Oh, oh! I know what the Pokemon is! I know! Lol, sorry everyone. Can't tell

im still alive. WRITE MORE!

Good work, Jamie! Cliffhangers are a great technique. I can't remember how many times I've used those in Triforce Cadets already. Keep it up, and try to use the computers at school if you have them. That's what I do now

Love it keep going :)

Yay! FREEDOM!

Interesting story! Please continue. :)

Descriptive. I like the idea of the whole thing about not being allowed to get a Pokemon..so interesting. I'll keep reading :)

Hey. Overall, your writing skills aren't bad. You stay on topic, and that's good. But you still need to show the readers WHO Zeia is. That's one of the first things you want to do, even if you leave some to be discovered later. But people need to know the basics of the character. You seemed to have wrote other stories about characters who were already created by others, so people already know what they're like. But Zeia is new. Nobody knows who she is yet. You've gotta give her an identity

Zeia is... Interesting... Not really sure what I think about her yet. There's still not enough for me to go on. Please keep up the good work.

Good job, Coull! You've got spelling mistakes all over the place, and my OCD hates it, but overall, good summary. I'll be changing Hope's Story into first person shortly, so don't worry about that. It'll also make it easier for me, because I've gotten quite fond of first person. You've forgotten to do more of a summary on Zeia herself and just did her life, so you should edit your story to describe her a little bit more, like tell people about HER. Who she is, what she can do. Proper spelling, and tell people about Zeia. That's my constructive criticism for you