield, lady fair! :D
"Sweet and tangy, the cider flooded his mouth springing his taste buds to attention, and delectably alerting the tight glands at the base of his jaw."
Oh man, how descriptive, I could almost taste that delicious cider just from reading that! :)
What a small, yet meaningful chapter! Now I'm thoroughly nervous about what these grumpy soldiers might do... Next chapter, hurry! :(