Pretty good and rather interesting.

Just one mistake that I saw; "Oh, sweet fang I'm, that's why a couldn't answer.."
the I'm is suppose to be I am. I know, english is rather confusing but you don't abbreviate I am in that kinda of sentence. Sorry, kinda hard to explain. ;

This was pretty good, especially since English isn't your first language. You should make the chapters longer though. Good job though!