|Reviews for The Curse|
| IcyWaters 4/18/13 . chapter 10
Ugh, how utterly disgusting! Bouchard is even viler that I could have ever imagined. What kind of sick, twisted mind comes up with such a plan? I can't wait to see him suffer the wrath of Zorro's blade!
Hehe, let Iah unleash the full extent of his powers. ;-)
The revolting subject matter aside, I loved many details in this chapter that I want to touch on. First up is the difference in architecture. It's a wonderful aspect. I enjoy seeing our hero out of his element and this was a creative way to throw him off balance.
I also liked how Zorro's anger flared when he overheard the women's conversation and again when he listened to Bouchard boasting of his sick plan. Diego is a proper caballero through and through! It was great seeing how his stomach turned at even the thought of raping a woman.
He was also at his most charming when he treated Anna as a respected señorita, and not as a mere servant that is disposable. She must think this is a dream. :-) Though I am worried for Christine. Once Bouchard learns someone dared mess with his soldiers, he's going to get furious – and Bouchard strikes me as the type of man who will want to take his fury out on an innocent.
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. You have a villain even more dastardly than Jose Varga. It's going to be a joy to watch Zorro teach him a lesson.
As for the rating, I think you are fine as is. The descriptions are not graphic or explicit, nor are you glorifying such actions – the hero is repulsed by the mere thought. It's well within the T rating.
| miXiZ 4/18/13 . chapter 10
Oh that Bouchard... no wonder Zorro is so angry. Not even Iah could blame him for it. I do hope that our hero will be able to defeat that monster sooner rather than later without having Iah "turn" on him.
Don't worry about your imagination. There are people like that out there, and that is whats sick.
Thank you for the update!
| IcyWaters 3/30/13 . chapter 9
Amazing chapter. There is so much I want to touch on. Where should I begin?
I'll start with Iah's growing powers. I like the double-edged blade where he becomes more dangerous as he learns to control his feelings. I briefly wondered if that might happen, but since Iah's heart is in the right place, I trust he will do his best not to kill. Hanna's words have me concerned: "It's a start, but this is a fine example of things getting worse before getting better." Just how much worse will it have to get? *gulp*
On the topic of Hanna, it's nice to find out Iah has a friend in her. Being able to confide in someone who also has powers should be beneficial. I just hope she isn't a spy for Fadi or something along those lines. I'm also glad she didn't kill any of the soldiers. They are simply following the orders of their commanding officer.
As for Fadi, this line really caught my eye: "He might know a few tricks, but in a righteous battle he wouldn't stand a chance against the infamous El Zorro." I was under the impression he was all powerful – I love the idea that he is no match for the honorable Zorro. Will they ever go head-to-head in battle? It's fascinating to ponder!
Two Spaniards and two Egyptians are roaming the forests of Canada... it sounds like the start of a joke. :-) I'm thrilled by the challenge Bouchard poses. It has the feel of an old western with the cattle baron who owns the town. Even though it would be wisest for Diego and friends to push forward and not get involved, it's good to see his passion for justice stirred. It's not in his nature to watch innocent people being abused.
The fox versus Bouchard – this is going to be fun! :-)
"After all, Zorro was who he really wanted to be."
Yes! This is exactly how I feel about Diego. He needs to be the fox. I can't wait for the next chapter.
| miXiZ 3/30/13 . chapter 9
Ah... another wonder child, another villain. Poor Diego has his work cut out for him. Thank you for the update and keep on writing, I really wonder how the odd foursome will get away from Bouchard and Fadi.
| miXiZ 3/20/13 . chapter 8
Yay, a new chapter! :) Losing files is just awful... hope it never happens to you again.
My mind still can't grasp that they're going on the run... what will Alejandro think and do? I like it how they're trying to figure out a way for Iah to gain control over his gift. I would hate it if they'd have to stay hidden because the boy is a danger to others. I wonder if Fadi knows where they are and what his next move is going to be.
Bernardo was awesome showing Iah how to focus. Wonder if he practises that with Diego as well ;)
I can't wait for the next chapter... I have a feeling Fadi will have a big part in it...
| IcyWaters 3/20/13 . chapter 8
You are too hard on yourself once again. :-)
There are so many details in this chapter that are wonderful. It's fascinating to follow the trio as they go on the run from the law. Choosing the United States was a solid decision; Spanish officials have no authority there as they do in Mexico. There is always the possibility one of Zorro's enemies will hunt them down, but they don't need to constantly worry about lawmen interfering.
I am a little confused when it comes to their reasons for going to Canada. Ships on the East Coast of the States traveled everywhere — Europe, the Caribbean, South America, etc. It may have taken some time to find a direct route to Australia or they might have had to board again in South America, but they could get there. But that is only a minor detail.
I really enjoyed how Iah is beginning to take control of his gift. I also liked how Bernardo took a lead role in helping the boy. Iah's devilish amusement when Diego asked him to destroy the boulder had me grinning from ear-to-ear. It's about time he had some fun with his abilities. :-) The growing father and son relationship between Diego and Iah is superb!
It was nice to see Iah's gift being used to save the woman in the cabin, though my heart broke when the boy revealed her daughter died. :-( I can't help but wonder if they might encounter trouble when they take the woman for medical help. I'm also worried about Fadi. He can't be pleased with these developments.
As always, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
| Cacao85 3/16/13 . chapter 7
Oh my god, i like it! It's the first story of Zorro WD that i read where the identities of Zorro is discovered! Do you know another story where his identitie is revealed ?
Im so impatient to know what could happened then!
I hope you update the next chapter rapidly
(sorry for my english, im french )
| Guest 3/11/13 . chapter 7
| IcyWaters 2/23/13 . chapter 7
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god... You actually did it! Hehe, I love the way Fadi appeared in front of Monastario and told him Zorro's true identity. The commandante being truly fearful of the foreigner was a nice touch. It showed a vulnerable side to our dastardly villain.
I know you don't think Monastario has any redeeming qualities, but he posed some interesting questions. What is there are more like Iah in California? The entire country would be in trouble. There would be little he or anyone could do to stop these forces.
My absolute favorite part is Monastario charging into the de la Vega hacienda! And he found the secret passages! Damn, it makes me want to squeal in joy and cringe in fear all at the same time. I felt so bad for Don Alejandro and Sergeant Garcia. To realize they had been deceived by someone they cared about must be a terribly crushing blow.
When the lancer spotted Bernardo, I feared they might actually catch him. I breathed a sigh of relief when he escaped. No harm had better come to him. :-) I think I'd rather you kill off Diego than loyal Bernardo. Wait, forget I wrote that. No need to give you any ideas...
Really, really looking forward to the next update.
| miXiZ 2/21/13 . chapter 7
Oh geez... you really let Fadi do it. Now I worry for the Fox and the boy. Wonder how they'll get out of I wonder what Diego will do... if he will survive Fadi and Monastario.
You sure put an uneasy suspense in the story now ;)
| IcyWaters 2/14/13 . chapter 6
Don't be too hard on yourself. We are our own worst critics. :-)
There are a lot of great details and developments in this chapter. I feel terrible for Iah and all that he has endured — inadvertently killing his father and feeling guilty for the death of his mother. What a horrible burden to be saddled with! Iah has endured so much tragedy in his short life. I liked how he brought out Diego's fatherly instincts. I never imagined Diego running away from his problems, but it fits in this scenario.
If they do make a run for a ship, I can't help but wonder what will happen to Don Alejandro. I certainly understand why they can't take him with, but what will become of him? It's scary to think about.
Since you have expressed some dissatisfaction with this chapter, perhaps I can help pinpoint the areas that felt off to me. The way the previous chapter ended, I had the impression the confrontation with Fadi ended. To open with him speaking was jarring. A small addition, such as "The Egyptian remained before them" would make it more cohesive.
As a previous reviewer mentioned, it did seem there was too much repetition with Zorro worried about his identity being revealed. It's definitely something that will worry him, but I don't think you needed to mention it quite so often.
I'm also very curious about this ship Iah boarded out of Egypt. That's a long journey to California and they beat him a bit? That sounds like a recipe for disaster! We know Iah can't control his abilities, so it must have been a bloodbath. I suppose I can't blame Zorro for skimming over it, but I really want to know more. Could it be he felt he deserved the punishment for killing his parents, therefore his anger wasn't unleashed?
I'm also dying to know where you will take this. Will Diego actually leave California? It's a tantalizing idea and something I don't recall being done before. So I can't wait to learn what happens next.
| miXiZ 2/14/13 . chapter 6
Don't be too upset with yourself. I'm sure your ideas will come back to you.
I just noticed that you repeated Zorro wondering if people now know his real identity several times. A bit too often maybe ;)
Apart from that I'm very curious how the situation will solve itself. Do they really know his identity? If so, do they believe it or laugh it off again? If not, what will Zorro be doing about Iah? Is there a way Iah can learn to controll his "gift/curse"?
So... keep on writing!
| IcyWaters 1/26/13 . chapter 5
Wow, oh, wow... another fascinating chapter!
"...but upon closer reflection it might not at all be wise to bring Iah so close to Zorro's hotheaded father."
Ha, that gave me a good laugh. Yes, Don Alejandro's temper and Iah's abilities are not a good mix. ;-)
As soon as Zorro introduced Bernardo to Iah explained the manservant could neither speak nor hear, I expected the worse. Since Iah is able to feel people and their emotions, I knew he detected it was a lie. I feared his demons would be unleashed. I never expected him to turn and run! I breathed a sigh of relief that the kindness Zorro has shown him has already had a positive effect.
Señor Varela's appearance also took me by surprise. I didn't expect him to find the boy so quickly, but it's a terrific piece of plotting. Monastario was angry Varela sided with Zorro. What better way to get his revenge than to inform the viceroy Zorro is shielding his wife's murderer? Awesome!
Zorro's identity is at stake, Iah's life in on the line and Varela has a choice to make. I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm also curious how the Egyptian Gods became entwined in California.
| miXiZ 1/26/13 . chapter 5
Very nice cliffhanger... please continue :D
(got a new ID... used to be mimoji but I cant access that)
| Cruelest Sea 1/5/13 . chapter 4
Fascinating and unique story! Looking forward to more.