|Reviews for Fire Is My Destiny|
| Flowerfang 4/19/13 . chapter 2
Uh, this is the second time you posted the chapter, you know...
| Meep 12/21/12 . chapter 4
Sigh, more soft reviews. Well, it has potential but I feel your doing it wrong. First, there aren't any alliences so I'm confused with the characters. Who's Redpaw? What is Willowfern's role? And I'm still not sure if Grasstail is medicine cat. Also the prophecy is PAINFULLY obvious. You should check up on these things, but an allience is a must. This story is very confusing! Everything else is fine so far.
| Robinpaw 12/21/12 . chapter 4
Camt wait for more!
As I said before, this story sounds like it has a lot of poteinial!
| Robinpaw 12/9/12 . chapter 3
Wow, this story sounds really interesting...
I love the name Night (As a preffix, or a loner name)... Especially for black she-cats.
Wow, I wonder what would happen if two leaders ad kits...
I love the ability to shap-shift!
Also, you should make an Allegiances, after a while it will get very confusing.
Keep it up,
| Falling Silver29 12/4/12 . chapter 2
Omg love it! Can't wait for an update
| Mossfire16 12/3/12 . chapter 2
| Azureestrella 12/3/12 . chapter 2
grea potential for a story. nightkit sounds cute. you should make a reason for her having powers like getting struck by lightning or something. please write more!
| Mizu Dachi Ookami 11/17/12 . chapter 1
I shall fix the mistakes in my first chapter and the second shall come soon! I thank ponyiowa for the constructive critcism
| Anne Onymous 11/17/12 . chapter 1
This is interesting. And you got Yellowfang's personality exactly right!
The prophecy was very easy to figure out, like most. But it might be interesting to make the mention of "paws" literal. Will the prophecy cat need an eagle's talons (or something specific like that) to save the Clans?
| Arianna Flamepelt 11/16/12 . chapter 1
So much potential for this story! Awesome a cat that can shift form! Perfect!
| ponyiowa 11/16/12 . chapter 1
["Yellowfang," the young white cat with a brown mottled pelt dips her head in respect to the older cat. "Why am I here?"]
It would be:
["Yellowfang." The young white cat with a brown mottled pelt dips her head in respect to the older cat, yet then asks a question that could be taken as impertinent: "Why am I here?"]
As you can see, I fixed the grammar mistakes and also added stuff in to "spice it up."
["Yellowfang? Are you telling her now? do you really think it's time?" a blueish gray steps from the clearing and circles Yellowfang before sitting down.]
It would be:
["Yellowfang? Are you telling her now? Do you really think it's time?" A blueish-gray she-cat steps from the clearing and circles Yellowfang before sitting down.]
["Yes Bluestar, I do think it's time! I believe the things to come are very close. I can feel it in my bones. The Darkforest is rising stronger and the clans need to be ready for a great evil. Why else would I bring her up here? I'm NOT going crazy!"]
It would be:
["Yes, Bluestar, I do think it's time! I believe the things to come are very close. I can feel it in my bones. The Dark Forest is rising stronger and the Clans need to be ready for a great evil. Why else would I bring her up here? I'm NOT going crazy!"]
["Hey!" Grasstail protested. "It's not my fault that Sunheart got killed after I was made a medicine cat warrior..."]
Hmm? A medicine cat warrior? Don't you mean just "medicine cat"? I also wouldn't recommend using Sun-, because the sun is revered by the cats like the moon and the stars.
["Grastail, A cat, born of two stars, will have the fate of the clans in it's paws."]
It would be:
["Grasstail, this is the prophecy? Are you ready?" Yellowfang took a deep breath and then meowed, "A cat, born of two stars, will have the fate of the Clans in its paws."]
Maybe you can italicize the prophecy, to emphasize it.
["You'll know in due time!" and at that the cats left and Grasstail awoke from her trip to starclan.]
It would be:
["You'll know in due time," the former medicine cat replied, and at that, the dream ended, and Grasstail awoke from her trip to StarClan.]
So, let me get this straight: There are four cats. They are Grasstail, Yellowfang, Bluestar, and Tallstar. I only know Tallstar is there because Bluestar says his name when talking to him. Then, who is the black, frazzled she-cat mentioned in the beginning?
I'm guessing that Nightkit might be the daughter of two leaders, because of "born of two stars." The only other thing I can think of is that she's the daughter of two dead StarClan cats, but that isn't possible.
I congratulate you on making a prophecy that's more obscure than the painfully obvious ones many fics feature. By chance, does she have any powers?
I'll be waiting for the next chapter, and looking to see if Nightkit turns out to be a Mary-Sue. Let's hope not, right? ;P I like your dialogue, but be sure to watch your grammar, and add some more description and elaboration so it's not as choppy.
-Nightstar of WillowClan