|Reviews for Darkness in the Forest|
| Punish-The-Guilty 5/17/13 . chapter 11
Hooray for the update ;-)
| Guest 4/18/13 . chapter 10
This is fantastic!
| Crookneck 4/13/13 . chapter 10
I hope you will excuse the absolutely graceless way I will begin this review – by pointing out typos! :D “…he could feel the arrowhead nudge a little deeper between his rips”. I think you must mean ‘ribs’, though at this point perhaps ‘rips’ is appropriate, and also it’s likely safe to assume that Elladan is ripped, in more ways than one. Also, “If we was to bring aid to the others…” He?
Moving on - I love that in the beginning of the chapter a treeroot tripped him and then he slams into the trunk. Earlier he is running with little regard to what he’s stepping on, and the branches are snagging at him, and now a tree trips him. This detail was a great reminder for me that the essence of Greenwood the Great is becoming darker, which so far is the premise of the entire story. Of course an anxious and injured (and hallucinating) Elladan might trip over a root and that would happen anywhere, but in the context of the story, though it doesn’t necessarily mean anything, it still brings to mind the reason that everything is cast in such gloominess. (Not that we really know the reason yet.)
Interesting – being lowered ‘gently’ to the ground and then seeing orcs. That was a definite tip that something was amiss!
“…as if a dozen bees were trapped inside his head and in his ears…” How great! I can imagine a little of what that would feel like, the heavy pressure of the buzz and swarm and white noise, pulling the mind in so many directions that it wants to give up and disperse itself… that’s how I imagine it would feel, anyways.
What Elladan sees – how awful. I know (I think) that they’re just delusions but they are still disturbing, owing in a large part to the very blunt way that part of the story is told. What they do to Elrohir really made my stomach churn. Now, of course, I am wildly curious as to why Elladan saw that, and boy do I hope someone straightens that out for him soon, because I can’t imagine a worse reality than thinking you’ve seen the brutal deaths of your own family, and not having been able to lift a finger in their defense. Yeesh. He’s going to be one relieved elf when he realizes that was a hallucination.
Can’t help but wonder if Dorríw and Elladan will be making it to their destination… I’m hoping Maelrodh’s blessing helps them on their way.
It was great to hear some about Elladan, I’ve been wondering about his fate. This story has been such nonstop excitement! It’s so strange to read about elves being kind of scattered and broken up like they now are, I doubt that happens to them very often! Definitely part of the intrigue of the story, it’s such a unique setting to find our favorite characters.
| BrightWatcher 4/12/13 . chapter 10
That was exciting. :)
I enjoyed... His hallucinations... I believed they were actually happening for a moment.
Good luck with your writer's muse!
| Punish-The-Guilty 4/12/13 . chapter 10
Yeah, an update. Really looking forward to the next chapter.
| Glorelwen 4/11/13 . chapter 10
Love the story please continue !
| FireSenshi2 4/11/13 . chapter 10
Poor Elladan! Update soon!
| GGina8 3/8/13 . chapter 9
Please continue this! I love it! Update soon! Hugs 3
| Alanic 2/1/13 . chapter 6
Great battle description!
| Alanic 2/1/13 . chapter 5
Great story! I am intrigued by what is affecting Elrond and of course I always love a little elf battle action.
| FireSenshi2 1/13/13 . chapter 9
Poor Elrond and Legolas! Oh so very eager to read more! Such a pity that they didn't tell Elrond what he had said... :)
| AnneWithane 1/11/13 . chapter 7
Oh man. My money is going with "he had somehow been pushed int his direction..." Yikes! And where is Elrond! Biting my nails until I get to the next chapter...
| AnneWithane 1/11/13 . chapter 6
Oh dear. Things just keep getting worse for the pretty prince! I have to say that I really, REALLY like the way you write battle scenes. Your battles are vivid and detailed, but fast-paced. I think that's a tricky balance to keep, and I applaud you for it!
| cai-ann 1/9/13 . chapter 9
Aw more hangers? You have a couple of typo's in this chapter the major one I found was you forgot the word Hair, at least I think you forgot it in the line - lying practically face down, long, dark obscuring any features.
I enjoyed this chapter and hope they are found by a patrol or the others soon.
| Crookneck 1/8/13 . chapter 9
Ah, basketball pep-band. The memories. I remember having arguments over whether basketball was better to play for or hockey. I always found hockey more entertaining but man, brass does weird things in the cold.
ANYways. As always, I love the first line/paragraph. Quite the opposite of the whiplash we got a few chapters back, this ‘waking up to rain’ thing is on the other end of the scale. Peace after such a string of violence – very nice. Love the detail about the raindrop in the ear, that just makes me cringe. Great juxtaposition between ‘soothing rain/wind’ and the sudden pain of movement.
Props to you for sending Legolas to go lay in the mud. It’s not every author that has the courage to muss up his lovely hair.
Oh, Legolas, no, don’t drop your hunting knife! That’s important! (I mean if not for the story’s sake, at least culinarily…) I love how you describe ‘his rescuer’, and how he goes about approaching the pile of shadow. Down to the mud, how it mingles with the blood, the silver embroidery, the trapped and empty scabbard. It’s just enough description to paint a strong picture, a believable amount of detail for Legolas to take in before he takes action.
It’s also quite believable, the way you describe how Legolas searches for the wound that would have rendered Elrond unconscious. I probably would have had Legolas blubbering uselessly over the body, but you’re totally right, he’d have had the sense to do something useful!
So many mysteries now! Yet you do two wonderful things here at the end to make the mysteries ok! One, you have a re-cap of the events as such. Thank you for putting the main bits of the story there for us to remember. Gets us into his head, which is good, and cements the story into MY head, so I can hold it there better until you update again. And, two, your ending scene is fabulous. I love that two elves are sitting/laying in the rain/mud. That’s refreshing. And that neither of them are ‘alone’, and at least one of them is awake to care for the other. Even though things seem dire and mysterious and overwhelming, there’s still… I don’t know. The companionable moment (even if it’s just one-sided) leaves me in a state of fitful rest, instead of ‘holy crap, how can this possibly end well, I’m going to go insane between now and the next update’.
And, I agree with a previous review – Elrond’s hand! Poor thing. Hope we find out how THAT happened soon. I’m wondering if you’ll somehow tie this in via memory/comments with what happens to him in Poisoned Star.
Impressive run of updates! I’d say update soon but I’ll be courteous and respect your need to engage in other aspects of your life, such as family, school, and income.
Haha, just kidding. Update soon! :P