man, this needs alot more reviews "come on people this is a really good story!"...you are incredible, plus this is your first story right? you got to continue don't let nothing bring you down cuz your talented, if i could right as good as you i'd be soooo happy. you're really great keep writing want to know what'll happen! please continue! :D this is a really good story! :D

Great chapter! Loved the length and detail. Keep going!

Update... please?!
Also, maybe you could extend the chapters a bit; make them a bit longer.