|Reviews for Luigi's Mansion: the Musical|
| AmaterasuIssun6 5/6/13 . chapter 1
OK, Ember is cool yet Luigi's acting brave. In the GCN game, he so scared he shakes like jelly.
| Lily Fenton Phantom 4/29/13 . chapter 8
| gothgirl01 4/29/13 . chapter 8
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! *Dances around her bed room gets yelled at since its 10:20pm* lol! XD
| gothgirl01 4/27/13 . chapter 7
Aw thank you but it was nothing really just glad I could help both chapters were FABTASTIC! :)
| Lily Fenton Phantom 4/27/13 . chapter 7
ANother great chapter, i love it loads update soon :)
| Lily Fenton Phantom 4/27/13 . chapter 6
awesome chapter i love it :) it's jus awesome! and amazing!
| gothgirl01 4/15/13 . chapter 5
I have been reading this story from the beginning and i kept forgetting to review sorry. I love this story but it ROCKS! :)
| Lily Fenton Phantom 12/24/12 . chapter 4
Ooooooooo little cliffhanger! I love it, update when you can! And merry christmas!
| Lily Fenton Phantom 12/18/12 . chapter 3
Coool chapter! Really good! :)
| Lily Fenton Phantom 12/14/12 . chapter 2
Hey! I remember you telling me that you were writing this story! I have to say: I like it! Its really good so far and well I cannot wait for an update!
| Super-taya 11/11/12 . chapter 2
I'm sorry to say this, but Ember is a huge Mary Sue. You spend too long describing her outfit in the first chapter, and have plot holes every now and then- if she had just arrived in the mushroom kingdom at the very beginning, then how come a year later she remembers how scared she was of Boo Woods when she was young? how is she already Best Friends with Daisy? It really would help if you kept things straight.
Another Mary Sue trait Ember has is the colour-changing eyes. For the Human race, that is impossible. and on the topic of impossible, what's up with her story about her heart? either her whole heart dies, and she has it entirely replaced, or she's safe. It shouldn't be halfway in between.
I do like how you had various people dressed up as various characters from other fandoms, but it kinda goes overkill when you start to describe every little detail about each costume. And what are the chances of the two future lovers dressing from the same fandom?
speaking of your two lovebirds, in one year Ember goes from not knowing who Luigi is, to kissing him on the lips. That escalated quickly. too quickly. I feel their first kiss should have been later in the fic, after a bit of character building and furthering the relationship- what do they have in common? what do they like/dislike in each other? that helps the reader like the couple more.
Also, you're not supposed to use the lyrics to copyrighted songs on - copyright issues. And every time a new person starts speaking, you start a new paragraph. this helps to avoid confusion to readers.
On the upside, you have great lengthy chapters. some people I have seen have 50 - 600 words per chapter, and with that, you spend more time flipping between chapters than reading them. your spelling and grammar is also superb, and you aren't too repetitive with using common words like Smiled, Said, ect.
Thank you for your time,
| Nintendo Fan 101 10/31/12 . chapter 1
Actually Ember is a character from Danny Phantom and I would know since I have watched the episode where we first saw her.