|Reviews for Sparrow Squadron - My life as an Aurelian Teen Fighter Pilot|
| pir84lyf 12/31/12 . chapter 5
Blizz! I see a classic story here in the making. possible even better than mine and ive gotten some pretty good reviews about it. lol. keep it up Ace.
| pir84lyf 11/27/12 . chapter 4
That test sounds like fun haha
| 101stkillah 11/26/12 . chapter 1
You have a decent story concept here. I do think, however, that it is important to use spell check and Microsoft Word.
[She looked back at me," You have good ears, not many new recruits can do this on their first day, or ever.", she said.]
The above sentence can be reformatted as:
[She looked back at me. "You have good ears; some recruits can't ever do that, let alone execute it on the first day.]
So...besides the grammar errors, a couple of incorrect typos, and a few walls of text...not a bad story. I'll be watching out for it. Keep it flying.
| pir84lyf 11/20/12 . chapter 3
well done. good explanation of his callsign.
| Shoob 11/17/12 . chapter 1
This is almost readable. Almost. Are you aware of the fact that you should start a new paragraph when a different character speaks? Apparently not. Also there are those big blocks of texts. This whole thing is really a couple big blocks of text.
Read a fourth grade English textbook and pay attention to it. Assuming you're older than ten years I expect you have already been taught this stuff.
| pir84lyf 11/15/12 . chapter 2
Looks like we meet at last Gryphus 1. Good work
| Aceofdarose 11/14/12 . chapter 2
What do you guys think? This Prologue or "Chapter 1" Prologue for the beginning-beginning of this story?